The L Word

Agree or disagree with this little thought as you will as it depends on how one view/treasure the little things in life.

Besides H-A-T-E, L-O-V-E; another powerful four letter word in the English dictionary that can give us inspiration, hope, destruction or the butterfly in the stomach effect. There are people whom you can’t imagine what they’re capable of doing, in the name of love. Lucky and blessed are those who love and be loved in return. We cannot expect or ask someone to love us back that’s’ the truth of it. Reality bites and yes, it is happening. It is difficult to find someone whom you’ll find connection with, will accept and love you for who and what you are. Soul mate or true love is just a fairytale for some people who never experienced or failed to be loved in return. I must say in my personal opinion, that true love and/or soul mate come just once in a blue moon. So, if you found one, don’t let him/her go… hold him/her very close to your heart and treasure the moment together.

Sometimes, we think about changing our negative attitudes, behavior or habits because of love. But you under no circumstances should not (I’ll say it again SHOULD NOT) impose him/her to change for you because he/she might disagree or maybe disguise his/her true personality just to please you. Once we truly love someone, we realize that we need to change to become a better person and to keep him/her in the relationship. If he/she failed to realize that… then, that is a problem. Communication, open minded, patience and honesty play a very important role. It is also important to understand the needs of man and women in general are very different.

Many people find themselves asking this question: “How will you/I know, if he or she is the ONE for you/me?” The answer is so simple it is not the secret of the universe but sometimes we made simple things very complicated.
- If you feel and think that you are happy to be with him/her.
- want to spend the rest of your life with him/her.
- your life is complete because of him/her, etc and he/she feels the same way.
- most importantly does he/she makes you feel comfortable with who you or they really are.

Then those are few of the many signs that you are really made for each other. Sometimes, marriage does not guarantee that you've finally chose "the right one" for you. Love can be deceiving at times due to clouded emotions or judgment base on impulse. LOVE is not enough in a relationship. There must be effort, respect, openness, acceptance, patience and trust, too. One cannot love someone with just a feeling; it is a decision base on rational thinking and self awareness. It is not hard to explain or to attain, but most of the time we are clouded by our hearts and deceive ourselves to think that “this is love” or “true love is impossible”.

Here’s a food for thought for you in your relationship. “Effort”.
- Does he/she make efforts to have your relationship work?

Effort plus quality time together in a relationship are also very crucial.
- Does he/she have an initiative to do something for you?
- Does he/she ever get late or cancel any date without prior notice in advance?
- Does he/she do things half hearted-ly, to just please you or with the fullest effort with sincerity of wanting change to be a better person?

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but you better think twice before falling in love. We can train or teach our heart to love the right person. It is not an impossible task. Is that we are just blinded at times because we are so deeply and madly in love and refuse to see they flaws or the abuse that the so called “loved ones” have done onto us.

Take away the emotional feelings or judgment then love is a decision base on your own individual rational and logical thoughts; it is not and cannot only solely base on feelings. When we feel in love then is call puppy love or lust and one can’t learn to love someone base on feelings because you will fall out of love. Falling in love is not hard. In fact, it is a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You do not have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. But in life there’s always a trade off, a vicious circle in every relationship where by the circle begins with you falling in love with someone happy to be with love ones, then after a while in the relationship when feeling of the excitement of love fades away the feeling of annoyance instead of kicks in, relationship will suffer. At the end of the circle come heart aching breakups, arguments, conflicts, infidelity or worst abuse.

Because, we have our own standards or basis as to what kind of person we're going to love. It means we are aware. We cannot love someone without any reason at all. Is impossible to find the right person to be in love with, but it is possible to learn how to love the person you found.

To answer the question, if he/she is really meant for you, the answer boils down to what you want and need in a relationship and how both you and your partner work together to achieve it. Learning to acknowledge his/her strengths and accepting his/her weaknesses. A good communication in any relationship is vital. And we must remember that love is like a two way street, it must be give and take to have a long lasting relationship. Above all, keep a clear and firm conscious of what are you seeking in a relationship by not letting your heart getting head over heels over someone.