observations in isolation

I could hear the echo of my heartbeat if i could just sit still long enough. My eyes burn, feeling quite alone in the dark of my quiet childhood house. Forgotten so easily by so many people, lost in the shuffle, by way of circumstance and misguided occurrences. Song lyrics and old nicknames circle my thoughts as if on repeat. My memories have become obstructions in the way of everyday thinking. Lately I hear myself speak to others in clips of phrases, feign a smile, but i keep pausing. Funny sometimes how a stranger may noticed my disparate look of reckless need, smile sideways at me with frowning eyes and then continue on. While others around me, people who know me, don't see it. Personal letdown is bitter and you know just the right ways to hurt me. It's easy to place blame when its fixed like a photograph with words around the frame.