After the End- A Man Called God

The man called God looked around. The place he called home was not much of one. The radiation had destroyed much of existence. The army barracks’ rations had held him through much of the nuclear winter. It was likely what he was alive. Closing his eyes he sighed, adjust his suit coat slightly. It appeared that it would be the last suit he ever wore, though where it had come from goodness knows. He had looked through the deserted barracks several times, but most of the clothing that remained was either too small, or burned to its occupant.

Again he made a noise of discomfort, but rose from his bed nonetheless. The lead-lined walls of the barracks kept him mostly safe from the outside world, but nothing was perfect.

The sound resumed outside, the on that had woken him. It seemed to be a shouting. A female voice faintly penetrated the walls of the underground bunker. Finally making up his mind the man called God grabbed one of the military rifles.

As he climbed the cracked concrete steps the noise became clearer.

“Please!” The voice was cracking in panic. “Don’t kill me. I’m begging you.”

The man called God opened the door a crack, its noises of complaint muffled by the woman’s screaming. He was momentarily blinded by the sunlight. Once his eyes adjusted, he could see the woman clearly, as well as who she was talking to.

The woman herself had red hair and was of a short stature. The person she was talking to was a dirty unshaven man, much like God, but taller and leaner. He spoke. “Well if I don’t kill ya, this’ll hurt more. Being eaten alive is painful from what I hear.”

“What are you doing this?” The woman screamed as God eased the door further open.

“Well my boys have to eat.” The man chuckled. “You’re the best choice.”

The woman gasped. “You….” He voice was cut off as the man’s handflew around her throat. “What!? I’m a monster? Is that what you want to say?” His voice echoed off the rubble that remained from the above ground part of the barracks. “I’m no more a monster than you are. I am a survivor. Me and mine stay alive by any means necessary.”

It was silent. Then God started to clap.

The man whipped around at the sound, but was unable to get the first word.

“You aren’t a survivor,” The mancalled God said, “You’re a raider. Your body may live, but you are tainted- dead on the inside.” He aimed the rifle.  “Leave raider.”

The raider stared at him, attempting to read his expression. “You wouldn’t.”

“I might.”

“Why do you care?”

“Do I?”

The raider turned to leave. “You’ll be hearing from me.”

“I doubt it.”

The man called God moved to the woman> “Are you alright?”

She nodded. “I think so.”

“Would you like to stay with me for now?”

She nodded, but her facial expression quickly changed. “Watch--”

The man spun, catching the raider with the butt of the rifle. As the figure dropped to the ground the man called God brought his dress shoe to the man’s face. The raider began bleeding from his mouth and spat out a tooth.

“I told you to leave.” God stated.

The raider was silent, besides taking the time to spit again.

“Nothing to say?”

“Go to Hell,” the raider gargled around the blood draining into his throat.

The man called God took aim. “We’re already there.” His shot slammed into the raider’s shoulder. “Go back to your fellows. If you come back here, you will find yourself with another hole.”

The raider groaned in pain.

The man called God crossed back to the woman and extended his hand. As he was guiding her past the raider, the beast of a man leapt from the ground.

A knife flashed and sliced a gash in the man’s arm. He shouted and caught the raider’s knife hand with his uninjured arm. He kicked the raider’s legs from under him, dropping with him and kneeling on his forearms. The raider head-butted him in the face. As he was pushed back, the man called God shook his head to clear it, cursing aloud.

The shot rang out before he realized it. The man called God slowly looked down at the smoking pistol in his hand. Then he turned to the shell of a man bleeding in front of him. He placed the weapon back in his pocket.

The woman crossed to him, cautious of the dead raider. He ignored her attempts to help him up, forcing himself to his feet.

“Inside, lets go.”

He grabbed the rifle from the ground wondering idly when he had dropped it, then followed her inside. After struggling to close the door with one hand, he stumbled down the steps.

The woman followed closely. “Why are the lights on?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Generator I think.”

“Well….what powers the generator?”

Again he shrugged. “What is your name?”

She seemed startled. “Emma.” As they reached the bottom of the stairs she stopped walking. “And yours?”

