Booni: Portrait of a Suicidal Bunny

Let Us Remember (Bad Things)




    When I was in my seventh year of School, I drew a picture of myself jumping off a cliff with the word “GENOCIDE” in a word bubble coming out of my mouth. It was sort of like a comic book strip. You would think it ends with a splat, but in the comic I get up, crawl about two feet away from where I smashed, and then it ends. What makes it double funny is that is based on a true story.
   
    June 25, I was in my sixth year of School at the time, it must have been like 2004 maybe? I was with my best friend Catthing, my feline BFF. I’ve known her for years, ever since she accidentally knocked at my apartment door looking for some guy named “Salad Golfer”, her then BF. We were standing behind this awesome little music store across town with the owner, Karol.
   
    He was cool; he was supplying a few funny pills that night. Those are rare in our town. That night I really felt them, I swallowed about three. Catthing told me afterwards I was talking borderline gibberish. But somehow I managed to have a full half hour conversation with him and Catthing. And somehow I remember what we talked about.

    “He really wanted to do it.” Karol, the owner said. “He really wanted to wipe out a nation of civilized Pigs.”

    I remember asking this a little bit too loudly. Everyone shushed me because they didn’t want anyone hearing us back there. We were also smoking Nip, best type of grass available in our town, and we had absolutely no plans to share. Or go to jail. “Why Pigs? They live so far away.”

    “To him they stand for everything that involves a blue suit and a shiny badge.”

    “What’s in a blue suit and has a badge?” I asked not even looking at him.

    “A cop dumbass!” he barked. “My brother hated authority. He hated everything involving authority; military, navy, the prison system.”

    “Everyone hates cops.” Catthing announced. “When my dad got arrested when I was a kit I couldn’t even look at the police station when we drove by it… everyday… and everyday I turned my head.” She wasn’t as high as I was, but when she gets like that she takes it to a spiritual level. Its interesting to even hear her talk, you get drawn it.

    “He was a good guy though.” Karol said. “He had a few screws loose but he was still somewhat decent.”

    “Didn’t he want to kill 500,000 pigs in Pigland?” I remember saying that. I remember him giving me a large smack. I didn’t feel it though, like I felt the force and the pressure of the slap, but there was no pain.

    “How did he die?” Catthing asked.

    “He died a few weeks ago. He tried to escape the building he was at but they shot him down the wall.”

    “Just for that?” We both looked extremely puzzled.

      “Well… he also viciously stabbed a guard, her husband, and their little boy to death, but they had a hard time seeing if it was a boy or a girl, that’s how bad he cut the little guy.” He gave a chuckle at that part.

    “Aw sorry dude.” I think I said that.

    “It’s okay. I got to see the bodies the day it happened. Wanna see some pictures I took of them?”

    I was the first to say yes, but it was more like “HELL YEAH!” He took out three pics he had in his pocket. The first one was of the guard’s husband. He had the worst gash I’ve ever seen from his forehead to his right nipple, and about ten little stab wounds and marks all over his chest, blood soaked the grounded he laid on. The second picture was of the guard herself. I think she was a bunny too like me, but it was hard to tell if the blood on her head was from a good whack or if her ears were cut off, and her mouth literally poured blood, she was missing some teeth also I noticed.

    I started to get a little bit overwhelmed with the brutality; I took another hit out of the Nip and passed it to Karol before he showed us the last picture. It showed the little boy lying in a pool of blood. His head seemed to almost just be attached by one little fiber of skin, other than that I think he was decapitated.  Poor little bunny, one of his ears was cut straight in half, and it seemed like Karol’s brother had fun with him. I didn’t want to mention anything though.

    “I think I’m going to be sick.” Catthing said.

    “Is it bad that I get giddy when I look at these?” he asked with 100 percent seriousness.

    I replied, “If it ends up being ‘bad’ spare me.”

    He gave a laugh. “If I ever snap and you happen to be in the nursing home I shoot in, and I recognize it’s you, I won’t shoot. I promise.”

    “What about me?” Catthing asked almost jokingly, but I knew she wanted to know if he would kill her for real.

    “You,” he paused. “I might. Just saying so you know.”  I actually felt the fear rise in her.

    “You aren’t serious are you?” she asked him.

    They seemed to have a deadlock stare, like when a snake looks at its rat before its fangs dig into the poor things back. My friend once showed me what it looks like when he fed his snake. The snake was a reptile couple’s offspring from down the street, probably 3 years old. He napped him off his favorite rock when the daddy reptile went back in his house.
   
