Friendship Part 3

The Winter Holiday Season, 2003

I woke up in my dorm room, but this time, Katrina was nowhere to be seen. I got up groggily, and stumbled out of my room to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I saw that I had a bandage on my head, no doubt as a result of Katrina fixing me up after my fall. I took a deep breath, hoping that Katrina had gotten me out of the auditorium before someone had seen me zone out. I heard footsteps enter my bedroom.

“Morgan?” I heard Katrina’s worried voice call out to me.

“I’m in the bathroom.” I called back.

“I’m sorry I left you alone. I had to go out and get us something to eat. You’ve been out all day.”

“At least it’s a Sunday.” I mused.

Katrina was silent for a long time before answering. “It’s Monday, Morgan. You’ve been out for a good eighteen hours.”

“Shit! What time is it? I need to get to class!” I burst out of the bathroom, and knocked Katrina down with the door unintentionally.

“Ow! What the fuck!” She shrieked.

“Sorry!” I said, helping her up.

“It’s too late for you to go to class. It’s four p.m.”

“Damnit. I’ve never missed a class. Not even once.”

Katrina sighed. “This is my fault. We should have left when you wanted to. I’m sorry. I had no idea this was going to happen to you again.”

I shrugged. “Just listen to me next time. If I need to go, there’s a good reason for it, okay? Thanks for taking me home, by the way.”

“Well, I wasn‘t going to leave you there.” Katrina bit her lip nervously. “Are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital?”

“I’m not crazy!” I snapped. “I know I’m not normal, but I’m not crazy!”

Katrina shut me up by giving me a hug. “I was talking about the bump on your head.”

“Oh.” I told her. I felt stupid when she let me go.

“Again, this is all my fault. I made us a traditional Jamaican meal to help you feel better.”

I raised my eyebrows at her menu. “What do you know about cooking Jamaican food?”

Katrina shrugged. “Not much. Maybe one day you can show me how it’s really done. I had to make do with recipes from my mom.”

I smiled. “Thanks. I can’t remember the last time I’ve eaten Jamaican stuff. I kind of miss it.”

Katrina smiled back. “I think you’ll like everything. Even if I’m not some expert Jamaican cook.”

“Let’s eat.” I said walking into my kitchen. Katrina had brought over a huge pot of oxtail stew, and a smaller pot of peas and rice. “How’d you get all this stuff up here without any help?”

“Well, she had us.” said Les, walking into my apartment with a pot of slightly bitter callaloo greens.

I swallowed hard. I felt a moment of claustrophobic panic. I forced myself to take a deep breath. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself. I’ve never seen anyone sleep as much you do.”

“You‘ve been here the whole time?”

Les rolled her eyes. “How do you think you got home? Me and the band wanted to find out more about you, since your voice was out of this world, and what happens? We find Katrina trying her best to haul your ass out to her car. Jeez, that must have been some Saturday Night you had.” She said with a wink.

I smiled weakly, going along with Les’s assumptions. Stimson and Cox burst through the door with more food: coconut drops and fried dumplings. “Sleeping Beauty is awake!” said Cox.

“God, you sleep like the dead, girl. You’ve got to show me how you do that.” said Stimson.

Aesop came in last with a big drink cooler. “Wow! You look like shit!”

I turned to Katrina, feeling on edge and offended by my uninvited company. “Is there any reason for this band to be in my apartment right now?”

Les shrugged. “It’s another week until we have to be in Philadelphia for our next show. And we all wanted to make sure you were okay, so we thought we’d hang around for awhile.”

Overwhelmed, I sank into a seat at my kitchen table. “This is a little much.”

“Your voice is a little much, don’t you think? I’m surprised you don’t have your own band.” mused Stimson.

I didn’t respond, but Les took a seat next to me. “I’ve never heard anyone sing like you. I felt it, right here.” She said, putting her hand over her heart. “It nearly broke my heart.”

I folded my arms. “I could say the same about the way all of you play.” I said, not looking at her.

“I knew it! She liked us!” said Cox, clapping her hands.

Aesop poured himself a drink from the drink cooler and took a sip. “What the hell is this?” he asked Katrina. Then he turned to Les. “And why do you care so much about her opinion of the band?”

“It’s Sorrell. It’s a traditional holiday drink made with rice, sugar and ginger.” answered Katrina.

Stimson and Cox grabbed cups of their own. “Needs rum.” Said Stimson.

“You think everything needs rum!” said Cox with a giggle. Stimson just shrugged in agreement.

“Her opinion matters to me because she’s a fellow musician.” offered Les.

“I don’t play an instrument.” I protested.

“But you’re a singer. Your voice is your instrument.” said Les.

“Let’s eat now. I’m starving!” wailed Cox.

Eager to change the subject, I got up and loaded my plate down with food. When I sat down, I actually had to stop and think about how weird everything was. I was sitting in my apartment eating Jamaican food with a rock band after zoning out. I wondered what they thought about me. Did they think I was just some overindulgent college girl with a bad attitude and a golden voice? I pushed my thoughts aside to start eating, and was pleasantly surprised. Katrina had managed to make everything taste authentic. It was like I was sitting in my aunt’s kitchen, eating her food.

“Where did you find the callaloo?” I asked after I was done. “These are great.”

Katrina blushed. “Really? You aren’t scraping everything onto the floor to feed your invisible dog, are you?”

I pointed at my empty plate. “I ate everything. I haven’t had a meal like that in forever.” I couldn’t help but grin.

“I vote for taking Katrina on the road with us and making her our official road cook.” said Aesop. “That was the weirdest and best meal I’ve ever had.”

Katrina blushed harder, and flailed her hands around. “Stop it you guys! I just followed a recipe!” While Sugar Free gushed over the meal, Les pulled me aside.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” she whispered. “We can just walk down the hallway. It’s still cold as hell outside.”

“Sure.” We snuck outside of my room, and into the hallway going towards the stairs.

“You’re a lot like me.” She said mysteriously, leaning against a wall.

I wrinkled my eyebrow. “You’re gay too?”

Les opened her eyes wide. “I’m not gay. I’m with Aesop.”

I shrugged. “My bad. So what are you talking about?”

“This isn’t an attempt to seduce you or anything. I just wanted to talk to you about singing.”

“I don’t like to sing.” I admitted.

“Why not?”

“It hurts.” I said bitterly.

Les swallowed hard at the pain in my voice. “How does it hurt you?”

I felt tears fall down my cheeks, tears I hadn’t even known I had. I wiped them away quickly, trying to salvage what was left of my dignity. “It just does. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“That’s why you were out for so long. You weren’t really sleeping, were you? You were just…somewhere else.”

“I can’t talk about this with you.” I felt nervous and off-balance again. It was bad enough she knew. But if she knew the reason behind it…I didn’t want to think about that. No one was supposed to know about that.

“If you can’t talk, then listen. Can you do that for me?”

I nodded. “Go ahead.”

“Sugar Free used to have five members, not four.” She said with a deep sigh. “My boyfriend Woody was a member of the band. He’d play rhythm guitar and harmonize with me.”

“What happened to him?”

“He was supposed to wait for me at a video store, but he insisted on riding his motorcycle to my house in the middle of a thunderstorm. He lost control of his bike and slammed into the back of a semi.”