“I am called God.”

“Your name is God? You aren’t really….?”

“No.” His voice was swift. “That is what I am called. I don’t remember my name.” He started to move towards his room.

“What you are called?”

“Yes.” His voice didn’t seem to echo off the walls as hers did.

“Who calls you that?”

“Me.”

By this point he had been standing in front of his door for some time, but not yet entered.

The woman crossed to him. “But why?”

“There isn’t anyone else in the position. Might as well.”

“But you don’t do anything different.”

“I’m doing more than he did.” He opened the door to his room. “You can’t come in here.”

“And why not?”

Rather than answer, he entered the room. Emma followed unhindered.

“You ask a lot of questions,” the man stated, “Are you a scientist?”

“I was.” The room seemed smaller to the man now that someone else was looking at it. The space itself contained two beds, the second of which had various firearms laid out on it. The tiny room left little space for standing.

The man called God pulled a box from under the clean bed. Once he had set it down he removed first his suit coat and then his dress shirt.

“Hm, I seem to be running out of this,” he commented evenly while he threaded the needle. He struggled to sew up the stab wound for a few minutes before Emma finally spoke up.

“Let me.”

He looked up. “Are you sure?”

She nodded nervously.

God let go of the needle and Emma took hold of it. Slowly she stiched up the gash that marred his arm. “How did you know?” she asked.

“Hm?”

“The pistol. How did you know you’d need it?”

He shook his head. “I didn’t. I always carry it.”

“Always?”

“Do you think it’s paranoid?”

Now Emma shook her head. “Earlier today I might have, but right now I’m glad that you had it.”

He winced as she pulled the thread tight to his skin. “You were a scientist. What did you study?”

Emma made no noise. When God turned to look at her she had become very fixated on his collection of weapons.

“Emma?” His voice was softer now.

“Please don’t ask me that.”

“What? Why?”

“Just please don’t.” Emma covered her mouth with a shaking hand.

He looked into her bright green eyes. “Alright.”

After another pause he added, “You can stay here the night. We’ll find you your own room on the ‘morrow.”

Emma nodded again. Sitting mutely as he cleared off the other bed.

“Toilet is around the corner. It’s small since this is the officers’ quarters.”

Emma moved to the bed and lay down. After clearing the other bed God turned off the light and lay in it.

“God?” Her voice was barely audible.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”



Emma woke sometime later. She wasn’t sure whether it was night or day, since the light hadn’t changed. She stumbled across the room to the switch and blinked as the light came on. She immediately noted that the other bed was empty. Her mind began to panic she pushed the door to the room open, but stopped in the doorway realizing that she had no idea where to start.  God had only told her where the bathroom was.  Her panic wearing off Emma calmly moved towards the bathroom.  As she got closer she heard noises from within.  She pushed on the door, but it only moved a tiny bit before coming in contact with something.  The man was kneeling in from of the toilet.  Emma slipped through the crack in the door as he leaned forward to puke.

“You alright?”

“I’m…” he puked again.  “I’ll survive.”

“Are you sick?”

He shook his head.  “I’m mostly shielded from the radiation in my lead-lined walls.  That little blast of it is making me sick.”

She stood there a moment before moving towards him.  She gently hauled him to his feet and got him over to the sink.

While he rinsed his mouth she asked, “How is the water still on?”

He just gave her a look.

“Right.  Don’t know.”

Once they arrived back at his room the man called God handed Emma a pistol.  “Here.  For protection.”

“We’re going outside?” her face seemed pale.

“Not yet.  But there could be others down here.”  He paused.  “And someday you might need protection from me.”

He put his own pistol in his pocket and turned to leave.  “Lets find you a room.”

Emma didn’t move.

“Emma?”

“I might need to protect myself from you?”

He sighed, “I hope not, but it’s a possibility.”

“You might try to hurt me?”  Her voice was shaking now.

He moved closer and tipped her head so her eyes met his.

“I don’t want to, but the human psyche works in odd ways.”

“When she didn’t respond he slowly awkwardly put his arms around her.

Slowly she calmed.

