Love Bites! - So do Vampires - Chapter 2

“Jared!” The instant the voice shouted and broke the man’s attention, I scrambled over to the other side of the bed.  I immediately grabbed my nearest weapon, a throw pillow, and held it in front of me in a defensive position. “That’s right, back off! I’m armed!”

Now I’m not really sure what good a pillow would have done if he’d actually decided to attack me, but I’ll have you know that I am an expertise in the arts of pillow fighting. Once, I even knocked a girl out. Of course, this was only because she accidentally slipped on the hardwood floor we were wrestling on and hit her head… but that’s hardly relevant information.

The man looked back to me, and then at the pillow in my hands “Sweetheart, this isn’t a slumber party,” he chuckled, “But I’d be happy to put you to sleep…,” he said, ensnaring a wrist in his hand and then tossing aside the pillow. He suddenly pulled me close, whispering in my ear, “…for good.”
“Jared!” the voice from earlier squawked again. I could hear the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. Another masculine figure suddenly came into view. It was hard to make out his face, but I could hear the cold expression in his voice, “Leave.”

Jared, the one holding me captive, turned to the other man. “But George, why can’t I play with my food?” he whined childishly.

“Excuse me! Do I look the main course of this evening’s menu to you?” I demanded, free hand resting at my hip.

Jared ignored me, and I suddenly prodded a finger at his chest, “Hello? I’m talking to you! What the hell do you think you’re doing? Did Jessica put you up to this? Did she!? That’s it, isn’t it!? That’s the reason she dared me in the first place! Open up that mouth of yours buddy, real fangs my fanny!”

“What is this girl talking about?” the man named George asked in a bewildered tone.

“Beats me, hey, what are you- ahhhm lemmm mm!”

“What, are these things glued on? For god’s sake! Plastic teeth would have done the job!” I said, yanking on the two-inch long “fangs” the guy tried to scare me with earlier. “Ohmygosh, don’t tell me you’re one of those freaks that goes to the dentist to turn their teeth into a real set of fangs. I mean, he did a very nice job and all, but really, now you have to live with them. What girl is ever going to make out with you if she doesn’t want a tongue piercing?”

The man made a face, grabbing my other hand and spitting at the floor. “Christ! What’s your problem? They’re real! I’m a vampire! Don’t you get it? Mortal girls are so-”

“How do you talk with those things?” I interrupted, trying to get another peek inside his mouth.

“What?” He sighed, “They’re not always out…” he opened his mouth to reveal two normal pair of incisors. “See, they’re gone, we can control-“

“Whoa! Is there like a button in your mouth you can push with your tongue to make them retract like that? How’d you do that?”

“As I was saying, mortal girls are so dim-witted. George, please, just let me save the rest of the mortal population from infecting their minds with her stupidity. It will only take a few minutes to kill her.”

“No, it is against the council’s laws to kill her. It is also against our law to tell her we are vampires.” George replied. “We’ll have to charges to face when we return.”
“I have no clue what council you all are talking about. But it’s illegal here in the states too. The two of you can rot immortally in jail.”

George snorted, “We are vampires… we do not abide by the mortal realm’s laws.”

“What do you mean by realm?” I asked suspiciously.

“We don’t live on earth, we live in the underworld.”

“So what… you mean hell?”

“Yes.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “You guys…” I hopped off the bed, “are a wee bit insane…” I began walking towards the staircase.

George turned to Jared, “Jared, we can’t let her leave. She knows too much.”

“We could kill her…” Jared suggested with a grin in his voice.

I turned to glare at him, “Is every answer to your problem killing people? Because you might want to get that checked out sometime soon…”

“We cannot kill her Jared,” George mumbled. “We’ll just have to take her with us.”

“No thanks… I think I’ll pass. I’m not really into warm climates.”

“ Jared, I’m going to call the portal. Subdue the mortal any way possible. Morning is coming, so we need to work quickly.” George told Jared.

“Got it,” Jared nodded, moving toward me.

“And Jared?

“What?”

“No killing.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Jared waved his hand in the air. “Hey, where’d she go?”

By the time Jared had asked this, I was already halfway down the staircase. I always knew high school gym would come in handy some day.