Pink Spades: PT4

The next week of school in Tokyo was easier than the last for Ahsaela. Debra had hired a tutor for her to sit in on her classes and translate her homework and notes into English for her. Ahsaela found that when people had told her that to learn a language you had to live in the country to really understand it was true. Every day she had spent in Tokyo so far had taught her much. She occasionally heard herself speaking Japanese to her mother at home. As strange and unfamiliar as Japan was for Ahsaela, she began to love the environment very much.

After a long day of classes, Ahsaela slumped into her bedroom to relax. As she lay in her comfortable bed, she glanced over at her nightstand. The flier that student had given her the week before was lying there, begging for her attention. She snatched the piece of paper into her hand and stared at it for a while. The last day of auditions is tomorrow, she read. If Ahsaela wanted to try out for the band, she would have to decide now.

Debra was encouraging her to audition last week, so isn’t that a good sign? She pondered. Does that mean that her mother was thinking about settling here longer than expected? Will she pull her out of the band if she decides to move again? Will she even make the band in the first place? What if she's not good enough?

Then Ahsaela decided that all the “what if” thinking wasn’t going to make her feel any better about it. Her best bet was to just try out and see what happens. If God wants her to be in this band, then it will happen, she decided. She had way too much homework to do tonight to go audition, so she retrieved her text books from her bag, sat at her desk, and got to work. She had twenty pages of notes about Japan’s history to go over…it was going to be a long night.

The next morning at school, Ahsaela was heading to her next class when she felt a hand grab her shoulder. She turned around to see the Asian girl who had given her the flier about the band auditions. She gave her a weak smile and greeted her in Japanese.

“Konnichiwa, Ahsaela-san!” She exclaimed excitedly. “Why haven’t you come to the auditions yet? I’ve seen every talented student from this school except for you.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stared up at Ahsaela with one raised eyebrow. She sure was persistent.

“I just…haven’t made the time yet,” Ahsaela started. “But I want to, so I’ll be there tonight to audition.” She assured the girl the best she could, as she tried to figure out how she knew her name.

“Good! You better be there! We want to hear every beautiful voice before we make a decision.” She pointed a finger at Ahsaela’s nose as she said this, making It clear that she expected her presence tonight.

“Okay, I’ll see you tonight then.” Ahsaela promised, smiling brightly. Late for class, she darted down the hall way, leaving the girl in her dust. A teacher yelled at her about running in the hall when she passed, but she ignored him; his Japanese babble disappearing with the distance. She felt so elated at that moment. She finally felt like she was fitting in somewhere for once in her life. No one had ever seemed so interested in her talent before. She couldn’t wait to let it all loose and show these people what she was made of.

It didn’t take her long to find the house. She did have to take the train though, which made her a bit nervous. She’d never traveled in a foreign country alone before, so she was paranoid the whole time about getting lost or getting mugged on the way. The train ride took her an hour away from Tokyo, which made her even more nervous. Her palms were sweaty the whole way there and to top it all off, some creepy old Japanese man sat next to her and stared at her the whole way there. He eyed her from head to toe when she got on the train and then moved to sit next to her after she had sat down. She crossed her arms over her chest, still wearing her school uniform, and didn’t take her eyes off the window in front of her.

She could feel his eyes on her though and it annoyed the poo out of her. After about twenty minutes of that, Ahsaela finally turned to him and barked, “What the hell are you gawking at me like that for? That’s so rude!” Her face was twisted with anger when she said it and the man most likely didn’t understand a word of English, but with the way that Ahsaela delivered herself and how she had used her pissed -off facial expression, he didn’t need to know any English at all. He got the hint and moved back to his old seat, far away from her. A nearby teenage boy laughed at the spectacle they had made on the train and smiled at Ahsaela. She was still too pissed off to smile back so she continued to stare out the window.

Ahsaela was so relieved when she found the house. It was a cute, small house, Japanese style of course. It appeared older than the other homes in the neighborhood, but more beautiful at the same time. The garage door was open with a bunch of instruments lying around. Ahsaela poked her head in and found a red-headed girl sitting by herself on a stool. Her back was toward her and she had big fluffy pigtails on the sides of her head.

“Umm…Konnitchiwa.” Ahsaela greeted her timidly. It felt strange for her to have to speak in Japanese. She’d never practiced another language before, until now. The girl gasped loudly and jumped from her stool, obviously startled by Ahsaela’s voice.