“Come on.”

They wandered the hallways, finding some long rooms; storage rooms and the like.  Finally on the opposite end of the main hall they found another officers toom like the one God stayed in.

“I guess you can stay here.”  God looked at the worn bed.  “We can get the other bed from my room if you want.

She slowly nodded.

The man called God sighed.  “Or I suppose you can stay in my room.”

She brightened a bit.  “I’d prefer that.  I’ve been alone for so long…  I’d really like to stick with you, at least for now.”

He nodded.  Slightly at first then more visibly.  “Alright.”

As they were walking back Emma saw a side hallway the hadn’t traveled down.  “What’s that way?”

The man called God looked where she pointed.  “The kitchens are there, that’s where the rations are.”

With a half smile he added, “You hungry?”

She giggled, “A bit I suppose.  My last meal was from an old convenience store.”  She noticed he was staring at her.  “What?”

“You giggled.”

“You smiled.”  She countered

“I did not.”  His tone was a bit indignant

“Well you half-did then.”

He shook his head and wandered off down the hallway.

Through the doors at the end of the hall was a large room with lots of tables.

Emma spoke, “This was…”

“Where the soldiers ate their meals, yes.  It’s also the only place within the barracks that the soldiers and officers shared.”

“Were you a soldier here?”

“I can only assume that I was considering how much I know about this place.”

“Kind of a depressing place isn’t it?”

He looked at the plain concrete walls and the hard metal of the tables and chairs.  “The military doesn’t spend money of frills.”

He absently leaned against one of the chairs.  “I feel like someone told me that once.”

She placed her hand on his shoulder and he jumped a bit before leaning against it.  God shook himself a bit.

“I’m sorry, you wanted food didn’t you?”

She followed him through the kitchen door.

The kitchen itself looked a lot like the rest of the barracks.  Everything in it was metal appliances and counters.  All of it was slowly rusting.

“There’s non-perishables in the cupboards here.  There’s some things in the fridge but I’m trying not to take it every day.”

She pulled something from one of the cupboards.

The man called God watched her as she ate, comparing her precise slowness with his own swifter eating habits.  He forced himself to look away not noticing her eyes on him.

“What will you do when you run out of food?”  Emma asked as they left the kitchen.

The man called God shrugged.  “I’ll probably leave, or I’ll die.”

Her expression changed.  “You shouldn’t talk like that.”

He turned to face her.  “It’s the truth isn’t it?”

“Sometimes the truth isn’t what people want to hear.”

“But it’s the truth.”

“That isn’t the point.”

“Then what is?”

It was Emma’s turn to not have an answer.  “What’s this door?”

The door in question was not like any of the others.  Instead of wood or heavy concrete the door was a shining metal.  Unlike the rusting appliances in the kitchen the door was seemingly untouched by the ravages of time.

“I’ve never been through there.  There’s an electronic lock.”  He passed his hand along a spot on the wall and a panel popped open revealing a keypad.

Emma moved to the pad.  “These are what we had at the lab where I worked.”

The man chuckled, “You worked in a lab?  That’s quite stereotypical for a scientist.”

She glared at him.  “Yes I worked in a lab.  What of it?”

He just shrugged.  “I wasn’t aware people were able to get paid for that anymore.”

Emma’s look darkened.  “No one gets paid for anything anymore.”  The door’s lock clicked and the door slid open.

The man called God looked at her in confusion.  “How did you-“

“I told you.  They had these where I worked.  My code worked.”

They both stared at the dark passage behind the door.

Emma spoke first.  “Why isn’t there light in there, even though there is out here.”

The man leaned his head inside and the lights turned on in the passage.  After he removed himself the light switched back off.  “Must have a motion sensor or the like.”

Off a little ways in the darkness a growling noise could be heard.  From the darkness a beast the size of a large dog emerged, fangs bared and eyes wild.  It leapt at Emma, but she moved away with surprising swiftness.  The creature bounded off the wall and lunged at the man called God.  His pistol was knocked from his hands and clattered to the ground.

