Motive: Chapter 2

Slate, Meir Johann English 12



A clean slate, if only that were possible;



to run hard and fast away and leave everything in the past behind. 



This colorless life seeps its cold blood back into my reality.



Repaint it with a new wash, a new color over top,



and it manipulates itself again until it’s  but a dull gray.







A plain morning with the same blue sky and clouds that rise high welcomes itself to a new day. The light shifts itself over time into the crack of the musty beige curtains which hang slightly drooped to one side. The neglected pole which supported the curtains was rusty, old and newly damaged.  The curtains framed a large window which held the most power in the unsettling large room. The room was rounded and seemed to be split into various portions. One side held a small TV, a reasonably sized couch and various games on top of a brown pattern rug, decorating the area in a unique taste. Beside the TV was a wooden desk with papers scattered over top accompanied by a couple of pens. Poetry in Times New Roman font peeps over the edge. An overfilled trash can sat comfortably beside and  on the other wall held a rather small bed which looked out of place in the vast room. Blankets, pillows and cushions were strewn off the bed and over the floor. Half a boy’s body spread across the sheets that still remained in its place. The other half of him hung freely over the edge but it did not disturb his peaceful sleep. The light which constantly moves changed its place from the olive green walls down till it reached his ivory face. There it lay, waiting until the boy would flutter his eyelids and blink lazily at the pestering sun.

         

“Meir!”



         He woke with a start, slipping his head from the night table where it rested and losing his balance.  His eyes flew open and his arms stretched out towards the ground catching him before he could fall. Easily he turned his body over into a somersault and landed in the bundle of pillows just as the door slammed open. The small brown haired child who stood in the doorway breathed heavily and stared open mouthed at the other.



         “What the hell was that?” he exclaimed in a high voice.



         “What the hell are you doing in my room?” replied the older one, now sitting up and pushing his hair back with his hand. “Did I not tell you to knock before you enter?”



         “You’re still sleeping? But you’re supposed to take me to school!” The small boy charged in despite his brother’s protests and made his way into the open closet.  Some sounds emanated inside and Meir struggled to get up but fell back onto the bed from a sudden head rush.



         “Get out of there!”



         “But you have to take me to school now!”  The child came out carrying a bundle of books and a bag in his arms. “I have to be there in less than 15 minutes!”



         Meir stood up and strode quickly to the boy, grabbing his items out of his arms in one swift movement and throwing them back into the closet.  “Ok, just get out now.” He shoved the boy harshly through the entrance and shut the door, pressing his back against the flat white surface.  The light had found its way back to its objective as it lit up his entire face. Nothing could hide from its search, the lines and brightness of his complexion was thoroughly visible. He let out a breath of relief at the sudden quietness which slowly filled up the room. His weight fell back into the door and slowly, he slid down until he was firmly on the ground. His hand went through pushing the tangles of burgundy hair again before his head fell. His hand reached out to where the bag of books fell and he pulled it close, shifting through it until his hand grasped the item. The slightly worn out piece of paper was removed and put into the pockets of a black rough hidden shirt behind his pj's.





         The chill air was crisp and crumbled with movement on the November morning. Big billows of white expanded with every breath exhaled. The morning was delightfully gray and marked the every day of autumn. A house that stood bold and immense owned the land with its presence. Its length stretch far until it was hidden amongst the tall dark green hedges that bordered the grounds. The bricks making up the building were dark copper and browned with age.  Strange whispery fog made a sudden appearance and grabbed hold onto the surroundings just as the big wooden doors opened with a loud crack. A tall and lean male figure stepped out onto the porch with his back still facing the entrance and few seconds later a second figure joined him. The latter was small in size already but was even more pronounced when the two were compared. They made their way through the twirling mist, pushing it aside with their actions and descended the stone steps, through the foreboding gates and stepped onto the vacant street. The long road was  empty with no signs of life but the distant calls of birds. The older boy reached into the pockets of his long black peacoat and pulled out slim silver cellular phone of the latest style. With quick motions, he dialed and walked down the street, away from the younger boy for privacy. The little one crossed is arms in ill temper and ran to invade his sibling.



         “No, I require no transportation for today.” The little boy caught his brother speaking lowly. The reply from the other line was soft and muffled from the distance but he could make out the familiar voice of his house butler.



