Broken Pieces

What have I done to myself?
I am standing in front of the mirror
Hating who I have become
Why didn't I learn to love myself first?
I should have been my first priority
But instead, I made sure he filled that spot
Ohh yeah he paid the bills
But I paid for it everytime he disrespected me
Yeah I paid them bills with my self-esteem
He claims He loves me
But how can the same person that utters "I love You"
Also utter "I hate you bitch"
Is it me or am I stupid? dumb
This doesnt make sense to me
But I once heard "If this is love, I dont want it anymore"
But those kind words he says makes the pain go away, for now
But when he raises his hand, pain, hurt and all the memories comes back
I loved him so I thought
I wanted to be his wife, so I thought
I wanted to be his number one, so I thought
I wanted to be his main thing, so I thought
But instead I became the side chick
Never became his wife
I became his number two and hell sometimes number three
Main thing wasn't even a thought to him
But what I should have wanted all along was to love me
To make myself my number one
I should made sure I had everything I needed and wanted
To be so in love with myself it hurt
I am done with this SHIT
As I slammed my fist against the mirror and walked out
Leaving someone else to pick up the broken pieces
Yours Truly Ebs