The beast turned and pounced on him and he staggered back.  For the second time that day he found himself falling to the ground.  Emma had drawn her pistol, but could only watch him struggle for fear of shooting the man called God.  Mustering her courage she kicked the creature in the side.  It snarled and turned to attack her but the noise abruptly turned to a squeal of pain.  It made the noise again and slumped to the ground.  It struggled to stand again but the man brought down the bloody knife had had stabbed it with.

He was still a moment.  All was silent.  He heard a faint noise from the dark passage.

“Emma.  Close the door.”

“What?”

“Close it!”

She punched a combination into the door.  It silently slid shut.

The man called God wiped the knife on his pant-leg before slipping it back into the sheath that was hidden in his suit jacket.

“Was that?”  Emma’s voice was strained.

He nodded.  “The knife you were almost killed by.”

“Why do you have it?”

“He doesn’t need it does he?”

He was quietly slipping his pistol back into his pocket.

They were both silent again.

“You aren’t going to criticize me?”

“This is the second time your actions have kept me alive.  I won’t be criticizing anything.”

“Then help me get this rat to the kitchens.”

“What?”

“I thought you said you weren’t going to criticize.”

“That’s a rat?”

“Once. Come look.”

She leaned over the dead animal.  God pointed, “See.  The talk is bald and here.”  He showed her its face, “The snout is narrow and short.  Not like a dog at all.”

“But what?”

“Radiation mutations.  Not all species were touched by it.  Humans are mostly the same as well as most other.  Some though, like cats, changed severely when the bombs went off.”

“How do you know this?”

“I-” Suddenly his face darkened further than normal.

The man called God grabbed the corpse and started back towards the kitchens.

Emma ran after him.  “Wait!”

“No.”

“God!  Dammit!”

She grabbed his shoulder and spun him around.

“What is wrong?!”

“Nothing!  Absolutely nothing!”

“Then why won’t you talk to me?”

“It doesn’t concern you!”

“Yes it does!”

“Why!?”

She said nothing; her face faded from its angry red to a more natural color.

God watched the light they were under, listening to the buzzing sound it made.  “Now you won’t answer.”

Emma became very interested in a spot on the ground.  “You’re worrying me.”

“I know.”  He forced her to look at him.  “Why are you worried about me?”

“You…you are dear to me.”

The light buzzed.

God broke Emma’s gaze and slid down to sit on the ground.

“You shouldn’t get too close to me.”

She moved to look at him.  “I…”  her voice was barely audible, “It’s too late for that.”

He leapt to his feet, arms out, face resuming its fury.  “It is not too late!  Get away!  Now while you still can!”

She moved towards him slowly.  She put her hands on his and slowly brought his arms back down.  “No.”  Her voice was stronger than it had been since God had found her.  “I’m not going anywhere.”

He removed his hands from hers and started to drag the rat towards the kitchen again.

She reached to grab his hand again.

“Don’t.”

“Why not?”

“There’s blood on my hands.”

She look.  His hands indeed had blood from the rat all over them.  In most places it was still wet but some patched on his palms had started to dry.  Emma looked at her own hands next seeing that their contact earlier had put small patches of blood on her hands as well.

“It’s alright.  It will wash off.”

The man turned and slapped her.

“It never washes off!  Don’t you get it?!  There is blood on my hands and I can never get rid of it!”

She just stared at him in disbelief.  He sighed.  “You want to know what I’m not telling you?  I haven’t always been alone here.  There was someone else once.  We became friends, or perhaps we had been friends before.  All I know is the day I woke up, he was there.”

“The day you woke up?”  She sat as well.  He nodded nervously, swallowing hard.  I told you I don’t remember my name?”

A nod.

“Truth is I don’t remember anything before the bombs went off.  Not in detail anyways.  Seems kinda cliché actually.  Trauma-based amnesia that’s what Jim called it.”

“Jim?”

“Aye.  Doctor Jim White.  Apparently he was a genius.  Had a degree in everything scientific you could imagine.  He tole me a lot and much is in his journal.”

“You still have it?”

“There.  He filled books examining how the world is now.  He would be gone for a day or two then reappear demanding food and spouting stories.”