         “The young master has acquired a different ride? Is it safe to assume that you have permission from the mistress?”



         “Thank you for your services, Sebastian,” he responded quickly and slipping it back into his coat.



         “Why don’t we need a ride?” demanded the small boy.  The sudden volume caused a flock of crows nearby to swarm into the air. Meir turned to face him with a hard look in his eyes and grabbed his shoulder with one hand.



         “You wanted a ride with me didn’t you? As long as you get to school its fine isn’t it?” He let go of the boy with a small shove back. The little boy stumbled and tripped over his own shoes causing him to land on the hard pebbled ground; he cried in shock and pain. An old worn out van turned the corner into their street and drove straight towards them. Meir turned away from the boy and walked in its direction; his hand sprawled through his hair and ruffled the curls which whirled in the wind. The van screeched to a stop just a foot from him with a turn and the driver seat window pulled down.



         He conversed with the driver for awhile and smiled. He then turned back to the boy who still sat on the ground rubbing his sore hands that were scratched from the fall.



         “Get up, we’re leaving.”



         “In that?” the other replied in disgust and wrinkled his brow. “I’m not going anywhere until Sebastian comes here.”



         “Go call Sebastian then,” Meir said as he climbed into the passenger seat. The door slammed shut and the engine roared to life. Frightened of being left behind, the little boy scrambled up and ran to the van as it was backing up and banged on the door with his fists.



         “Meir, I don’t have a phone, let me in please!” The passenger windowed lowered down a crack.



         “Get in, the door is open and don’t talk until you get out of the car again,” was his kind response.



         Upset and confused by this sudden predicament, the little one had no choice but to climb in quietly in case of being left on the street and having to go back into the mansion where his mothers harsh questions waited to interrogate him. He was muted throughout the whole ride but it did not stop him from sneaking little glances at the unknown driver. It was difficult to see anything from the back seat but a little glimpse of dirty blonde hair and a peach complexion from the side of his face. The driver was not very tall so he could scarcely see him over the driver’s seat and presumed him to be of low class and overall worthless. He tilted his head to rest on the window and stared out quietly, barely looking at the scenery outside.



         “And so, you decided to rebel by not getting your regular chauffeur to drive you to school but making me your newest employee.” A feminine voice broke the silence and surprising the boy, his nodding to sleep broke and he sat up straight looking around for the speaker. She laughed softly and spoke again, “You know, if I end up late for my first day, I really will have to punish you, young master,” she added with a hint of sarcasm.



         “Punish me?” Meir questioned with a sly smile on his lips, addressing the driver, “and really how will you manage that?”



         “Oh, I have my ways.”

         

                “Such as?” he ventured.



         “Such as kidnapping your adorable little brother,” she replied with a quick nod towards the back direction. Meir's head slightly turned so that his eyes met with his brother. The gaze lasted less than two seconds before he looked away.



         “Take him, please, he's been getting on my nerves lately. A little fear might do some good on him,”

She gave a small chuckle as they turned into the entrance of his high school, dodging the young drivers in their new vehicles and finding a good place to stop and let her passengers off.



         “You are very cruel. I'm sure he's not all that bad, he's even kind of cute.” She looked behind her and gave the small boy a smile. The boy quickly turned away with contempt and a small scoff.



         “Hey, look,” Meir interjected, turning his whole body towards the back, “Speak respectively to your elders,”



         “She's nothing but a chauffeur, why do I have to respect her? Worthless low life,” the boy spat.



         “You stupid little brat!” Meir exclaimed, he pulled himself over with his arms to get a better aim at his brother but the girl held him back with a hand on his shoulder.



         “Hey, it's alright,” she smiled, “You know he kind of reminds me of you back in the day.”



         He stared at her in disbelief before looking back at the small boy. His head slowly shook.



         “Jonah, Kari is taking you to school. I'm getting off here, so behave yourself.” The seat belt went undone as he slipped his finger quickly over the button and pulled open the door.



         “Wait! I'm not staying here another moment, I'm telling mother!” The small boy whined restlessly. He quickly released his own seat belt which was fastened over his body and attempted to open the door.



