thoughts strung along on a leash

My eyes can’t hold the connection with yours, your stare is harsh and judgmental. My movements feel magnified, impacting my life with every shift. Mixed emotions are replaced with a blank cold settling. Impossible to overlook, this ideal need. A wish for something external to seal my mind off of this cycle. We spin along in these circles, obvious problems eternally fixated. I want my mistakes to happen on purpose, control is callously perfect. You have juxtaposed my world, which i hate to say is something i wanted. Sometimes i’m sorry for the messes i make but today it’s very hard to feel these emotions as appropriate. Forgetfulness will contribute to my empty glances, perhaps the answer is all in lust.