bleeding inside.

You were my everything, from the moment I took my first breath in this uncareing world. You were the sun I revolved around. You were the eclipsing moon, your shadows burning holes where it touched my heart. Like a moth to a flame you draw me time and again. And in you I have burned a thousand times, now in ecstacy, now in pain...
I  felt possession from the moment you touched me. Your touch like a fire branded on my skin, leaving tongues of licking flames, your caresses, on my skin.
If this is love, then i love you. And My love for you is eternal. Yours for a mere lie. I feel it. you say the words, i touch your lips. you breathe it out, i feel in on my skin. you laugh it away, i hear it ring in my ears. sweet love? but no, not love....just a wish, no soon spoken then died away....
yor ls, yor caress, your eyes, the lie. yo love me not, i know inside...
what then keeps my heart beating, gasping your name? is it love? is it want? is it need?
am i o blind as to lose my self to you, to give you my heart only for it to be trampled on the ground, crushed, and yet still yearning?
yes im stupid..
because if your using me then i want to be used,
if you lie to me i want to believe in your lies.
if being with you means to wither in the agony of pain froma broken heart...
what do these things even mean....it i can but hold to in my arms once more? if i can but hear those sweet lies slip, flow like poison from your tongue? if i can but feel your touch caresses like hot tongue of flame on my bare skin...
what then does my beeding heart hold against this intoxicating pleasure from sin.....