The remorse and guilt of a mother who adopted out her baby |
Oh child of my womb there was no future with me. No home or family - I had to set you free. Loving parents took you in, while I struggled day by day. They gave you love and opportunity, I gave you away. I went back to school, to try to turn my life around. I got a job, bought a house, but love I never found. My sleep was often interspersed by dreams of you at play, or nightmares of you hating me, because I gave you away. With each success I thought about you being at my side. But without the spur of your absence, I never may have tried. Every action has a cost, a price we must pay. The price I paid for my success? I gave you away. One youthful indiscretion, too young to know what to do, on the advice of others, I did what they said was best for you. But I am old and lonely, wealth doesn’t keep the pain at bay. In you, God gave me the key to happiness but I gave you away. Guilt would not let me search. The rejection I could not bare. I was comforted in knowing, your family is full of love and care. Now as I sit in this nursing home, each day I meditate and pray that God and you will forgive me, because I gave you away. |