         “Sorry kid, but there's safe-lock. Just have a little fun. You must hate being stuck with only the right type of people,” Meir smiled kindly. His head shook the ringlets of mahogany hair from his eyes before looking back up at Kari. “You know his school right?”



         “Yes, I do. It's on the way to my university. We'll have some great times,” she answered. “What do you say, Jonah?”



         “I wouldn't even let my dog accompany you let alone myself. Meir, take me to Sebastian now.”



         Meir got out of the car with fluid movement and quickly paced to the back. He yanked open the door to face the boy, “I don't know what you're thinking. Your proper etiquette lessons should have taught you to respect your elders, especially when they're one of my close companions.” He yanked the boy roughly from the chair by the shoulder and shook him, “You're merely the second son, don't forget that.”



         “Meir!” Kari exclaimed, “What are you saying? Just get to school already.” She took a hold of the wheel, in an angry gesture and her other hand waved him away



         He gave a dry smile, “If only it were the truth hey?”



         “You were being a dick,” she retorted.



         His hands went up into the air in a mock surrender, “Just kidding, don't bust me cop.” Meir gave another sarcastic laugh and glanced coldly back at the boy. The dislike clearly reflected from his eyes, and Kari let out a sigh. He slammed the back door of the truck with a big swing, and with still both hands in the air walked backwards towards the curve, winking at her on his way. The anxiety showed in her throaty laugh and she sneaked a quick look back from the mirror. The boy sat unhappily, tightly in the corner of the seat. His eyes were downcast, and foggy. The comment seemed to mean a lot to him. The green eyes lifted and quickly met hers, she glanced away.



         “So,” she started nervously. Kari didn't know what to expect from the boy, all she knew was that he was Meir's younger brother. Meir rarely mentioned his family members, always keeping it a far away topic. It made him uneasy, she could feel it. From the way his eyes never kept still, and his breathing became rougher. The reason though, she would never know. It was a taboo to ask, or to even mention.



         “He hates me,” a small muffled sounded from the back. She quickly looked away from the road and glanced over her shoulder to see the boy look shrunken and smaller than he was, with his arms over his mouth. His eyes were glazed with ice, and she felt a shiver. The windows came up with a press  of a button.



         “I'm sorry, what?” She kindly asked.



         “He hates me!”









         “Meir stepped onto the curb that led onto the schools property. He watched silently as the old yellow truck sped down the lane and turned the corner before turned to face the school. With hands in his pockets, and his headphones securely around his head, he made his way towards the great Iron gates that held the great white marbled walls together in a binding state. A sigh escaped him and flew through the wind.



         It was still cold, but the fog had cleared up, making his visibility better and he watched the crows peck at a poor forgotten bird on the ground. It was still early, with the sun barely up and already concealed behind a thick veil of clouds. The clouds would break every now and then, Meir noticed. He stopped a while away from the gates besides a tall oak tree and gazed up toward the skies. His hands reached up and his fingers spread. He squinted towards the sun. Something caught in the corner of his eye and he turned back towards the building. Her hair was long and blew in waves with the wind. The pitch black shade of it had caught his eye and he watched with slight interested. She leaned against the iron gate and stared blankly onto the streets in front of her, as if lost in thought while waiting for something.



         The school year had begun a little less than a week ago. His mother in attempt to bond the two brothers together, made it his duty to take his brother to school each morning. Because of his brother's unusual school time, the early morning arrivals became a comforting part of Meir's life. It gave him quiet time away from expectations, and away from his family. He was surprised that there would be somebody here before him, and he glanced down quickly at his watch.



         6:47



         His eyes quickly scanned over the girl again, noting her oriental features and clothing. She wore a hooded black jacket over a white blouse and a short chocolate brown skirt with tights. The brand label stood out as high quality and he wondered about her background. As quickly as his interest came, it faded. The music  changed to a favorite, and his fingers quickly slid over the mp3 player, turning up the volume and letting himself be engulfed.





         The students that began to trickle in through the gates now came in a rush. Hundreds hurrying in to avoid being marked upon, all with the same facial expressions. Meir stepped away from the oak tree he had been resting on and began to make his way to the doors himself. As he passed through, he looked to his left. The girl was gone.