I swallowed hard and looked away. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” She shook her head as if she was clearing it out. “Anyway, I couldn’t sing for about a year after that. It was like all the music was gone. And if I tried to force it, I’d choke on the lyrics. I thought I lost my voice when Woody died.” She smiled softly. “But you know what? My voice wasn’t gone. I just needed to give my heart time to heal. It’s impossible to sing with a broken heart.”

“No one’s ever broken my heart.” I muttered.

“But someone’s hurt you. Hurt you so much you can’t sing without it hurting you physically.” I saw concern in her eyes, and I turned away.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I’m going back inside.” I felt like she was entirely too close to the truth. And if she or anyone else ever figured out what had happened to me, I didn’t know how I would be able to look at myself in the mirror. I started walking away from her.

“Hey. I’m not trying to embarrass you.” She said, running after me. “I didn’t wait around all this time to make fun of you. I’m here to make you an offer.”

“Don’t tell me you’re here to make me a record deal.”

Les laughed. “Do I look like Missy Elliott to you? No, it’s a different kind of deal. Well, it’s more like a standing invitation.”

I folded my arms. “Get to the point already.”

“I want to sing with you again. Whenever you’re ready, just contact me or someone from the band, and I’ll come out to wherever you are and sing with you.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think things will ever change for me. Don’t keep your hopes up.”

Les smiled. “Time has a good habit of changing things.”

“Right.” What do I need, another twelve years? I didn’t think time had anything to do with me. I was going to be stuck zoning out for the rest of my life every time things got too hot to handle.

“Anyway, it’s a standing invitation. If you need a wedding band or whatever, we’ll perform for free, as long as you sing with me.”

“Considering gay marriage won’t be legal anywhere until I’m dead, I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

Les sighed. “Only someone like you would make an up-and-coming band plead to sing with you.”

I frowned. “Huh?”

“How do I put this? You’ve got a great voice. People that have voices like you are signed to a record label already. Singing with someone with a voice like yours makes me sing my best. My band’s great, but they aren’t singers. Call it a future collaboration.”

I shook my head. “I’m not even a music major.”

“Neither was I. It’s not about a piece of paper. It’s about how people react when you open your mouth and let the music out.”

“What are you? Some kind of music guru? Are you questing to find the perfect musical duet?”

Les chuckled. “Get defensive all you want, but I know one day we’ll be singing together again.” She left me in the hallway, confused out of my mind.

“What a weird fucking chick.” I muttered to myself, before following her back into my apartment. Katrina, Stimson, Cox and Aesop were having a good laugh about something. I didn’t pay too much attention. Les eased her way into the conversation, not bringing up what we had talked about outside my apartment. It annoyed me. Who did that girl think she was?

My phone ringing interrupted us. I answered it. “Hello?”

“Morgan. I know I said I didn’t like clingy girls, but this is ridiculous.” It was Alice, her voice somewhere between chiding and worried about not having heard from me in over twenty-four hours.

“Alice. I’m sorry. I’ve just been…sleepy.” I decided that a half-truth was better than a random lie.

“I must have really worn you out.” She said in the voice she used with me in her bedroom.

My face erupted into a wide grin. “That you did. I’m sorry I didn’t call you.”

“That’s alright. I…want to see you.”

I thought quickly. I had work to make up in the morning. The next twenty-four hours would be a beast to get back on track. Of course, my body’s cravings had nothing to do with my logical mind. “Sure. When can I come over?”

“How about right now?”

I looked over at Katrina and Sugar Free, who were listening to my conversation with rapt attention. There was something in Katrina’s eyes I didn’t understand, until I realized I had said Alice’s name out loud. I stuck my chin out at Katrina. If she was my friend, she would be happy for me that I finally found someone who could give me what I needed. “Give me thirty minutes, and I’ll be on my way.”

“Good. See you then.”

I hung up the receiver. “Look, Katrina. I didn’t tell you I was with her, because I didn’t want to make you mad, but I have the right to date whoever I want.”

Katrina nodded in a sad way. “You do. You totally do.” I waited for her to say something else, like bad-mouth Alice or say what a horrible person she was, but she didn’t. “I’ll clean up so you can go see her, alright?”

“And we gotta roll anyway. Thanks for putting us up, Morgan. Katrina, thanks for the free meal.” said Les.
“A free concert for the fans equals a free meal for the band.” said Katrina. Everyone in the band gave her hug, and we all cleaned up. Katrina made me keep all the leftovers, saying I should freeze them and eat them on a day I felt like eating Jamaican food.

“I don’t know how to thank you for this.” I told her.

“It’s just another apology out of many.” she told me. She seemed more stiff than usual. I assumed it was because she found out about Alice. “I’m gonna go. You can…call me whenever you want, I guess.”

“I’m not choosing her over you. You’re my friend. Best friend since at least yesterday.”

She smiled, but it was a sad smile. “Alright. Well, I guess I’ll see you whenever.”

“Bye.”

She left with Sugar Free, and I showered, got dressed and went over to Alice’s. Thankfully, Katrina wasn’t lurking in the hallway, or anywhere else that I could see. I knocked on the door, and Alice let me in. She was wearing a paint-smattered smock, and had a few stray streaks of white and grey paint on her cheeks. “I want to show you something.” She said as I walked in. She led me over to a spare bedroom that had been converted into a work studio. She had several small easels covered with white sheets, but there was one that was uncovered. It was a small picture of two glowing white eagles embracing one another as they stood on a tree branch.

“It’s beautiful.” I said, holding my hand over the birds to see if I could catch some of the light from their feathers.

Alice giggled at me. “What are you doing?”

“I could swear that those birds are glowing like light bulbs.” I said.

Alice nodded. “It took me forever to get the right shades of white to get that effect. Nearly all day.”

“The birds are beautiful. What inspired you to paint them?”

Alice blushed slightly, something I had never seen her do. “Nothing really. The image just popped into my head.”

“Is that how you paint? You just think of an animal, and you try to reproduce it on canvas?”

Alice nodded. “Sometimes. Other times I see an animal in real life, and I think of a way to freeze it. Capture it at the best possible moment, and make it bright, mystical and glowing like some kind of vision.”

I smiled at the glowing birds again. “Between what is and what might be.”

Alice blinked. “What do you mean?”

I felt my cheeks warm, feeling stupid for thinking out loud. “Nothing. So, is this what you’ve been doing all day?”

“Yes.” Alice yawned. “Sorry. It’s taken me two days to get this far. I still have a lot of work to do.” She blinked and pointed at the bandage on my head, something that I had forgotten about. “What happened to you? Is that from when we were-”

“No. I was walking outside and I slipped. Damn near cracked my head open.” I said quickly.

Alice narrowed her eyes at me. “You don’t strike me as the type of woman who isn’t smart enough to break her fall.”

I swallowed hard. “There wasn’t enough time to. It was really icy outside yesterday.”

“You’re a terrible liar. Someone hurt you.”

My breath caught in my throat, momentarily thinking she had figured out what had happened to me before. When I realized that was impossible, I calmed down. “I’m not lying. I really did fall down. No one hurt me.”

