Dreams

Dreams

I see him there.
My angel of shadows, waiting in the dark.
Pacing he looks for me as I try not to see him.
Does he know? can he feel my terror?

I felt it, the pain of my heart missing a beat.
I teetered upon the edge of the abyss.
this is it I believed, the end of all feeling.
The numbness spread through me again.
It smiled and reached to me and soothed me to fall.

The abyss fed my tears, and I willingly fed them back.
Take me, I screamed, there is no life here.
The abyss reached with clawed hands for the tattered pieces of my heart.
Shattered and too many to glue together.

My mind came the to cloak me. To pull me back.
As the shards of my broken glass heart ripped my soul clean open.
Gore and blood and pain in that spiritual thing.
It tried to hide in me and wrap around me.
No pain here, it told me.
Ah, but there is pain there, I told it.
Too much I cannot bear it, It cried back.

The world is crumbling and I am dying.

I stand before him now, his eyes looking in me.
Can he see my soul writhing in agony?
The fear is there in his own eyes too.
Perhaps he does feel it, or see it somehow.

Don't leave me, he says, don't go.
My voice has deserted me, my mind is pulling me away.
There is only pain there, remember that pain, stay here.

I won't go, but he hears it not.
Clutching tight, his heart against mine.
Tears come unbidden again and I cannot run this time.
For his arms have become my prison and I cannot escape.
Don't leave me, Don't leave me, it echos in my ear.
You are my only life without you i'd die, my heart pumps to his.
No I won't go, my voice betraying the hurt there.
His very eyes betraying the hurt he caused himself.

His hand in mine we walk together, to warmth from beneath the stars.
Without you i'd die, I hear him say.
You almost killed me tonight, I answer silently back.
Heart against heart, body to mine, we sink in some silent comfort.
I have no words just now my body seems to say, hold me and perhaps they will come.

I love you, he says.
I love you, I say.

The night draws close, and there will be no dreams.