The Diary of Jane

Chapter One

I went home and looked at the journal thing. I opened it and saw 'January 3rd, 2008' written on the top right of the page.
'Dear Diary,
Everyone thinks I'm so perfect now. After what happened last year everything has been so different. Life is just so complicated now. It sucks. I don't know why people think I'm so happy.
Well, that's it for now.
Jane.'
I sighed. She was having troubles. But what was it that happened in 2007?
I heard a knock on the door. "Come in," I said.
I looked at Dream as she walked in. "Oh, hey," I said. I put the diary on my lap and let her walk over to my bed. She sat down and smiled weakly at me.
"SHUT UP ROB!" Mom yelled.
"NO YOU SHUT UP CARRIE!" Dad yelled. I groaned.
"My house?" she asked. "I know you don't like the fighting," Dream said. She smiled at me.
"Please," I said to Dream. "Let me pack real quick. It's not like they'll care," I said. I packed some stuff, and grabbed the diary. I held it to my side as I walked downstairs with Dream. We were walking like ninjas. I slipped by and heard the faint yelling of my evil parents.
"Thank God we're out of the hellhole," I said.
"Me, too," she said. "What's the book?" she asked. She looked at the diary. "Can I read it?"
"No. It's my . . . journal," I said. I sighed at the white lie, but it was necessary. Jane specified it was for me, and no one else. I took a deep breath as we walked on the street to her house.
"Oh . . . okay," Dream said.
I smiled and got in the car. "What model is this?" I asked her. The car looked different from mine, which was, as always, resting in her backyard. Parents threatened to sell it if it was going to sit in ours, and her understanding family gladly accepted to keep it there until I could use it.
"1967," she said. Clearly not the model, but okay. "Dad got it for me. He fixed yours, too."
"Nice," I said appreciatively. "Mine's just a '67 Mustang," I said in an odd tone. I wanted so much to go talk to Brady for some reason. "It's not too late yet. Can we swing by the diner?" I asked. In small towns like this, diner's were a big thing. Especially back in the '50's. So, naturally, we had a diner from the '50's here. And it was still '50's themed. I knew Brady would be there. After all, it was only eight.
"Yeah," Dream said. She got out and someone gave her a shake and fries. I rolled my eyes.
Some people looked at me oddly. They had all heard that Jane let me keep something of hers, and they knew her and I barely talked. I don't think we talked at all, come to think of it. One girl gave me a small smile.
Chin up, stiff upper lip, she mouthed. I nodded at her. It's what we always said in my old version of family.
I rolled my eyes and walked into the diner. I saw Jared behind the cashier. I completely forgot why I came and walked up to Jared.
"Hey," I said weakly to him.
"Hey," he said.
"How are you?" I said. I sat in a spinny chair. It was the red glittery leather stuff with white glittery trimming. I smiled. Something I seemed to do around Jared a lot.
"Oh, I'm good," he said. "You?" he asked me. He leaned on the counter next to the register.
could see the slight hint of pain hidden behind his words. After doing it for so long myself, picking up on it with others wasn't hard. "I've been better," I said to him. "Lots this week. Your sister," I said sadly, "my family." He looked at me oddly. "They're yelling again. My little brother is just frightened. I feel so bad for him," I said to him. I spun around a bit to ease myself, my white-blond hair poofing around me.
"My sister?" he said. His voice had gotten lower and much more serious.
"Her . . . dying," I said. "It's hard for all of us. I still think that I should have been there to help her," I muttered. "But, death comes in and life rambles on. It's how sucky things are on this planet we so graciously call home," I said to home. I sounded so weird half of the time. I was about to spin again, when I slumped a little. I let my violet eyes fall on a jar of money. I started to space out. Some things got hazy while others stayed in perfect view.
"Oh, yeah. That's how me and my mom are. Sometimes we can't handle it. . . ," he said and tailed off. He looked at me funnily.
"You okay?" he asked.
I blinked and shook my head a bit. I looked back up to Jared. "Yeah. Fine," I said. I looked in his blue eyes. They were so odd. Dark blue on the edges and towards the pupil, and they faded into a beautiful light blue. I couldn't lie to those eyes.