“Holy shit, you scared the crap outta me!” She yelled with her hand on her heart. She breathed heavily and stared angrily at Ahsaela for a second. She had the biggest green eyes Ahsaela had ever seen, they were gorgeous. Her red hair swept past her shoulders with long feathery bangs to frame her oval face. Freckles covered her skin everywhere, but they were hardly noticeable until you stood close enough. She had cute, pouty, red lips and a smile to die for. Her white T-shirt was covered in hand-drawn flowers of many colors and she wore ripped up bell bottom jeans. This girl is obviously not Japanese, Ahsaela decided, which excited her because for a while she thought she was the only foreigner in her age group around here.

“I’m not the only American! Yay!” Ahsaela shouted and hugged the girl tightly. The girl didn’t return the hug; she squirmed to get out of it. I had annoyed her by doing that, just great, she thought.

“F. Y. I. I am not American, I am Russian,” she scoffed, holding up her right hand in Ahsaela’s face. “Don’t bunch me in the same group as you, just because I’m white, got it?”

“Jeesh, sorry.” Ahsaela replied. Now that she’d heard her correctly, she did have a bit of an accent.

“You should be sorry! How would you feel if I just came up to you and said, ‘oh my God, it’s an African’?”

“Ouch, guess that would annoy me a little. I’m not African by the way, my mom is African American and my dad is white…er…American.”

“Same goes for Asian people. I mean, Jesus, you’d think educated people would have the sense not to call them all ‘Chinese’ just because of their Asian features. Americans are so rude and dumb!” It was apparent that Ahsaela had hit a sore spot with the issue of ethnicity and decent, and she clearly didn’t like Americans. She made a mental note not to do that again.

“Look, I’m sorry. I actually agree with you about that issue, I just got excited because everyone here is mostly…um…Asian…or…Japanese…whatever.” Ahsaela responded calmly, attempting to cool down the tension in the room.

“Apology accepted. I’m P.M.S-ing right now by the way, so if we happen to talk again, don’t call me American or anyone else that looks like they might be, and don’t talk about by ex-boyfriend Teddy, or talk about how much you hate flowers, because that shit really bothers me!”

“Um…okay, but for the record, I don’t hate flowers.” Ahsaela said, smiling weakly. The girl laughed and pat Ahsaela on her left shoulder and said, “You’re funny! Well anyway, if you’re here for the audition the line starts inside the house. You can go in through the side door in here.” She pointed to a door inside the garage behind her.

“Alright then.” Ahsaela replied meekly. She made her way inside the house and looked around. About twenty or so people stood chattering away, waiting for the auditions to start. Most of them were girls and were dressed like they were trying out for some show called, “Who Wants to Be a Stripper”. They had makeup caked on their faces to the max and their hair done up so well, it look like they had spent hours on it. They wore tight clothes, short skirts, and really high heels. Some of the girls were actually dressed properly, but only a small percentage of them.

The boys in the crowd were all drooling over the stripper girls, of course; trying to outdo one another and impress them with their own physical looks. Some people are so disgusting, Ahsaela thought to herself while she watched them. She found her way to a chair in the sitting room with all the other singers. Some of them stared her down when she entered the room, some of them didn’t. She sat down and smoothed the skirt of her uniform neatly against her thighs and waited patiently.

A minute or so later a girl emerged from one of the other rooms in the house. She seemed almost as tall as Ahsaela was and her appearance was absolutely breathtaking. She had long curly dark hair pulled up into a neat bun behind her head, a long blue skirt that neatly hugged her curves with a loose white spaghetti strap top. Her skin was creamy white and she had the most amazing piercing blue eyes. “I guess it would be dangerous to assume she was American too.” Ahsaela joked to herself. She wore cute dainty ballerina flats to top the whole look off perfectly. Everyone grew silent when she entered the room; it was almost like time had stopped.

The girl began speaking in Japanese to everyone. Ahsaela wasn’t sure what she was saying, but she assumed it was about the auditions. After she spoke people started heading toward the side door to the garage and lined themselves up in front of it. Ahsaela rose slowly from the chair and followed, getting in line behind one of the stripper girls. The girl entered the garage through the side door after that, and left all the singers waiting behind her. A minute later the door opened again and the red-head poked her face between the opening.

“You, come with me.” She barked, pointing a finger at the guy who was first in line. He obediently followed her order and the side door closed after them. From the garage, everyone standing in line could hear the muffled singing. Some of the people waiting chatted away to one another, while others stayed quiet and tried to listen to the singer.

With every minute that passed by, Ahsaela grew more and more anxious. Her stomach turned uncontrollably, as she waited her turn. She felt a little self conscious at the moment and pondered about whether she should back out or not. She knew that she was a decent singer, but she couldn’t stand the possibility that someone in line was more skilled than she. Few things seemed to go right in her life anymore, in her mind. If this audition doesn’t work out, she thought to herself, all hope for her future would be lost.