    When I went over that day he took me to Ms. Squain’s house. She was an elderly Mouse lady who took care of her daughters little mice once a week. And it was Saturday, the day her daughter drops off the kids at 2pm on the dot.
    We waited until she drove off and the old Mouse lady was alone with the kids. Threw the window we saw her put the little baby mice in a crib. There were two of them, little twin girls. This part always gets me in a state of “I really did that?”. My friend knocked on her door without even telling me. She walks over and answers, and he asks, “Hello. Are you Ms. Squain?”

    She had on a little pink shawl, I don’t know why it was like an oven outside. “Yes I am hun. Do you need me for something?” 

    “Yes actually.” He replied. “My snake is hungry. And I think you can help me out.” As soon as the sentence stopped he swung, and she fell back as he jumped over her, tying her hands with the phone cord that was luckily just sitting their next to the door.

    “What is going…?” she tried to say but my friend stopped her with his very large finny hand covering her mouth. He forced her mouth open and removed her dentures so she wouldn’t bite. I just stood there, not knowing how to act or what to do but do what he said.

    “You’re gonna help me out.” He told her. “I just want to thank you for giving birth to your daughter. And if you see her again, tell her I said thanks for her babies. I stole some goody couples offspring as a pet, and he needs to eat.” After that breath she started to flail. That stopped after a blow to the head. He took off her eye glasses and tried them on. “Jeez lady, are you blind?” She didn’t respond, she was in too much pain. My friend ripped apart her glasses using his mouth.

    When she lost consciousness, he went over to the crib and grabbed both of the twin girl mice. I was looking around this ladies house. It was cute for a little old Mouse lady, pictures of her kids, and the kids were taking, a big television with little dusty human nick knacks. I had a thought as I was looking at the floor at her, “Hey how are we going to get away? She saw our faces!”

    “This old broad wont remember shit with that slight head trauma I gave her.” He said holding the sack. “Wanna see if she has any money?” She did. Under her mattress we found five-thousand dollars. Thank God it was all twenties. We split it down the middle. She had nothing else to take so we left. “You know why I chose her?” he asked me.

    “No why?”

    “Because she’s the only person in this area with twins. One for me and one for the snake.”

    To be honest I almost cried after that. I’m getting all sidetracked from the actual story but listen. It gets a little deeper. As I was trying to hold back my tears my friend opened the sack and pulled out one of the girls. She was still wrapped in the blanket her mom dropped her off in. He holds her out to show me. “She’s cute isn’t she?”

    I looked at her white, defenseless face, and she looked at me with her black little eyes. “Yeah she is.”

    “What do you wanna name her?” he asked.

    Huh? Name her? “What?”

    “Let’s name her! Name her something.”

    “Why me?” I asked.

    “I can’t think of one. I’ve been thinking sense I smacked that old bitch out.”

    I thought about it for a second. And I just blurted out the name “KATE”.

    “Kate?” he asked. “Hey I like that yeah know?”

    “Yeah you do?”

    “Yeah.” He reached down with his long jaw and grasped her in his mouth. Chomping and snapping, some of the blood got on my arm. “Hey, Kate tastes great!” he hysterically joked, showing me her remains still stuck to the roof of his mouth.

    “Uuhhh don’t show me that haha.” I reacted. I hate being grossed out, especially with him. But that’s how all Sharks are.

    His room was air-conditioned, thank God, it was pushing 100 degrees. The little boy he stole was sitting in the cage on his large table that stretched across his wall. Usually reptiles clothe baby snakes and diaper them. This poor little guy has been slithering around in a box of his own waist.

    “This is the best part. Now Booni, watch what happens. Every baby snake will do this.” He took out the other little girl mouse and took off her little blanket, and whatever else she had on. “Last time he choked on a button. Nope she needs to be nude so she slides down smooth.” He puts her in his cage.

    Almost immediately she starts to scream, starts to cry. She’s so young she can’t even talk. He got mad at her loud cries so he shook the cage saying “SHUT UP!”

    There was so much tension in the room I lost control of my values. I started to panic a little bit so I started to scream with him, “Yeah shut up and get eaten!” I jumped up and down, from the floor to on his bed. From his bed to his nightstand. My anxiety was on a rampage. That little girl wouldn’t shut up. She tried to move about but the filth was so mucky she slipped every time.

    My friend had a beer in his hand; he poured some out on the little mouse girl. “Finger licking good!” he chuckled. “This is the best dressing!”
   
    The snake finally gained enough interest to even care about the baby. He slithered directly in front of her. His head rocked back and forth. “LOOK!” he shouted to me, I was still freaking out. But I saw what was happening. The snake was in a staring gaze with her. He was hungry, now he cared that there was a crying nonsense in his bed. Then, the little mouse stopped crying and stared back. “She’s in his trance. Poor little thing. Oh well.”

