Untitled Document

Untitled Document

July 13, 2010
I think what I miss most about our house in Missouri was my room. I had my own room. A place I could go to be my artistic, creative, weird self, without being judged or bothered by my younger sister, May. I would sit on my bed with my art table in front of me. I would drink Dr. Pepper and eat cheesy popcorn. I would watch my favorite shows until I became too tired to keep my eyes open. I loved my room. I had one wall painted light blue. As I looked around the room, I would think that the other three white walls symbolized everyone else, and that I was the burst of color in the world. I was the blue painted wall in my world. It sounds silly, but I believe it more than the religion I’ve been taught. Like I said, I loved my room. It was me. I didn’t have to worry about how I looked, or which people despised me that week. May called it the cave. She’d always wonder why I was always in my room. Well, in my room, there was peace in the world. There was peace in my heart, in my mind, and my soul.
Since I moved to California, things have been very different. I am no longer allowed to eat junk food like it’s going out of style. I share a room with May. I don’t have internet yet. I am going to a high school in August that is three times the size of the high school I would’ve gone to in Union. I eat cereal for breakfast everyday, while in Union I never ate breakfast. I eat a pb&j sandwich almost everyday for lunch. My sunflower seed addiction has grown to an obsession. I can no longer drink Dr. Pepper every minute of every day, which upsets me greatly. I moved into my mom’s boyfriend’s house. His sister and her husband live here also with their baby, Zeus(Yes, his name is Zeus and he’s absolutely adorable) and three year old, Nicky. I have no friends out here yet. I miss my friends from Missouri greatly. My boredom level has increased. I get the urge to cry more. I get nauseous more often. I get more uncomfortable now.
So here’s my question. When will it get better?
Life seems pretty dreary right now. I can’t even write poems anymore. I wouldn’t know what to write. I don’t draw. And I think Mom’s boyfriend sold my beloved art table. I swear if he did, I will go ballistic. That was my Dad’s. He died about two years ago. On my twelfth birthday. Anyways, Mom’s boyfriend doesn’t seem to understand why I do the things I do. He also has this insane idea that I could be a model. I’m sorry, but models usually are frizzy haired and 4’11’ at fourteen. Well, that’s me. And I’m not the skinniest girl in the world. I like to think I’m pretty, but it’s hard to keep my self esteem up. I’m excited for high school though. I found out that the high school I’m going to was the same high school Katy Perry performed at last Thursday! Isn’t that cool? Plus, I think high school has so many more opportunities than middle school had. For my elective, I’m taking Video/TV Production. I’ve chosen to be a movie director after high school and college and everything. I’m also taking Spanish 1 and Girls Tennis. I’d rather take tennis than regular Girls P.E. Haha.
Anyways, high school’s still pretty far off. I have to get through the summer first.

-Aj