They were both silent a moment.

“What happened to him.”

“I shot him.”

Emma gasped covering her mouth with her hands.

“I couldn’t help it.  He lost his mind.  He attacked me and…and…”

His voice caught in his throat and Emma because aware of tears flowing from the pits of his eyes.

“He was my best friend.”

She wrapped her arms around him with very little hesitation.

“It wasn’t your fault.  This place, this planet now, does things to people.”

He sniffed, like a child that refused to use a tissue.

“Do you see why I say you have to get away?  You aren’t safe here.”

She shook her head.  “You aren’t him, and I’m not you.”

She dragged him to his feet.  “Come on, lets get this to the kitchens.”

She too a long breath in.  “Though I have no idea how I’ll be able to eat it.”



Not long after, they finally closed the freezer door.  The rat had been skinned and cut into chunks of meat, and now rested in the freezer until such time that they might need it.  They sat at the table now, each with circles under their eyes from a long day’s wok.

God had a knife out and was slowly spinning it in his fingers.  Emma on the other hand was playing with her hair.

“You want to go back, don’t you?”

Emma looked over.  God’s eyes were away from her.  It seemed like he hadn’t spoken.  “What?”

He turned to face her.  “You want to go back through the door.”

Slowly and nervously she nodded.

“I just keep thinking of the information that might be down there.  There might be something that can fix the world.”

“Nothing can fix us.”

“Pardon.”

God slammed the knife through the table.  “We screwed up!  The human race destroyed the world, and now we will never get it back!”  He dropped his head into his lap, shoulders slumped in defeat.  “Sometimes I think the greatest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere is that none of it has tried to contact us.”

Emma’s expression turned from horror to amusement.  “That’s from Calvin and Hobbes.”

“What?”

“It was a comic before…well before.  You quoted it just now.”

“I did?”  He raised his head.  “What was it about?”

“A young boy and his stuffed tiger.  He would go on the wildest adventures.  Other planets, the past, even just his own backyard.  He was quite the hero.”

God smiled a bit.  “C’mon lets go.”

“Where?”

“Your door, where else?”

“But I thought…?”

He shook his head.  “Pandora’s box has already been opened, it’s time to see if there’s still hope at the bottom.”



Emma shifted uneasily with the weight of the combat rifle on her shoulder.  “Why am I carrying this?”  Her hands unconsciously fingered the pistol in her pocket and the lock-blade knife shoved into her belt.

God cocked his rifle.  “I have no idea what might be in there.  We’ve already seen a rat.  For all I know there’s another way into this place and there’re raiders waiting for us.”

A shiver ran up her body.  “I hope not.  I’ve had enough of them to last me the rest of my life.”

A round clicked into God’s own pistol.  “We just have to be ready for anything.”  He shoved the gun into the pocket of his suit coast.

“Open the door.”

Emma keyed in the passcode and the door silently opened.

They both stared down the dark passage, waiting to see if something would move.

Emma jumped as God stepped forward.  He took one step into the doorway and paused.

A mechanical voice spoke up.

“Human presence detected, startup initiated.”

The first set of lights in the corridor clicked on.

Emma stepped up beside him.  The lights had revealed a scene that she recognized.  As opposed to the cement walls of the barracks, these walls instead looked more like a cross between a space-station and a hospital.  The walls and floor seemed to blend together with a light strip running along the middle of the walls and ceiling.  The pale color of the surfaces was some odd looking cross between metal and plastic.  God looked around in obvious wonder.  “How do you not get lost in here?”

Emma giggled.  “Watch.”  She moved to the side of the door and opened another hidden panel.  She keyed in a sequence and was rewarded with another computerized response.

“Welcome Emma.  Current location set as entry.”

God’s mouth hung open.

Emma shook her head.  “I forgot you haven’t experienced this before.”

He nodded.  “I don’t know much about computers.  Nothing I remember anyways.”

“I’m the opposite.  Computers used to be half of my work.  We generally ran simulations on them.”

There was a growling from off in the dark.