         “Now, in saying  that controlling your emotions is simple and is in response to your element of judgment and decision making abilities; the prefrontal cortex is not fully developed until a person is over the age of 20. Which explains why children are given to tantrums,” The tall man spun around away from the board to face his class. He gave a broad grin and pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose before continuing, “And of course why teenagers tend to be more impulsive in their behavior and actions.”



         A student raises her hand and leans forward, eager to display her question. Meir sits further back in his chair with arms crossed, observing.



         “I of course understand the impulsive behavior of adolescents, but that doesn't answer why the rate of murders and violence in result of anger issues are higher in percentage with adults.”



         “Ah, well that is the key. Teenagers may be impulsive, but they are not sure about themselves yet in order to fully commit a crime. Emotional control also varies from person to person. Some always explode when they're angry and the message to 'calm down' from the cortex may be too weak to modify the amygdala's immediate emotional response.”



         “A moderate degree of emotional arousal can sharpen awareness and improve performance to such a length that even we cannot determine yet. But excessively powerful emotions lead to a loss of mental focus, and as a result, we're faced with actions we would never have thought would occur.” The teacher concluded as he looked once more around his class room.



         The students sat in high rounded benches that gave them full view of the room and what was going on below. The wall opposite of the benches held a large green chalk board, a white screen and a fairly big cork board which held many diagrams and models.



         “Is there any possible chance to control these emotions at will? To be able to use the power of sharpened awareness and improve performances without the mental instability?”



         “With any great power, comes great consequences. I don't think we will ever be able to fully control the extent of our power that comes from emotions. Emotions take you by surprise when they come, driven by how you think and your own morals and values. “ The teacher answered the question. He glanced around the room for the speaker, “who asked that by the way?”



         Meir raised his hand slowly and spoke with the same flat tone as his question, “It was me professor.”



         “Ah, Johann, how great of you to take part in my class again,” exclaimed the teacher in a suddenly bright voice, he strode through seats until he face Meir.



         “Forgive me for my absences, I had urgent business during this time these days,” he replied, reaching out  to rearrange his papers.



         “No need for apologies here, I understand your position. The principal has recently told me about your acceptance to Oxford, with full scholarship no less! Congratulations!” The teacher spread his arms out and beckoned to the rest of the class, “We should all follow Mr. Johann's example!”



         “Thank you, I am greatly flattered,” Meir spoke again, he gave a smile but a hardness crept behind his eyes. He glanced towards his fellow classmates as they looked at him in awe. Only one student paid no heed to the announcement. He sat across the room with his head down on his desk and his papers scattered everywhere. His black spiky hair and silver hoop earring brought an interest to Meir. The teacher followed his gaze.



         “Mr. Costa, please wake up and pay attention to class,” he shouted across the room, “Nick could you  tap him on the shoulder. This time is not for sleeping, exams are only a month away!”



         The addressed student shook the raven haired boy away from his slumber. He lifted his head groggily and blinked a few times before looking around. Meir caught his eyes as they looked his way, blue with green and gold flecks. Such an outstanding color in contrast to his deep golden tan. Meir briefly wondered about the boy's ethnicity.



         “Mr. Costa, what were you doing last night that you couldn't get enough sleep in your own home?” The authority figure questioned with hardness in his eyes. He would no doubt punish the boy despite what excuse the other came up with, Meir thought.



         The raven haired looked back at the teacher, his mouth inching up in the corner as he spoke, “I was out fucking girls all night. Sorry but business's been booming with Christmas season nearing and all.”





         The class gave a uniform gasp at the response and abruptly burst into laughter. The boy sat up with a grin on his face that neither looked foolish or obnoxious. He was radiant, observed Meir. Radiant in a way that seemed to own the whole classroom. Meir felt a pang of envy and anger spark.



         “What a joke, like anyone would bother sleeping with a brainless fool like you.”



         “Oh, I didn't know that the Great Mr. Johann would ever bother responding to me,” remarked the boy, “So you finally speak, I guess sleeping around does have its perks.”



         Taken back, Meir realized he did break his composure. Never in his life would he bother reprimanding such a person. What made him speak? The class seemed to also

take this comment to heart, and was now fully interested. They all leaned forward in their seats to get a better view of the two.