    It wrapped around her slowly, enough so if she breaks the trance there’s nothing she can do. Only her head was visible, and that’s how the snake liked his meals, bound. And with a strike, its jaws snapped over her head. I heard her squeak, and I saw little trickles of blood leak. Not much though. His fangs sunk deep into her neck, releasing his purely toxic venom.

    A few minutes later his jaw looked like it snapped so the whole body can fit in. I really liked the part where after she got swallowed; you can still see her inside him, her lump in his body.

    But in short, that’s what it felt like when Karol stared at Catthing like that. It felt like a death lock, just like that poor little mouse. Anyways, after that Karol finally announced to her, “No I would never hurt you. I have no reason to. I got you high right? That means you’re a friend to me.”

    Catthing smiled. You know, now that I think back to that day I just realized something. Catthing used to look at me and smile like she did to Karol. Catthing liked me the first couple of months she knew me. I guess she liked Karol. Catthing was confusing either way, she had a little touch of her parents’ bi-polar disorders. “Shut up like you mean that!” she chuckled.

    “No I do, you are a friend.” He smiled at her. They both smiled. I guess Karol liked Catthing too. It’s weird how I’m just finding this out now, in a flashback.

    “Hey Karol, I got to get going. I need to sleep I’m crashing man.” I said to him, dismissing myself.

    “Okay man. You call me tomorrow?” he asked after he gave me a hug.

    “Sure dude. You coming with me Catthing?

    “Yep. I’ll talk to you later Karol.” She said to him, after a hug.

    I live across town, but our town isn’t overwhelmingly big, but big enough. I happen to live in the tallest apartment building; you can see it from any point of the town. It’s not as bad as everyone says it is. After that little run in with Ms. Squain, everyone thinks of our town as this beyond violent community brought together by blood and disgrace. By the way, that little thing with the old Mouse lady turned out to become one of pop culture’s biggest moments. The news covered it very well, and they never found out who it was either. I still walk the streets.

    Our crime was voted “NUMBER TWO MOST VIOLENT UNSOLVED KIDNAPPINGS. I remember number one was this guy back in the nineties who kidnapped a whole class and disappeared. I thought that was funny. I laughed when they first showed it “Twenty Children Disappear, No Leads”.

    “Do you think Karol would kill anyone dude?” Catthing asked me.

    “Maybe. You saw what his brother did.”

    “Oh I hated those pictures, I nearly barfed.” She laughed.

    I remember we were almost to the bridge; the bridge is the only thing that connects the upper town to the lower, my place is at the upper part, unfortunately. I was still in a fog from the Nip and the funny pills I took. I just wanted to get home, and sleep. Catthing smelled something in the distance.

    “Hey, do you smell food? I smell Chinese I think.” There is a little Chinese place owned by a Panda. He made great chicken, I smelled it too. “It’s over there!” We saw smoke from the kitchen, and we could hear the clinging of pots and pans.

    The trash can had fresh food thrown away, probably what they didn’t serve that night. I grabbed whatever was chicken flavored, and Catthing ran for the rice. “Mmm my chicken is so good!” I yelped.

    Catthing tried to shush me, but I didn’t hear her. I was in a state of pleasure. My eyes weren’t even fully open. I knocked over a trash can without looking where I was jumping. And as if right on cue, the owner, Mr. Pand, yelled and waved a dead fish at us. “Hey I see you! Get out of here!” he yelled.

    We go off running. I can hear him chasing us and screaming more and more. It was so dark I didn’t even know where I was stepping. Catthing was trying to guide me in the darkness but I lost control of where I was going. I tripped on my face and slid pretty far.

    What happened next still messes with my mind to this day. I thought I stopped sliding, but instead I actually slid off a cliff. I remember hearing Catthing shouting for me, but I just kept falling and falling. I wasn’t scared though. I was actually happy. I never had the stomach to actually do anything that could end my life. Now, I thought I was falling to my death. I smiled at the rocks getting larger, and the ground getting closer. I almost wanted to scream something as a last word. The only thing that came to my mind was all the genocide talk I had earlier with Karol. “GENOCIDE!” I shout at life as I was almost out the door and into Heaven.

    When I hit the ground I remember hearing the loudest thud ever. It felt like my bones, organs, anything inside me, shift about two-inches up into me. I laid there for maybe five minutes. I thought I was dead, I felt nothing and saw nothing. But when I lifted m head, I was mortified that I was still on earth, resting in the large blood spot I made upon impact. I tried to move, but all I could do is crawl a few feet, and eventually drop again on my stomach. “How?” I asked myself. “How? Is this what death feels like? Living?” I didn’t feel much so I was very confused on what happened.

    I rolled over onto my back and looked up, I saw the night sky, and the very high cliff I just fell from. I knew I was still alive. But how?
   
    And that’s when I found out I couldn’t die.