Ladies Man

" Breaking news today, young heat throbber Scott Waker just happened by me today. The sexy young man past by me earlier today wearing a black zip up hoody, wearing blue jeans. He is a handsome devil with shaggy brown hair, amazing eyes, and a body that is just to die for!" The new caster, Amanda Bordell, face turned bright red and she smiled like a giddy girl with a crush, then went on with her announcement. " I Followed him closely for several minutes after he rejected my advances an..."

" Well alright Amanda I believe ill cut you off there, haha, this is John Dunheart with the twelve o' clock news and we are going to take a break for a couple minutes, see you in a few."

" THE HELL YOU ARE JOHN! NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME FINISH< THIS IS MY LIFE YOU ARE FUCKING WITH!!!" Amandas' eyes were crazed and furious. They looked almost ready to kill. I watched surprised that this had gone so far. " Now, after I've been so rudely interrupted, I will continue. Scott was last seen in East L.A. near commerce. If should see him call this number 310 524 6788 thank you. And oh yeah if any of you slutty bitches try to take my catch I will break your neck!" From behind me I could he some guy asking if this was some kind of joke. How I only wish it was. Then a woman replied, " Ethan let go of me! This isn't a joke, I have to go find him."

" What the fuck Amy!" Poor Ethan said back confused as all hell. Shit I didn't blame him. I was afraid to look back for fear the girl would see me so I lowered my head a bit letting the hood cover my face. A second later the door to shop burst open and she ran down the street in search of me. On the television a woman confronted Amanda, arguing about whos' man I was. " FUCK YOU BITCH!" Amanda finally cried pulling a gun from her purse. She aimed in at the other womans head and fired with no hesitation. " Ah shit!" I said to myself eyes fixed on the screen. Blood and brains splattered all over the room and all over John Dunheart who was frozen in horror, and astonishment. I think everyone was because it seemed like a whole minute passed by before anyone tried to wrestle the gun away from her. After that the station cut to commercial.

After sitting in silence for what seemed like forever I stupidly looked around. Around me everyone was standing, mostly guys, leaving their coffe and laptops on their tables. The few woman around, which were like four of them, immediately noticed my insignificant movement and locked their sights directly on me. For what seemed like forever we all just looked at each other , my eyes darting from one to the next and so on. There were two young blondes, probably sisters that looked like they were still in high school. One middle aged overweight woman who had short hair and manliesh looking clothes on, I pegged her for a dike not that it mattered now. And the other was another young girl but probably a little older then me her hair was red and she was fairly beautiful, but her eyes were lost in madness and drool dripped from her lips.

Finally the creepshow was getting to me, I needed to run and fast. I took one step back, grabbing a chair behind me, but the girls grew impatient and charged me screaming. The last thing I saw before throwing a chair between me and the crazy bitches was one of the blondes tackling the other and the fat lesbian blowing through the crowd of guys like a line backer. The redhead jumped up on the table, maybe to jump me from above, I think i heard her crash down behind me right as i made it to the door.

I stopped dead in my tracks praying that before me there wasn't a huge group of woman just waiting for me. It was no good because before me there were a shitload of chicks just waiting for me. I felt defeated, like there was nothing I could do, and in my despair I said the dumbest thing that could be said when every girl you see would die to have you... I said " Fuck me..."