The way her thought process worked was like this: The fact that she pushed herself to go to this audition, knowing that her mother might make them move again soon, and with the hope that she would be chosen for this band, along with the hope that God would be on her side and create some miracle that would allow her to stay in Japan, if she isn’t chosen for the part; the one thing she asks for herself to have, what’s the point of trying anymore? Ahsaela felt it in her heart that she deserved to be a member of this band. Being a member of the Pink Spades seemed the only way out of her bad dream for now. She wanted more than anything in the world to belong somewhere. For good. Permanently.

When her turn came, the red head made a hand gesture beckoning Ahsaela to follow her into the garage. Her heart raced as she walked cautiously through the side door. There waiting for her were the members of the band. They were all sitting patiently, waiting for the singing to begin once more. Three girls were there, including the red head and the brunette Ahsaela recognized from the other room. The last girl, she realized, was the Asian girl who had handed her the flier at school. The man in the room that stood there with the video camera, she didn’t recognize. He was very beautiful, but too short for her taste. He was Asian as well. Long, blond dreadlocks hung from his handsome face, while he lingered in his spot gazing at Ahsaela with his black and curious eyes.

The brunette spoke first, handing Ahsaela a sheet of paper while she spoke. “Welcome to the home of the Pink Spades. This sheet of paper has the lyrics to a Japanese song we would like you to sing for us. Haro will be recording your entire performance. After you have sung this song, you will have the choice to sing another of your choosing. After your performance, please don’t ask us how well you did or anything else about your audition. The results of our choosing will be posted at school in the lobby next week. That is all the information you will need for now, please begin when you are ready.”

Ahsaela’s hands shook violently with the lyrics resting on her sweaty palms. She was quite surprised that she was being asked to sing in Japanese. She didn’t even fully understand the language yet. Ahsaela knew enough, however, to sound out each word perfectly, whether she knew what the words meant or not. She glanced over the title of the song and who it was by. She smiled calmly to herself when she recognized the artist and the song from listening to the radio occasionally. The song was called “Connected” and was made famous by a popular Japanese singer, Ayumi Hamasaki. Ahsaela realized that they were making her sing a song in Japanese to test her. The Pink Spades probably wrote a lot of their songs in the language she guessed, so naturally, she would have to be able to sing in it if she wanted to get the job.

Suddenly she didn’t’ feel so worried about her performance. She felt excitement. Singing has always been her secret passion in life. This is just the first time she has ever put it to good use. The fact that her voice was finally going to be heard by someone outside of her family for the first time made her body quiver with pleasure she hadn’t felt in such a long time. With ease, she inhaled slowly while closing her eyes, filling her mind with only the most positive of thoughts. She opened them, taking in the people staring at her in the room, and exhaled just as slowly. The words from the page came out of her mouth through her soft, angelic voice, and all negativity left her mind.



Mikakete mitsukete

Misademete iru

Mitsumete midarete

Mitasarete iru demo

Miagete mikakete

Mikurabete iru hora

Mikubiru mitoreru

Mihanasarete’ru

Sou bokura wa arayuru

Subete no basho

De tsunagatte iru kara

Kono kotoba nit suite

Kangaeru kimi to date

Mou sude ni

Aa bokura ga itsu ka eien

No nemuri ni tsuku

Koro made ni

Totteoki no

Kotoba ohatishite

Ikutsu kawaseru no darda?



Ahsaela sang the rest of the song without much effort when she got into her zone. Her spirit felt uplifted, not as heavy as before. When the singing finished, Damien cut the camera and waited for the song of Ahsaela’s choosing. The brunette asked for her to tell which song she would be singing next. Ahsaela answered with much confidence, “ ‘Caged Bird’ by Alicia Keys, one of my favorite songs!” She breathed deeply and belt out the starting notes, getting more aroused by each second that passed.



Right now I feel like a bird

Caged without a key

Everyone comes to stare at me

With so much joy and revelry

They don’t know how I feel inside

Through my smiIe

I cry

They don’t know what they’re doing to me

Keeping me from flying

That’s why I say that

I know why the caged bird sings

The only joy comes from song

She is rare and beautiful to others

Why not just set her free?

To let her fly, fly fly

Spreading her wings and her song

Let her fly, fly, fly

For the whole world to see

Spread wings spread beauty…



Ahsaela noticed the red head’s jaw drop in awe when she finished the song. A bright smile spread across Ahsaela’s face and she bowed her head to her audience to conclude the performance. The brunette opened her mouth to speak and bid Ahsaela goodbye. With a new confidence about her, Ahsaela traveled back home to her mother. She knew that she was going to sleep well this night after having such a wonderful day.