She looked embarrassed. “Sorry. I just thought something happened. I had a feeling-” She shook her head. “Never mind. My imagination is limitless.” She put her hands next to my hands, as if to catch the eagles’ light. “Sometimes I think eagles really glow like this when no one’s looking.” Alice smiled then, and for a minute, she looked younger, almost like a teenager. Gone was the regal, superiority on her face, and in it’s place was delight. She covered my hands with hers, lacing her fingers together with mine. We held hands like that for a few seconds before Alice took her hand away. She looked kind of embarrassed then, as if she had shown me a side of her I wasn’t meant to see. “So now that you’re here…” She said, spider-walking her fingers over my collar bone, “What do you want to do?”

I grinned, and put my arms around her neck. “What do you think I want to do?” She leaned down and kissed me. I smoothed my thumbs over her cheeks, wiping away her paint streaks.

“I should get cleaned up.” She said, pulling away from me. “Wait for me in my room, okay?”

“Sure.” While she was in the bathroom, I kicked off my shoes and made myself comfortable on her bed. Alice had a nightstand with an old-fashioned red rotary phone on it. I assumed it was just a collectible antique until it started ringing.

“Do you want me to get that?” I called out.

Alice got out of the shower and quickly rushed into the bedroom, soaking wet. “No!” She said, as if there was some kind of emergency. “I’ll call them back later.”

“Okay…” I replied, with one eyebrow raised at her behavior.

She flushed bright red. “I just don’t like other people answering my phone.”

I nodded. “No problem. I just hope you didn’t miss an important call.”

She looked at the phone sideways, and then at me. I got the distinct feeling she was hiding something. “Just don’t answer the phone when I’m in the bathroom, alright? I need you to that for me.” She said, as if her life depended on it.

“Sure. No problem.”

“I want to believe I can trust you, Morgan. I can trust you, right? Not to dig around in my business?” She said it in a way that made me think anything other than an instant yes to her question would result in a quick an un-apologetic boot from her apartment. I was taken aback by her attitude to say the least.

“Yes. You can trust me. I won’t answer your phone.”

She smiled. “Great. I’m going to dry off, and then…” She kissed me until we were both breathless. I almost didn’t let her go to dry off. “Wait. I promise you it’ll be worth it.” She whispered into my skin. She trailed her tongue over my skin momentarily before scampering back to the bathroom. A second later, the phone rang again, and she ran back out to answer it. “Hello? Could you call me back later? Thanks. Bye.” She said rapidly. She hung up, but left the phone off the hook. I frowned. What the hell was going on? “It’s nothing. Some of my students get a little antsy around this time of year about their final projects.”

I frowned harder. “You’re a TA?”

“Yes. I’m a teaching assistant over at the University.”

I chuckled nervously. “Don’t you care about ethics?”

Alice shrugged. “I think rules were made to be broken. It’s not like I’d sleep with anyone I actually taught. Unless…you intend on taking up a few art classes as electives.” She said with a wink. She gave me another kiss, and straddled me. “I think I’m dry enough now, what do you think?” She didn’t wait for an answer before putting my hands on her thighs. I parted them half-heartedly. Why didn’t she tell me she was a TA? We could still get into trouble if we were caught. “What’s wrong? You don’t like the idea of being with an old lady?” She sighed into my ear.

I moved my hands from her thighs and sat up, looking at her seriously. “I just don’t know why you wouldn’t tell me you were a TA before.”

“I thought that you’d be overly moral about everything and not want to see me.” She said, tracing circles on top of my head. “I kind of got that vibe from you when we met. Straight arrow. By the book.”

I grinned. “I’m not that much of a nerd.” I smoothed my hands over her creamy breasts, caressing her nipples. “And you are definitely not old.” I spent the next few hours proving to her just how young she still was. When we were finished, she was propped up on her elbow looking down on me. Her mouth was still swollen from kisses and love bites, her auburn hair was frazzled beyond belief, and her strange eyes that were never gray or green were definitely more green than usual.

“I wish I could keep you with me tonight. I really do.” She murmured, trailing her hand over my chest and down between my legs to caress me.

“I didn’t know I came with a return label on my forehead.” I joked.

“You are so sassy.” She said, pressing two of her fingers inside me insistently. “What am I going to do about that?” She whispered against my mouth. I took a long shuddering breath as she started scissoring her fingers, teasing me.

That definitely shut me up. At least for the few minutes it took for her to get me off. We lay there in bed for a minutes, catching our breath. Then I decided to make myself scarce. She obviously had work to do, and I had work of my own to catch up on. “I’m going to get out of here, okay?” I told her, running my finger down the side of her cheek.

“I’m surprised you don’t want to spend the night again. You can always leave first thing in the morning for class.” She offered.

“Unfortunately, I have a lot to do tomorrow. I have to get started as soon as I get home. And I know you have to get back to your students.” I pointed out. “You can come by my dorm if you like.”

“I don’t think it would be a good idea to visit you at your dorm. The last thing I need is to be recognized by anyone I’ve taught before.”

I shrugged in disappointment. “Alright.” I started putting on my clothes.

“Why don‘t we go out and see Gothika this Friday?” She offered.
I grinned at that. “When can I pick you up?”

“Let’s get a midnight show. And I’m driving this time.”

“I‘ll come by at eleven thirty.” I kissed her goodbye and left. When I got home, it was already well after ten o’clock, so I decided to catch up on my studying. Donohue called me a little after eleven.

“So…where were you today? I didn’t see you in the cafeteria.”

“Well…” I gave her basic rundown of the past two days.

I could hear Donohue actually chuckle over the phone. “Wow. You’ve got some luck, girl. If it was anyone else passed out in public you would have been sent to the hospital. I’m glad you were in good hands.”

For some reason, I knew Donohue was smirking at me over the phone. “Quit it.”

“Quit what?”

“Get that cocky ass expression off your face. Nothing happened. Nothing is going on between us. End of fucking story.”

“Are you mad because you think Alice is going to be jealous of Katrina? Come on. Alice is so not like that.”

“You know Alice?” I was a little surprised, and worried about that. “Did the two of you…”

“Nope. Not that I’d want to. She’s too high maintenance for me. Kind of like Katrina, but without the heart of gold.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she likes the finer things in life. And she tends to look down on more extreme forms of artwork. And, she has no qualms about voicing her opinions about punks and Goths.”

I sighed. “Let me guess. She got into it with you about abstract art over realistic art.”

“How’d you know that?!” yelled Donohue into the receiver.

“Jeez, Donohue! Volume control much?” I shrieked, my ears smarting from her sudden exclamation. “I overheard a few arguments about that at Paradigm. I’m assuming you’re on the abstract side of the argument.”

“Of course I am! Abstract, minimalist representations of reality are the very foundation of art. The pyramids survive better than portraits. There’s a reason for that. Beginning in the 30th century B.C.E-”

“Alright. I get it. You don’t like her. She doesn’t like you. I’m not getting involved in the debate.” I said, cutting Donohue off. Two of my closest friends don’t like her? Things are not looking good.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Morgan. She’s gorgeous, I know. But on the inside-” Donohue made a farting noise with her mouth. “You can do better than her. Trust me on that.”

“Are you sure you’re not just saying that because she’s a realistic painter? You seem to be pretty biased to me.”

“Sleep with whoever you want. I’m no cock block. But don’t set yourself up for another broken heart. You have the habit of going for these beautiful unobtainable women who only see you as a good time.”

I swallowed hard at that. “Look, I don’t need a lecture from you on how to live my life.”