“Shit.”  God spun, removing his rifle from his shoulder as he did so.  The shot was off before Emma could blink.

The rat dropped to the ground with a thud.

After a moment Emma leaned against the wall.  “That surprised me.”

God nodded.  “Hopefully that’s the last of them.”

Emma’s gun went off and another rat dropped.  “There goes that hope.”

She started down the hallway.

“C’mon!”

Not far along, the hallway split.

“Which way?”  Emma questioned.

“I was going to ask the same question,” was the response.

She nodded and took the hall to the right.  A few intersections later they reached a dead end door.

Emma read the name plate. “Generator.”

She turned.  “God, this must be what’s keeping this place running.”

“But what keeps it running?  We’re underground, so there’s no wind, but we’re not deep enough for thermal power or an underground spring.”

Emma nodded.  “Time to find out.”

She unlocked the door.

The noise as it opened was deafening.

A multi-story turbine spun in the gigantic room.  Ahead of them was a small walkway that lead around the turbine with ladders to other walk ways.

Emma stepped to the edge of the walk way in fascination.  “This isn’t the generator room.  We’re inside the generator itself!”

As if to confirm her statement visible sparks shot towards them curving around the walkways plastic bubble.  God walked to the ladder down and put his foot on the first rung.  “Well.  Let’s find out what’s keeping this place going.”

They traversed down three stories before reaching the bottom of the generator.

“Alright.  This way.”  Emma led God over to a small control room.

The door opened with a hiss.

The control room looked like the bridge of a spaceship.  There were computer panels with lights flashing all different colors and a large screen on one wall.

Emma moved to the center console.  Her fingers flashed across the interface.  Under her breath she muttered, “Main, system, records, core, generator, no, schematics, blueprints!”  The picture that appeared on the screen was a jumble of words and diagrams to God.  Emma traced her finger across.  Following the lines back to the bottom.

“It’s electric,” she whispered.

God gave her a look.  “It’s a generator of course its electric.”

“No.  The generator is running off its own power.  Whoever invented it fixed the problems of a self supporting power source.  They’ve minimized the waste and upped the return to eliminate it.  This generator could run forever if it wasn’t interrupted.”

She turned to him, a look of wonder on her face.  “This could save the world’s energy problem.  We don’t need fossil fuels with this.”

He just gave her a look.  “The world doesn’t have an energy crisis.  Not anymore.”

Her face fell as his words sunk in.  “Yes…I-”  She tried to sit in one of the chairs by the unit, but barely touched it, instead sliding awkwardly off the edge.  The chair tipped over with a loud clatter.

God turned quickly noting Emma’s blank stare.  “Emma?”  He crossed to her swiftly.  Tears slid down her cheeks.

“Hey now, what brought this on?”  God spoke softly.

“It’s my fault.”

“What?  No it’s not.”

“It is!”  Her voice was forceful.  “Didn’t I tell you I’m a scientist?  I was on the team that built the bombs.  We had it all figured out.  The formulas were perfect, we’d…tested it way out in the desert.”  She choked out a sob, “Then he betrayed us.  My research partner gave the places to the Vardan’s.  Next day.  I don’t know how they built ‘em so fast.  It was only the next day that we got the news.  Bombs were being dropped.  Here.  There.  Anywhere there were people.”  She seemed to realize that she was still talking.  “It’s all my fault.”  The room was silent except for the hum of the machines.  Emma turned to God hoping for his comfort.  His face held no sympathy.  Instead it was pure fury.

“You!”  he shouted.  Emma fell back as if slapped.  “It’s because of you that I am trapped here.  Because of you I live on scraps and the dead.  You’re the reason I wish every night to not wake up the next morning yet can’t just end it.  My body keep fighting despite how I wish it would end!”  His hands wrapped around her throat.  “You put me in this hell.  Let me help you get to yours!”

A shot rang out.  God stumbled back.  There was another.  He put his hand into the bullet holes.

“Told you,” he whispered before he slumped to the ground.

Emma shakily sent the gun on the ground.  She moved to his still form.  “Idiot.”  Emma knelt before her friend, kissed his forehead and cried.