"I'm just going through a hard time. My family is tearing apart, I feel alone," I said. I looked to my wrists and saw that a scar was showing. His eyes followed mine.
"She's fine," I barely heard Dream say. "She's just spacing out, watch," she said. "OH MY GOD, ANDY SIXX!" she yelled.
When she yelled I turned around and stared at the door. Nothing. "YOU LYING RACIST HOMOPHOBIC SON OF A BISCUIT EATER!" I yelled at her. I chucked a napkin at her and it fell. I sighed and looked at her.
"If an object flies at you at some point, please don't be surprised," I said to her. I turned back at Jared and smiled lightly.
He gasped. "We all have problems, but that's no need to cut yourself."
After my little freakout, I looked at him. He came around the corner and held my wrist. "Sometimes you do things you regret and the scars just won't wash away," I said to him.
"Really. There's no need. It shows, weakness," he said to me.
I looked at Dream with death in my eyes. She got the memo and skedaddled. I looked at him. "I know it does. And you know how I hate showing weakness. But how can I get it out? How can I let how hurt I am out?" I asked him. I could feel the tears welling up.
"You can always talk to me, Ravyn," he said sympathetically. "You have my number, I'm sure," he said.
I smiled back at him. My hand found his and we sat there a second. After looking in his eyes a bit too long, I looked away and pulled my hand back. "Yeah, I do," I said. "When do you get off? I'm pretty much running away for the night. Might as well hang with you. I'm always with Dream,"I said to him.
He looked down to his watch. "In about ten minutes, actually," he said and smiled, looking back up to me.
"Sweet," I said. "So . . . you want to just hang out then?" I asked hopefully. I couldn't help but feel I should do this. Like Jane's diary had driven me to do this. Maybe she's helping me somehow. Whatever she's doing, if it helps me from leaving Brady and being with Jared, I was all for it.
"Um. . . ." He smiled and raked a hand through his black hair. "Yeah. That'd be cool," he said. He grinned at me.
I cracked my neck and looked around. "Hey. Do you know if Jane kept a diary?" I asked him. I clamped my mouth shut and looked up at him apologetically. I didn't know if I should be mentioning her name yet.
He looked to the ground and sighed. "Um, not that I know of."
I looked around. "Oh," I said.
"Why?" he asked oddly.
"Er, she left me something that mentioned a diary is all," I said. It wasn't a total lie. And thank God I wasn't looking in his eyes or I would have just faltered and died for about ever.
He looked at me and smiled a bit. "I'll help you find one, if you want," he said.
I looked at him and smiled lightly. "It's fine." The clock chimed out nine tunes. Nine. He was off now. "You said we could hang out. So, my good sir, we go," I said and laughed lightly. When I was with Jared like this, everything seemed to be so much better.
"Let's go then, my good friend," he said. He held his arm out for me to link with. I smiled and hooked my arm with his. We walked out, arm in arm, to his car. I could feel eyes on me, and I knew they were Brady's. I didn't care.
He opened the door for me, then he made his way to his side. He got in and smiled at me. "Where do you want to go?" he asked. He turned on the car and pulled out of the parking lot.
"To the park," I said.
"To the park," he said and smiled. He started singing about parks. "I like the park," he said. "Do you like the park?"
I laughed. "I love the park. And I am Queen, so you must ask to enter my park," I said and laughed again.
"On the road again, I can't wait to get on the road again," I sang.
"But what if im the king of the park?" He looked at me "And that means you have to ask to enter my park." He stuck his tongue out at me. He stopped the car and walked over to my side and opened my door.
"But in England women rule, and I'm English. So there," I said and smiled and stuck my tongue out to him. He opened my door and held his hand out like a good little servant. I giggle and took his hand and he pulled me up. "We shall enter my - our kingdom," I said.
He smiled. "Well, then. My queen, your throne awaits," he said and smiled. "Our thrones are awesome," he said. He sat in the one on the right.