“It’s no lecture coming from me, babe. You know that. But you’re my friend, and I’m sure as hell not letting you get involved with someone like Alice without telling you what she’s like. God, why can’t you get involved with a nice person like Katrina?”

“Thanks, Mom!” I said, hanging up on her. Then I regretted doing it. I took a seat in my recliner. “God, I am such an asshole right now.” I called Donohue to apologize, but she didn’t answer. “Shit.” I felt awful about being a bitch to Donohue. Sure she had a caustic tongue. Sure she could get under my skin at the worst possible time. But she was my oldest friend. She didn’t deserve to be yelled at for telling me her opinion.

I was very distracted for the rest of the night. Thanks to my sleep marathon, I wasn’t tired in the least, but I still couldn’t focus on my studying. I just kept on thinking about what Katrina and Donohue had told me about Alice. I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to think that Alice thought of me as just a good time. After all, didn’t she want to be seen in public with me? Weren’t we going to the movies on Friday? I tried telling myself that my friends were just overly concerned about me. That they were just afraid of me getting hurt by some worldly older woman. But I knew something wasn’t right. I kept thinking about how Alice didn’t want me answering her phone. I thought about how crappy she made me feel when I took her to Paradigm. I felt uneasy about the whole situation.

After my Accounting 3304 class, I borrowed notes from Jackie Boy. He had some weird obsession with comics that I didn’t understand, hence the nickname from some Frank Miller comic book. “What are you going to give me in return for helping you out?” He asked with a gleam in his light grey eyes. Jackie Boy had a thing for black girls, even though he was originally from Scotland, and had never met anyone black before coming to the US to study stateside. I had often caught him looking at me in my other accounting classes. I really didn’t want to ask him for help, but we were running neck and neck academically, and he was the only one who even came close to me when it came to taking good notes.

“My undying gratitude.” I said.

“I can offer you all of today’s notes, in exchange for a little extra credit on your end.” he replied, staring his laser beam vision into my chest.

I frowned. “Uh, no.”

He handed me his notes anyway with a playful grin. “You can’t blame me for trying.”

“No. I guess I can’t.” I really couldn’t say anything rude to him for ignoring my sexuality and hitting on me. After all, he was helping me out. But I wished I could curse him out just for being a creeper. He waited until I was leaving the classroom just so he could ogle me. I shuddered and walked away from him as quickly as I could.

In the cafeteria, I immediately found Donohue and apologized. “Hey it’s cool. You don’t have to go all Oprah on me.” She said, waving my words away. “I just don’t want to see you getting hurt.” She stabbed at her lasagna, but didn’t make any attempts to eat it. “Do you really like her that much?” I opened my mouth to speak, but she interrupted me. “Don’t answer that. Dumb question. Let’s just agree to disagree on the subject of your girlfriend.”

I swallowed hard. Was she even my girlfriend? I wondered. It seemed too soon to call her that. After all, we had never agreed to be exclusive. “Okay.” I muttered. I picked at my food, too bugged out to really eat anything.

“Is Katrina coming today?” asked Donohue after a few minutes.

I shrugged. “I dunno. Katrina just shows up wherever.”

“Right. As in wherever you are. She’s probably pissed you’re dating Alice. From what I heard, she doesn‘t like her either.”

“So you think she wants me to choose between her and Alice? That’s not fair!”

“Whoa, cool it, girl. Chill out. I just meant that she needs time to get used to the whole thing. She cares about you, and you’re with someone she can’t stand. It’s one hell of a pill to swallow if you know what I’m mean.” Donohue guzzled her chocolate milk and crumpled it’s carton. “Sayonara, Morgan-chan. I’m off to my next class.”

“Huh?” I asked her.

“There’s this delicious Japanese foreign exchange student in my class. I’m practicing my Japanese.” She said, with a devilish bite to her tongue ring. “I’m going international, baby.”

“I thought you said you wanted a monogamous relationship?”

“Yeah, well people in hell want ice water. Doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen. Especially since I’m bi.” She gave me a brave smile. “See you later.”

“Yeah.” I wanted to tell her it wasn’t true, that she’d eventually find someone who loved her even though she was bi, but I wasn’t exactly winning in the girlfriend department myself. Was it even possible to be happy with someone who loved me for who I was without worrying about what anyone else thought? I was starting to believe love was a cruel joke. I finished my lunch, and got caught up in my other classes.

When I got home, I found myself wondering if Katrina was going to call me. I didn’t want to lose her as a friend. I waited and waited, until I couldn’t take it anymore, and I called her for once. The phone rang four times before she answered it. “Katrina?”

“Hey, Morgan. What’s up?”

“Nothing much. I just wanted to say thank you again for a few nights ago. And everything.”

“Well, you know it’s no problem. You’re my friend. I’ll do anything I can to help you.”

There was a long awkward pause between us as I fought for the words to say. “So what have you been doing?”

“Nothing much. Just studying and stuff.”

“Oh. Well, I just wanted to see what you were up to.”

“Thanks. At first, I didn’t think you cared about me.” She chuckled.

“Are you kidding me? You’re my BFF, remember? Unless you were just joking before.”

Katrina was silent for a few moments before answering me. “I was serious. Friendship isn’t something I joke about.”

“So you’re not mad at me for dating Alice?”

“I’m mad, yeah. But you’re still my friend.”

“Eek. How mad are you?”

“Mad enough not to invite you to my birthday party on Saturday.”

“What?”

“No hard feelings though. I still consider you a friend.” My stunned silence was quickly replaced by her uproarious laughter. “Oh my God! You thought I was serious!”

“Ha ha.” I said weakly. “You got me. Yay…”

“Morgan. You’re too damn serious for your own good. I’d never not invite you to a party. Especially mine!”

“So what kind of party is it?”

“A blowout 21st birthday party.”

“I thought you were older than twenty-one!”

“Nope. Hence the makeup to make me look more mature so I don‘t get carded.”

“Hmm. You are far more devious than you let on.” I muttered.

“Since we’re on the subject of birthdays, when’s yours?”

“Mine was October 16th.”

“Damn. So you’re older than me huh?”

“Yep. So what do you want for your birthday, baby girl? A lollipop?” I teased.

“Maybe. Or maybe I want some Calvin Klein perfume. Or a nice pair of Dolce and Gabana heels.”

“Uh, I hate to break it to you-”

“I’m just kidding, Morgan. Don’t worry about getting anything super expensive. Just get me something you think I’ll like, okay?”

I chuckled nervously. “Something from the heart, huh?”

“Exactly. Look I have to get back to my term paper, but I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Alright. Later.” I hung up the phone with a smile. It was relieving to know she wasn’t too pissed off. Then I panicked. “Shit! What am I supposed to get her?” I still had only forty bucks to my name, no getting around that. And I didn’t want to be a lame ass and get her hallmark card with a stuffed animal.

I spent the rest of the week worrying about what to get Katrina for her birthday. Every time I thought of something, I thought there would be no way she’d like it. Regardless of what she told me over the phone, everything decent that I wanted to get her seemed way out of my budget. I felt like a horrible friend. She had bent over backwards for me time and time again, and I couldn’t even afford to buy her something she liked. I went to Vicky for advice.

