The Ugly Dead

There are several things that can make a man crumble to his knees. Getting hit in the crotch is one. But what about hearing the love of your life has died? Yes, this made Jonathon Henry crumble to his knees, upon hearing the news. Jenna Cuthrow was her name, the one he had loved, and a deadly car crash had taken her away from him.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

10:48 pm

As the nurse pulled the plug that terminated Jenna’s life, Jonathon did nothing. There were no tears, no pain, and no regrets. There was only a gap that opened inside him, taking away everything he had, and replacing it with nothing. Emptiness. Pure, lonely emptiness. It consumed him. It had started consuming him when he received the phone call that his girlfriend had been in a car accident and that she was in a coma trying to resurface in the hospital, and then it just kept eating away at him as her condition worsened. The final straw was when the plug was pulled, and he watched as the breath of life left her body, leaving him completely and utterly alone. He had nothing, he realized. Well, not much. He had no family, a crummy job at Wal-mart and very loud roommate that kept him up all night with his partying, in their old, worn-out two-bedroom apartment. But he had always known that when he was feeling lonely, or his boss had given him a hard time at work, or if his roommate wouldn’t shut the hell up, that her door would be open for him. He could nestle in her bed and they would talk all night, until they fell asleep.

But in room C65, Scarborough General Hospital, as the nurse pulled Jenna’s plug, she didn’t realize that by doing so, Jonathon would shortly follow the same path.

10:58 pm

“Sir?”

A moment passed.

“Sir?”

Jonathon was vaguely aware that someone was speaking to him. He regarded it as simply a far away voice that didn’t seem to matter. He didn’t turn to face the voice, he merely replied with a small, faint noise.

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry sir, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave the room.” The voice was soft, female, and unfamiliar.

“Is there anyone you can call? A family member or maybe a friend?” the women asked. But the women’s words fell upon deaf ears. Silence followed.

“Sir? Are you listening to me?” the women said again. Jonathon said nothing, and simply continued to stare at the spot where Jenna had died. There was no chance to say goodbye, he finally realized. There was the accident, and then she was in the hospital, never to wake up again, as it turned out.

“Sir!” Jonathon could hear the annoying women’s voice again, and turned to shush her away.

“Look Miss,” he began, but was cut off.

“No Sir, please, I’m going to have to ask you to leave this room. We need it for another patient,” she said. That seemed to jolt him awake.

“Another patient…” he said, his voice trailing off.

“Yes, I’m sorry, but you should get a ride home from someone.”

“Another… patient… So that’s it? You pull the plug on someone. A person. Someone with a future… hopes… dreams… ambitions. And then you just move on to the next one like it doesn’t even matter?” There was a short pause, as the nurse’s expression changed into something unrecognizable. Inhuman, he thought.

“Now listen, you BITCH!” he could feel rage working its way through him now, and decided it was better than feeling nothing.

“Sir! Leave! Don’t make me call security!” the woman said, backing away, looking fearful.

“There’s no need! I was leaving anyway!” he yelled, and ran from the room, exited the building, and kept running once out on the street.

12:23 am

He stopped running. He realized how hard his heart was beating and collapsed on the ground lying face up. But he had reached his destination and that was all that mattered. It was a park, with steep bluffs surrounding the grassy wide space. After a minute, his heart rate seemed to decrease and he could manage to get large breaths traveling through his lungs. Then Jonathon stood up and headed towards the empty children’s play park, near him.

He remembered the day he and Jenna had met. Jenna had been playing around with some other small friends and he had been slowly swinging on the swing set, all alone. Then she had come up to him, and asked if he wanted to play with them. He had shyly accepted.

Now, a 17-year-old Jonathon sat on the swing and starred out at the rest on the park. There wasn’t much to see in the dark, just the faint outlines of various monkey bars and teeter-totters.

His thoughts trailed to Jenna again. She wasn’t dead. All facts and all the people in the world could say she was gone, but he wouldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe it. It was just too much to accept and deal with. But tears endlessly ran down his cheeks, he realized that he couldn’t manage to convince himself of this. It seemed that his rage had turned into misery, and this time he decided that feeling nothing was better than feeling misery.

12:33 am

“Jonathon…” There was a faint whisper. It seemed the circle the empty playground like a gust of wind.

“Jonathon…” The whisper came again.

Jonathon looked up from where he was slumped over, still in the swing seat. His face and shirt were wet, but he barely noticed. The voice… it had sounded like… his thoughts were cut off.

“Jonathon.”

And then she appeared. It was Jenna. She was there, standing in front of him clear as day. He looked her over and saw a beautiful girl with long brown hair, green eyes, high cheekbones, and tall build. He looked at her in disbelief. This couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible.

“I… How…” he began to say, but stopped.

“Relax, Jonathon. It’s me. Jenna. But I’m dead, remember?” she said to the point, looking very serious.

He slowly nodded, grimacing as she said it.

“And I know your upset Jonathon. But you don’t have to feel this way,” she said, stepping closer to him. He suddenly reached up to hold her, but she put up a hand to stop him.

“We can’t touch. You’re the only one that can see me.” His head was spinning.

“But… You’re… Gone,” he said grimacing again.

“Yes Jonathon, I don’t belong in your world anymore. It was risky coming to see you. But I had to do it,” she replied, her bright eyes starring into his.

“I can’t be without you Jenna. I will never stop feeling this way as long as you’re gone from my life,” he tried to explain. “You’re all I have in this life Jenna! Without you there’s no reason to-” he broke off.

There was a long silence as Jenna seemed to consider what he had just said. Then a slight grin touched her face. It was there for a moment, but then disappeared as quickly as it came.

“As I said before, you don’t have to feel this way,” was her only response.

Jonathon frowned with confusion.

“But how…” he began, but stopped once he saw her eyes flicker to something behind him. He slowly turned his head to see the wide empty field. He didn’t understand.

“What are you…” he said, whipping his head back around and starring at Jenna

“I know it isn’t pleasant, but if you do…” her voice trailed off.

“If I do what? What are you saying?” he asked, more confused then ever.

“Look again Jonathon, but this time… look beyond the field.”

He nodded, and slowly turned back. His eyes searched beyond the field and finally rested at… the Cliffside. His eyes widened as realization came to him.

“You want me to-“ he started, but he was cut off.

“Jonathon we could be together! Forever! And the pain would… stop…” she explained.

12:38 am

“It’s a long way down,” he said shakily, as he stood at the top of the cliff. Moonlight shown on the large waves below that was Lake Ontario. Jonathon had always enjoyed coming here and looking at the beautiful waters in the daytime. But now, his surroundings looked dangerous and hostile.

“Please Jonathon! Do it for me!” Jenna exclaimed. He could see determination in her eyes now as she talked.

“And we would be together… you and I?” he asked quietly.

“Yes… we could be together, forever! I don’t want to be alone, and neither do you! We need each other. It’s like you said, you have nothing else in this world, and I have nothing in mine,” she said.

Once again Jonathon thought. He decided he wouldn’t be leaving behind much. And no one would really notice his absence. The only person that would, was dead now. If this was the only way for them to be together, then he decided that it was worth it.

Jonathon considered this for a while.

“Al- Alright,” he said shakily.

Jenna smiled.

“Good. I’ll be waiting for you,” she said, and then disappeared.

He began to back up. He was going to do this. He needed to do this for both of them. He began to run and once he started, he felt more alive then he ever had in his short life. Only the thought of Jenna seemed to run through his mind as he plunged to his watery grave, leaving everything he ever knew behind.

Because you see, Jonathon never got a chance to let go.

Then End.