I laughed and took the left 'throne.' I sat down and started to pump my legs. I loved swinging. It made you feel like a child again. And feeling like a child again is the best thing.
"Yep, totally awesome," he said.
"What would you do if I left?" I said. "I mean, the town? Moved away for something else?" I said. I wanted to know. I needed to know. It was like me to be spontaneous, so I knew he wouldn't look too far into it.
He looked at me and almost face planted. "I'd be really sad," he said seriously.
"So you do really care," I said to him. I looked at him and stared into his eyes.
He nodded and said, "Yes, a lot." He looked at the ground. His words were soft and full of meaning.
"But why do you care about me? I'm just another person," I said to him.
"Because you're funny, random, and you're cool," he said.
I smiled at him. "I'm lucky you're my friend," I said. I wanted so much to call him more, but right now I couldn't do that just yet. It was sad, but I couldn't.
He shook his head. "No. I'm lucky you're my friend," he said, smiling.
I smiled. Like I had earlier, I reached out and grabbed his hand. I subconsciously twined our fingers together. "I lo. . . ," I said, but stopped.
"You lo?" he said, prompting me.
"I was going to say I lov. . . ," I said. I couldn't finish the sentence. Something in the back of my throat kept stopping me. I looked deep in his eyes. Jared had been there for me forever. He understood me better than anyone did. He was more my boyfriend than Brady.
I stared into his blue eyes, wanting to say I loved him to him.
"You love me?" he said. His eyes were hopeful.
I nodded and leaned in a bit closer to him. He looked at me
"Ravyne," he said, pulling back. "You have a boyfriend. 'Member, Brady?" he said. He let my hand drop and he looked away, sighing.
I pulled back and looked to the barkdust on the ground. I shoved up. "Yeah. Sadly," I said. I walked away and into the trees that surrounded the park. Tears fell and hit the ground violently. I stopped when I came to the tree. I climbed up it and sat in the middle branch. I sighed and sat there and cried.
I grabbed my Walkman and listened to music. I let my legs hang over the edge. I pumped them back and forth, as if I was swinging on the branch. Like it was attached to the clouds by two pieces of string. Like it would rock back and forth for me on my whim. Like I owned the world.
I felt something touch my shoe. I looked down and saw a familiar face. It was Miranda. I stopped Last to Know and looked to her. I pulled out my earbuds and wrapped the cord around the Walkman. I jumped down and landed in front of her.
"Hi," I said.
"It's been five hours since you left Jared. Why were you here?" she said in a motherly tone.
"I was sad. Why else?" I asked. I turned around. My white-blond hair circled me as I began to walk.
"Better reason, please, Ravyne," she said as she caught up to me.
"I was sad and depressed and I couldn't go back to my 'home,' "I said to her.
"I understand, but -" She looked at me and stopped me. "But, Ravyne, he was worried sick. I was worried. Why didn't you call me or Dream? Or even Brady? Why?" she said.
"My cellphone is at home," I said to her.
"Bring it with you next time. I don't want to have to go looking for you and find you dead and mangled," she said to me. "Now, you have to get home. Rob and Carrie are calling everyone worried about you. I know you hate it and don't start. You are going to your supposed home."
She pushed me along.
I got there and slammed the door shut. "Where were you?!" Mom yelled.
"The park, where else?" I spat.
I ran up the stairs. I sat on my bed and looked at the diary. I flipped through and read the entries. She was going through the roughest time. Why had she left me her diary? Of all things to leave a stranger, she leaves her diary.
"BED!" Mom called.
"Screw you," I whispered. "OKAY!" I yelled back. I put the diary in the top drawer in the secret compartment. No need for parental snooping, right? I got in my bed and sighed. It felt like someone was sitting on the chair near my mirror. But because I got that odd ghost feeling all the time, I shook it off and fell asleep.
* * *
I woke up and looked around. Normality was back. I got ready for school. I played my music loud in my ears. It was the radio right now. And Down Radio by Rage Against The Machine was playing. I nodded my head to the beat and walked to the bus where Dream, Jared, Brady, and Kane would meet me. Jane would have been here to about a week ago.