“Well, what are you getting Katrina?” I asked Vicky when I stopped by her apartment. Like Katrina, she lived off campus, but her place was a little more modest. She had tons of anime and manga posters on her wall, intercut with a few pictures of friends, family, and her boyfriend Tony. He was a tall, dark-haired guy with blue eyes that seemed to match hers perfectly. I could tell by their closeness in their pictures that they loved each other immensely. It made me jealous. Was love only for straight couples?

“She’s been dying to get her hands on the vinyl version of “Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness” by The Smashing Pumpkins. I broke down and bought it for her.”

“Argh.” I grimaced. “I bet it cost over a hundred dollars.”

“It was more like two hundred and fifty dollars.”

I whistled. “That’s it. I’m screwed.”

“Don’t stress out. I know Katrina can come off as a connoisseur of all things expensive, but she’ll like anything you get her. She’s not a mean person. It’s the thought that counts.”

I rolled my eyes. “So says the person who can afford to buy her what she really wants.”

Vicky gave me a small smile. “You’re really thinking hard about this, aren’t you?”

“Katrina has been awesome to me in the short amount time I‘ve known her. I don’t want her to think I don’t care about her. And there’ll be a ton of people there with better gifts than me.”

“Don’t worry about it. The important thing is that you get her something.” Vicky chuckled to herself. “What do you think Donohue is going to get her?”

“Something random or wicked. It could be another Gopher band shirt, or a lace thong. There’s no telling.”

“See? And Katrina will like her present just fine. So don’t worry.”

I nodded, but I still had no idea what to get her. I still wanted to get her something great, even if I had a truly pathetic budget. I looked online for various accessories I thought Katrina would like, but after shipping and handling, everything I wanted to get her would still be totally out of my budget.

Finally, Friday rolled around, and I was still present-less. “Well, you’ve got to get her something.” said Donohue around a mouthful of chicken noodle soup. “You think too damn much.”

I sighed heavily. “I guess I’ll just buy her a card.”

“At least get her a Gopher album.”

“I would, except she has them all. She gets them as soon as they’re released. I thought about getting her a Sugar Free album, but that band has never been recorded, except for a few live fan recordings.” I released a long and miserable sigh.

Donohue frowned at me. “Stop doing that. You’re making this way harder than it has to be, dammit!”

I shook my head. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Then I realized that I had a date with Alice. “Damn.”

“What?”

“I gotta go. I was supposed to get with Alice to go see Gothika, but I forgot what time I‘m supposed to go and see her. Whatever, I’ll just surprise her. Later, Donohue.”

Donohue nodded at me. “Later.”

I got in my car and drove over to Alice’s apartment. I knew it was still early, only about eight o’clock, but I figured Alice would want to catch up with me and talk about her art. We had spoken sporadically throughout the week over the phone, but I didn’t have a chance to come over. I got out of my car and walked into Alice’s apartment. I knocked on her door, but I didn’t hear her answer. I frowned at that. I had seen her sky blue Mazda in the parking lot, so I knew she was home. I waited a minute or too, figuring she was in the middle of painting, or in the bathroom, but she didn’t come to the door.

On a hunch, I decided to call her. I knew something wasn’t right, and I didn’t like that feeling. I walked over to Katrina’s apartment, and knocked on her door.

“Hey. What’s up?” she asked me. She was all dressed up like she was on her way to a date. Katrina had pulled her hair up and away from her face, and had delicate little tendrils escaping her updo. She had on dramatic red lipstick, and dark eye shadow and eyeliner, with a bronzer that made her look darker than usual. Even though she was wearing a monogrammed sweater over a conservative-length skirt, she looked like a total vamp.

“I don’t want to bother you if you’re going out.” I told her.

“It’s no problem. Come on.”

I went inside her apartment. “Can I just borrow your phone real quick?”

“Sure. Is everything okay?” She asked.

“Honestly? I don’t know.” I used her phone and dialed Alice. After five rings, she finally answered.

“Hello?”

“Alice, it’s me.”

“Could you call me back later?”

“Are you home right now?” I asked quickly. She didn’t answer me for a long time. “Alice?”

“I’m home, but you can’t…you shouldn’t come over.” She sounded really nervous.

“Why not?”

“I’ll see you tonight, Morgan.” She said before hanging up on me.

I stared at the receiver in disbelief. “What’s going on, Morgan? Who was that?” Katrina asked me.

“Alice. It’s probably nothing.” I attempted to smile, but didn’t quite succeed at that. “I should go. You’re on your way out anyway.”

“How do I look?” She asked, twirling around a little.

“Amazing as usual.” I admitted.

Katrina giggled at that. “Thanks. I’ll see you at my party tomorrow, right?”

I smiled weakly, remembering that I still didn’t have a present for her. “Yeah. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Okay. I’ll see you later.”

I left her apartment and went out to my car, but thought better of it, and hung out by Alice’s door. I felt guilty for doing it, but I couldn’t stand the fact that she was hiding something from me. Katrina came out of her apartment, and stared at me for a few seconds before staring at me and joining me beside Alice’s apartment.

“I know what you’re about to do, and I have to warn you, this isn’t going to end well.” She told me.

“Whatever it is, I can handle it.” I replied.

“You sure?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I don’t want to stay in the dark if something shady is going on. I’d rather know the truth about Alice firsthand.”

“Alright. But call me if you need me.”

“I’m sure you’ve got a date with a great guy. Go on and enjoy your night. Tomorrow’s your birthday. You shouldn’t be worrying about me.”

“I can’t help it. I guess it’s a fatal flaw of mine.” She said quietly, folding her arms across her chest.

“You’ve done more than enough for me. Ever since I’ve met you, you’ve had my back no matter what. But you can’t hold my hand through every little thing that happens. Now go and have a good time.” I said stubbornly.

“You really don’t get it do you? I’m only going out on a date because-” she blurted before covering her mouth with her hand.

“What’s going on?” I asked. It was bad enough that Alice was keeping secrets from me, but I didn’t expect that coming from Katrina.

“I’m just going on this date because…I’ll explain later. I’ve gotta go.” she told me. “And don’t forget to call me later, alright?” She looked at Alice’s door and then at me worriedly before leaving the apartment building. The thud of the hallway door swinging shut sounded very final to me. I started to wonder if it was better to leave well enough alone and just come back in time for my date with Alice, effectively burying my head in the sand when it came to her secrets. I couldn’t bring myself to do that.

An hour passed, and I started to get antsy. A few tenants who lived in the apartment gave me strange looks, but no one gave me any trouble, mostly because I smiled at them all. I supposed they thought I was innocent because of my dimpled cheeks. Finally, at around nine thirty, the door to Alice’s apartment opened, and out stepped a young woman with long black hair. She was in the process of zipping up her jeans, when Alice went after her and pulled her into a long, lingering embrace. That was all I needed to see. I turned around and left the apartment building, my heart beating so loud I thought everyone could hear it for miles around.

“Morgan wait!” I heard Alice catch up to me when I reached my car.

“Why? What’s there to wait for?” My breath was caught in my throat, and I couldn’t bear to look at her. I knew my face would flood with bright hot tears if I did.

“I wanted to tell you weren’t the only one. I just didn’t know how.”

I wanted to be with her. I liked talking with someone who was open about who they were. I liked her art. I liked everything about her. I wanted to start a relationship with her. A real one with all the cute little dating rituals that went with it. But I knew she wasn’t that type of person. And I knew I wasn’t going to change her. “I’m just another girl to you, huh? Fine. Then let’s not pretend to be dating each other any more.” I made myself look at her to say that. I balled up my fists and lied with everything I had in me.