         “Don't get me wrong, I just have a hard time believing anybody would ever want you,” replied Meir.



         Ice crossed the ravens eyes and Meir felt a slight tremor run through his body as he stared into the blue so far away from him.



         “Is it so hard to believe?” He stood up from where he sat, showing off his height, broad shoulders and perfect build. His nose was tall and eyes were wide. His eyebrows arched beautifully and his full lips almost looked like a woman's.



         Meir let a smile loose, entertained by the series of events, “Unfortunately for you, I'm not gay.”



         “Mr. Costa, sit down at once. I won't have any more disruptions in my class. And Mr. Johann, how strange of you to lead on such a meaningless conversation,” the professor bustled around, after fully recovering from the shock of the conversation. “Everybody pack up your things, class is ending, and you two see me after class.”

The bell rung as soon as the teacher finished speaking and the students began to stand, packing away their things. Every now and then, one fellow classmate would glance  towards the raven haired or Meir, but nobody was brave enough to approach them. Meir could see the girls lusting after the features of the ravens and he looked away in disgust. He didn't bother to pack, his papers were already organized and he sat until the last of the students went away. The classroom went silent, and his eyes wandered over to where his opponent sat. Once again, the boy's head was in his arms on top of his desk.



         “Mr. Costa,” called the professor. The boy looked up and shook his hair from his eyes. He slid his gaze over to Meir and Meir looked away.



         “I have heard unpleasant rumors that I try hard not to believe about you, but after hearing today's comment my suspicions  have become more pronounced.



         Rumors? What rumors? Meir looked back at the boy to see him yawning with detachment.



         “Rumors are shit, I thought you teachers would know all that,” he commented in an off tone.



         “Mr. Costa, you will speak to me properly, and no offensive words will be used, or else I will have to send you to the office,” the professor narrowed his eyes as he spoke.



         “Ah, got it. Sorry, I'm getting into a habit, but it's just a result of my job, ya know?” He puts his palm forward as if it all made total sense. Meir couldn't hold it in any longer, his composure broke and he gave a loud laugh. His arms held onto his stomach as he fell back over his seat. The teacher suddenly didn't know what to do, as he glanced between the two boys.



         “Hey look, I made the statue laugh, do I get a prize?” interjected the raven, causing Meir to laugh even harder.



         The teachers face twisted in embarrassment and frustration, “That's it, both of you leave now, get out of my face. I'll be speaking to the principle about you Costa, and you can forget about attending my class from now on!”



         “That's great ya? No more classes with the man who keeps a stick permanently lodged up his ass crack,” Costa smiled, “see you later,”



         Meir watched as the raven haired left after he gave the teacher a salute and began to step down from his bench. He reached the ground and stared at the teacher, waiting for any indication of a lecture. The teacher shook his head.



         “Mr. Johann, I'm highly disappointed in you. I thought you would be able to keep your composure in situations like that. What made you spark?”



         “Forgive me Professor, he just seemed ridiculous and I couldn't help being reminded of the comedian I had watched a few years back. I believe my behavior was inappropriate and I promise I won't repeat my mistakes twice.” Meir looked straight into his eyes and spoke in a monotone voice. He shifted his bag up his shoulder.



         “Yes, I know you well, and I'm sure you won't disappoint me again. Well now, off to break with you, and I'm looking forward to your paper tomorrow,” the teacher concluded. Meir gave a humorous smile, they were all so easy to fool. Just say what they want to hear and you can get away with anything. Meir headed for the door and went through; he met with an unexpected surprised.



         Outside waiting for him was the raven haired boy, leaning against the wall and giving him a smirk. He pushed himself off with his hand and stood in front of Meir, blocking his way. Meir noted his obvious height, approximately 6'6 and definitely taller than him.



         “Meir Johann,” called out the raven in a deep voice. Meir tried to push past him, but he stood his ground.



         “Hey, wouldn't a rich boy like you know proper manners. It's rude to avoid somebody who's already addressed you,” he continued in a harder tone.



         “I have no reason to speak with you,  and likewise, you have no reason to speak to me. So please, move out of my way.”



         “The name's Afiro Costa,” he said with a smile, “Or otherwise known as Fear.”