My Demons (Darkness and Flames)

I had them leaving me alone. They have come back as strong as ever now. My demons. Those wretched things that tear at me from the inside. I'm covered in scratches, bruises, and blood. I feel like I'm falling apart again and my heart hurts. The headaches won't stop and neither will the tears. I'm overcome by my senses and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm mad, I know this, but I can't stand insanity. I feel bad about complaining about it...what is this now? I can't help but think that everyone is talking about me behind my back. All the laughs and giggles, I know they're for me. I can't figure out what it is I did...but I hope sincerely that it was worth it. I don't feel okay anymore...my stomach is churning. I feel so very alone. I'm tired of this hell. I have desires...but nobody is there for me. Now my desires turn to dust and then they become darker. I am a monster...truthfully, that's what I was from the start. I don't feel like everyone else does...I don't feel the pain...or is that just the opposite: that I feel nothing but it. Whichever it is, it's not important. I'm not important. Nobody remembers my name and they don't understand me. I am filled with hatred, sadness, and regrets. I have things to look forward to. But what's the point? There's always something that goes wrong...nothing loves me. Not people, fate, time, or happiness. I want everything to be okay...but I'm alone. Nobody to hold me or tell me it's okay. It's always been this way. My raging jealousy of those who are fortunate enough to be loved. What is wrong with me? They are blind, cannot see. This is not how I want to be...