“Wait. You want to end this?”

“There’s nothing to end. We never had anything. Just a meal and a few fucks. That’s it. If you wanted me to be just like the other girls, you got your wish.” I got into my car and drove off without saying another word to her. I went to my dorm room and cried for hours. I wanted to give up on love. On everything. What was the point of going on if no one wanted to be with me for who I was? I was half-dizzy from tears, laying on my back in my bed, when I heard the front door slam. I sat up, grabbed my baseball bat and crept into my hallway cautiously.

“I can’t believe he got me Uggs! I hate these things!” exclaimed my roommate, slamming a brand new box of the shoes down on the kitchen table. She pawed at her frazzled brown hair, which didn’t help it much.

“Jesus Christ, Mindy. I thought you were a freaking thief or something.”

“Sorry Morgan. My boyfriend really pissed me off. It’s our first anniversary, and what does he get me? A pair of shoes I hate. You are so lucky to be dating girls. Guys just don’t get it.”

I sighed and put down my baseball bat. “Sometimes girls don’t get it either.”

“I had a massive blowout with him. It might be over. I don’t know.” She grabbed a soda from the refrigerator and sat down in a huff.

“You shouldn’t break up with him over a pair of shoes. He meant well right? Lots of women love Uggs. As a matter of fact I know someone who thinks they’re cute.”

“You’re joking right? Uggs are hideous.”

“No argument there. But at least your boyfriend remembered your anniversary and thought it was important enough to throw down a few hundred for a gift. Most guys I know just expect sex and call it a day.”

Mindy nodded. “You’re right. I’m being a bitch. I’m going to go back over there to apologize.” She got up and started walking towards the door.

“Wait. Don’t forget the Uggs.” I told her, handing her the box.

“You can trash them or sell them on eBay. I really don’t care.” She shuddered. “I don’t even want to hold the box again. Bad fashion is contagious.”

I frowned. “I hate Uggs to.” Mindy shrugged at me and left. I looked at the box. “What the hell am I supposed to do with a box of brand new Uggs?” I asked aloud. Then I jumped up, realizing that I had the perfect present for Katrina in my hands. “I can’t fucking believe this shit.” I told myself in disbelief, rubbing my head. I opened up the box of Uggs. Inside were a pair of ‘Snowpeak’ Tall Boots. They looked like running shoes with thick leg warmers sewn in on the inside. I could instantly see why Mindy hated them with a passion, but I thought Katrina would like them. “Thank goodness that’s settled.” I said with a long-suffering sigh.

Katrina called me up a little after eleven. I was surprised to say the least. I thought for sure she would still be out with her date. “Hey. How are you?”

“I’m a little better. It really sucks, you know? Not being with anyone who likes me for me. Just going out with these women who just want sex.” I chuckled bitterly at that. “I’m barely twenty-one and I’m talking like someone who’s thirty. Ick. But enough about me. You are going to love your birthday present…”

I kept teasing Katrina about what I bought her, refusing to tell her what it was. She kept pouting about it, threatening to come over to my apartment and give me a tickle torture until I fessed up. Thankfully, she was joking. “How did your date go?” I asked her. “You didn’t really seem to be into it.”

“I went out with a guy who’s been crushing on me since I’ve been a freshman. He’s really sweet, but not my type.”

“So why did you go out with him after all this time? Did he finally wear you down?”

“No. I just wondered what he saw in me. I know what most men see. They see an attractive woman who can get them married into a wealthy family. But I thought that he would be different.”

“What’s his name?”

“Angelo. He’s a biology major. He’s only nineteen and about to graduate early in a few days. He’s brilliant.”

“He started here when he was fifteen? Wow. Genius.”

“Yes. He is really smart…” Katrina didn’t finish her sentence.

“So…did you find out what he liked about you?”

“My boobs!” laughed Katrina. “He couldn’t keep his eyes off them, and I wasn’t even showing any cleavage.”

“Wow. That’s gotta suck.”

“Not really. I never had any intention of giving him anything more stimulating conversation. At least now he can say he went on a date with me.”

“Did you think dating a nerd would be any different than dating a jock or fraternity boy?”

“Actually, I thought he would actually make eye contact with me at least once. At least frat boys can do that. What can I say? Men are men.”

“Women can be women to. Just think about my luck with the ladies.”

“So I take it things didn’t work out with Alice. I guess you know she sees lots of other women.”

“Of course. But I ended things with her, so it’s not really a problem is it?”

“Geez, Morgan. I know you liked her. And it’s hard for you enough as it is…”

“So you think I would settle for someone who likes to fuck everything that walks? Please give me some credit. I may not be much, but I have a smidgen of pride.”

“I wish you wouldn’t talk about yourself like that. You’re great!”

“Tell that to another lesbian. Maybe she’ll believe you and treat me right.”

“Morgan, I’m sorry. I should have told you all about her from the beginning.”

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for. It was Alice’s responsibility to tell me. You’ve been great to me. You treated me as a person who happens to be a lesbian, instead of a lesbian who happens to be a person. I want to really say thank you for that.” I heard Katrina sniffling. “Are you crying?”

“No…” she protested, but I knew she was lying.

“What made you wait for me, the day we met?” I asked out of curiosity.

“I just thought about how you must have felt. I treated you like you had herpes or something. I felt like an idiot as soon as the left the cafeteria. I had to make it right.”

Her response made me smile widely. “I’m glad you did.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

“Alright. What time’s the party?”

“Eight thirty. And I’m cooking, so all you need to bring is beer.”

I chuckled. “You’re cooking on your birthday? Don’t tell me your making your own cake!”

“Of course I am! I’ll see then, okay?”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

In the morning, I woke up and got gift wrapping paper from the store, and eagerly wrapped up the Uggs. When Vicky and Donohue called me up to see if I got around to getting Katrina’s gift, I told them it something they wouldn’t expect and left it at that. I wanted everyone to be surprised. I spent half the day figuring out the perfect outfit to wear. I decided on a red tight-fitting long sleeved shirt with over sized sleeves over black jeans with red racing stripes down the sides. I decided to wear dramatic black eyeliner and dark red lip-gloss to make my clothes pop. Donohue came over at around seven to bum a ride. She was dressed to impress in a Che Guevera t-shirt, spike bracelets, Doc Martins, and tight leather pants. “So what did you get her?” She asked as she strapped herself into my car.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I told her, grinning as widely as I could.

“Hmm…” said Donohue, looking me over. “I’m surprised you were able to find her something decent. I guess you finally stopped thinking so hard about it.”

I smirked. “Something like that.”

When we got to Katrina’s apartment, I rushed past Alice’s apartment without a passing glance. The less I thought about her, the better. “Not stopping by your girl’s place? We’re still early.” Donohue pointed out.

I knocked on Katrina’s door. “I ended everything with her yesterday.”

“And when exactly were you going to tell me this?”

I shrugged. “I was too busy crying.”

Donohue twerked up the corner of her mouth. “Shit, girl.”

“Don’t get all mushy on me, Don.”

“Hey. I don’t like nicknames!” she protested.

“Doesn’t Katrina call you that?” I smirked. Donohue blushed for the first time since I had known her. It was a little shocking to see. Before she could come up with a proper comeback, Katrina answered the door, wearing an apron over an off-the shoulder white party dress.

“You guys are early! Vicky is already here. Everyone else should come through in a another half hour.” Katrina told us, waving us in.

I looked at her table, which was overflowing with finger food. There were kebabs, spring rolls, mini-quiches, and various other things I had never seen before. The smell was amazing. “Wow, Trina. How long have you been cooking all this?”

Katrina shrugged, smiling widely. “Since this afternoon. But it only took me about three hours. I had a million things cooking at once.”

“I tried talking her out of doing all this cooking, considering it’s her birthday, and what does she do? She bans me from her kitchen.” said Vicky, as she filed her nails on Katrina’s leather sofa.

Katrina rolled her eyes. “I thought birthdays were all about doing what I wanted to do. And nothing beats throwing a party and cooking for all of my friends.”

Vicky pointed her nail file at Katrina and grinned. “You’re fuck nuts, lady.”

Katrina winked. “You’re damn right.” Katrina took off her apron. “The cake is in the kitchen. I don’t want to bring it out, because some of my friends who are coming over have no self-control. So if they ask you about cake, tell them it hasn’t been delivered yet.”

I frowned at Katrina. “And where are you going to be?”

Katrina wiped some sweat from her forehead. “In the shower. I don’t want to smell like food or anything at my party. It’ll only take a few minutes. Let everyone in for me, okay?” she retreated to her room before I could protest.

“Why do you I get stuck with hostess duty?” I whimpered.

“Donohue would scare away any preps. Anyone who saw me would think twice about coming in because I look underage.” said Vicky, still filing her nails. I know she meant to be teasing, but her tone sounded angry.

“Are you okay, Vicky? You sound pissed off.”

“My boyfriend is an asshole. He said last week he would try to come, but he made a lame ass excuse last minute.” She made an perturbed noise with the back of her throat. “He does this every time I give him the chance to meet my friends. What a jerk!”

Donohue sat next to Vicky on the couch and poked her arm. “Give me his address. I’ll kidnap him and drag him kicking and screaming down here.”

Vicky chuckled at that. “Thanks. I’d really appreciate that.”

Someone knocked on Katrina‘s door, interrupting Donohue‘s kidnapping plot. It was Benson, balancing a present on top of a case of Miller Light. “Hey. Katrina will be out in a minute.”

“Hey, Morgan.” he replied with a smile, brightened by his braces. “Thanks for the other night. I heard you had my back.”

“No problem. Michael needed his ass kicked. I’ll put your beer in the fridge.” I decided it was best to keep everyone out of the kitchen, as per Katrina’s orders. As soon as I did that, there was another knock on the door. This time it was a trio of sorority girls, who looked nearly identical with bone-straight permed hair, chandelier earrings, monogrammed cocktail dresses and purses. Even their presents looked the same and had the same wrapping paper.

“This is Katrina‘s place, right?” said the tallest of the sorority girls, wrinkling up her nose at me.

I was tempted to say no, but it was Katrina’s party, not mine. “Are you here for Katrina’s birthday party?”

“Yes…” she said in an annoyed way.

“Come right in.” I said, opening the door. The trio gave me a sideways glance before stepping inside and heading straight for the food. I returned the stare. Every muscle in Donohue’s body seemed on edge as strode over to me.

“I hate preps! Why does Katrina hang out with people like that?” She whispered to me.

“She was in a sorority, remember?” I reminded Donohue. “She probably doesn’t hang out with them anymore. They didn’t even know this was her apartment. Don’t worry. It’s four against three. Besides, they’ll probably just avoid us tonight.” Again, I heard a knock on the door. I sighed. “Duty calls.”
A group of about four guys showed up. I recognized one of them from Benson’s party, still wearing the same trucker hat, and the rest seemed to be his friends.

“Hey. Is Katrina here?” asked the guy with the trucker hat.

“Yeah. She’s still getting ready. Come in.”

“I’m Robert, but everyone calls me Bobby. Like from King Of The Hill. Bobby!” He called out suddenly. He introduced his friends to me, Gordon “Gordo”, Jason, and Kevin. They gave me a curious stare, no doubt wondering why I shaved my head. I got that from guys a lot. The foursome walked in and started chatting up the sorority girls, who started giggling at the first sign of attention. I rolled my eyes.

The next guests were a bit of a surprise. It was The Gophers, albeit cleaned up in dark slacks, clean shirts and ties. “Hi. Is Katrina around?” asked Mr. Sirius.

I nodded, a little taken aback and unable to speak. Before I could blink, they were moving in amps, instruments, and about three cases of Budweiser. “Are you guys going to be playing here?”

“Yep. Have you seen Donohue?” asked Bones. I pointed at Donohue, who immediately perked up.

I rubbed my head. “This is going to be a crazy night.”

More people came, mostly neighbors from Katrina’s apartment complex, several bartenders from clubs all over town, and a handful of Djs. By the time Katrina finally decided to show herself, twenty minutes later, her apartment, large though it was, was packed to capacity, so much so, that I had to open up her patio for some extra space. All eyes were on Katrina as she stepped out of her bedroom. She was dressed to kill. She had on simple black mini dress, but she somehow managed to look amazing.

“Happy Birthday!” screamed the room.

Katrina giggled. “Oh! Thanks you guys! Thanks for coming! I want to hear some music right now. Presents and cake will come later, okay?” Instantly, everyone crowded around her. Relieved to be getting a respite from answering the door, I grabbed a beer and sat down on a bar stool, the only empty spot in the room. The Gophers started playing, and people started dancing to their signature song, “You Can’t Save Me”. I bobbed my head along, thinking how great Katrina was for setting up her own birthday party. After a few beers, I felt tipsy enough to join the madness, and got up, dancing in the churning, screaming crowd of people. I danced with women, and I danced with men. It didn’t matter. The music was great, and I wanted nothing more than to not think about anything except having a good time. Occasionally, I felt the long fingers of someone holding me around my waist and letting me go before holding onto me again. I figured it was a touchy feely drunk, and ignored it. Eventually, I found myself over at the food table, and snatched a few mini-quiches. I moaned, they were so good. The flaky pastry and cheesy ham filling seemed to melt in my mouth.

“Does everything taste good?!” asked Katrina, next to me, yelling over the music.

“Yeah! This party is great!” I told her.

“Thanks for letting everyone in!” she told me with a smile.

I gave her a thumbs up. “No problem!” I refueled with some more beer, and then got back to dancing. By then, the sorority girls were rump-shaking in a corner of the room, and several men were throwing ones at them. I laughed. I looked for Vicky and saw she was dancing with her boyfriend, who had showed up after all. The two of them made me smile. Although Tony was about a foot and a half taller than Vicky, they still made a cute couple.

“It almost makes you want to be straight, huh?” asked Donohue, who was already trashed, stumbling with a bottle of Heineken in her hand.

I shrugged. “Are you choosing a team?” I asked, repeating an old joke between us.

Donohue shrugged back. “Nope. I’m a switch hitter for life.” She didn’t say it with her usual devilishness. She actually seemed sad about it.

I nudged her side. “Stop that depressing shit. This is a party! Woo!” I said. Several drunken woos from various people in the apartment echoed back at me. I saw Katrina talking to Mr. Sirius, and the band stopped playing mid-song. Half the apartment booed.

“You better not boo the birthday girl!” said Katrina, snapping her fingers. “It’s time for me to open my gifts. Everyone find your present, and bring it to me.” There was a mad dash of people scrambling to remember where they had left their presents, but eventually a rough line was formed. By the time I got my present, I was last in line. The sorority girls gave Katrina expensive designer purses. Katrina thanked them, but there seemed to be something stand-offish between them, like she didn’t really want them there. Next up was Vicky, who gave Katrina her vinyl album. Katrina squealed and jumped up and down, making everyone laugh. The Djs gave Katrina some headphones, a mix tape, an iPod, a keyboard, and a ticket to next year’s Lollapalooza. Bobby and his friends gave her gift certificates to Abercrombie and Fitch. Katrina’s neighbors got her gift certificates to various restaurants. The bartenders got her various bottles of hard liquor. Donohue got Katrina a funny birthday card, and some toe socks. Katrina giggled at the card and the socks. Finally, it was my turn. I held my breath, as Katrina ripped through the wrapping paper and stared at the box. Then she stared at me in shock. “You got me Uggs!” she said. She dropped the box and enveloped me in a hug, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Thank you so much! This is what I really wanted!”

“You’re welcome.” I said with a smile.

“Oh my God! What kind are they?”

“Snowpeak.” I told her. At that point, Katrina started crying. “Was that not what you wanted?”

“That’s exactly what I wanted! I was going to buy them myself for Christmas…but you beat me to it.” She opened the box and held up the boots. Then she grinned and fanned her face. “Is my mascara running?”

“Nope.” I said with a laugh.

“You still look hot!” yelled Bobby from the back of the room. His words made me stiffen up. I had forgotten that there were other people at the party besides me and Katrina for some reason. Katrina blushed.

“It’s cake time everyone! Morgan, Vicky, and Donohue, help me out.” The three of us followed Katrina into her kitchen and just stared. Her cake was a fancy three-tier red-velvet cake frosted in cream cheese icing. It was sitting on a platter, ready to serve, as if a professional baker had just dropped it off.

“The hell…Katrina, how long did that take you to make?” exclaimed Vicky.

“A few hours last night. I frosted it first thing in the morning. Could you take one end of this platter and help me carry it to the table? Morgan and Donohue, could you guys grab those plastic plates and forks on the counter? Thanks.”

“Damn girl. You are a beast in the kitchen.” noted Donohue.

Katrina shrugged and smiled. “It’s in the genes. My mom’s a chef.” Vicky and Katrina carried out the cake, and me and Donohue passed out the plates and forks. I started singing the happy birthday song, and then everyone joined in. I had never seen Katrina so happy. I was glad that I could be there to see her celebrate her big day. Katrina cut the first piece for herself, and then cut pieces for everyone else. Since there was a lot of cake, people went back for seconds and thirds, and there was still more left. After everyone had their fill of cake, several of Katrina’s guests were hovering around her, trying to convince her to go to a club to continue the celebration. She just shook her head. “Call me a lame ass, but I’m done for the night.”

“Aw. It’s your twenty-first birthday! Come on!” said one of the sorority girls.

“And I’ve been drinking since I pledged with you! I’m good. Trust me on that.” After pleading and begging her proved to be unsuccessful, half of the party left. Only Katrina’s guy friends, Vicky, Donohue, and me were left. I felt like I was cock blocking, so I pulled Katrina aside.

“Look, I don’t want to keep you from having a good time, if you know what I mean, so I can just leave now if you want.”

“Don’t go. I’ll get rid of the guys.”

“Are you sure? I thought you wanted to get laid on your birthday.”

“Sure I do. Just not with them.” Katrina eyed the remaining men in the room, who were looking for an opening to talk to her.

“Want me to get rid of them?”

“Could you?”

I grinned. “Sure.” I turned to the guys. “Look everyone. Katrina ate too much, and she’s feeling like shit right now.” Katrina, on cue, sprawled over her couch, looking faint.

“Oh come on!” protested Bobby.

“Nope. Out. Everyone out.” Most of the men left, except for The Gophers and Vicky’s boyfriend.

“You wouldn’t kick me out, would you, Kat?” asked Mr. Sirius, with a cocksure expression on his face.

Katrina groaned, rubbing her stomach. “I hate it when people call me that! Didn’t my friend tell you I’m sick?”

Mr. Sirius snorted. “Whatever. You’re not the only one who can get laid at the drop of a hat.”

Katrina rolled her eyes. “Good for you.”

The Gophers collected their gear and made themselves scarce. After that Katrina sat up. “Thanks Morgan. That wasn’t really convincing, but they got the message.”

“Everyone, this is Tony.” said Vicky, holding Tony’s hand. He waved at us shyly, and rubbed his head nervously.

“Hi.” He said with a bashful grin.

“I’m so glad you came! Why did you change your mind?” He shrugged and grinned again. “Isn’t he sweet?” Donohue burped loudly and crushed a beer can on her forehead in response.

“Ew.” I said wrinkling up my nose at Donohue. “Sorry about her, she’s a little-” Donohue proceeded to fall over unconscious. “-tipsy.”

Vicky shook her head. “That’s okay. You don’t mind, do you Tony?” Tony just shrugged and looked even more bashful. Vicky giggled. “We’re gonna go now. I’ll see all of you later, alright?”

“Sure. Bye.” I said.

Katrina hugged Vicky and thanked her for her gift before seeing them both out. After that, Katrina sighed and looked at Vicky, who was still passed out on the floor. The two of us picked up Vicky and got her onto the couch. “I guess she’s spending the night here. You want to sleep over?”

“Sure. I’m pretty much trashed.” I admitted.

“Do you mind bunking with me? I wouldn’t want you to sleep on the floor.”

Any hesitation I would have had sober was non-existent. “Sure. Just stay on your side of the bed.”

Katrina giggled. “No promises.”

I helped Katrina clean up. Even though it was a little after one, there were beer cans and bottles everywhere. Eventually we got all the trash collected, and I was yawning my ass off. “Go ahead and get in bed, okay? I’ll check on Donohue.”

“Cool.” I agreed. I went into Katrina’s room, kicked of my shoes and socks, and climbed into her bed. Her bed was so soft and comfortable, I went to sleep almost immediately.

I woke up sometime later to the feel of someone’s long, warm fingers stroking my cheek. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, but when I looked around, Katrina was facing away from me on her side of the bed, as promised. I shook myself and went back to sleep. In the morning, I woke up and helped myself to some of the leftover mini-quiches from the night before. Katrina found me in the kitchen.

“So what do you think?”

“That party last night was great.” I said around a mouthful of quiche. “I didn’t know you knew so many people.”

Katrina shrugged. She looked like she hadn’t slept all night, but I knew that wasn’t the case. I guessed she was hung over. “People think they know me, but they don’t.” She gave me a small smile. “Except maybe you.”

“I’m glad you liked your boots.”

She widened her smile more. She almost reminded me of Donohue with a dangerous look in her eye. “I love them, actually.”

I grinned back. “Great.” Katrina stopped smiling for some reason, stepping away from me and walking out of the kitchen. I frowned and followed her out. “Are you okay?”

She smiled sadly. “I’m good. It was a long night you know?”

“I slept like a baby. Your bed is really comfortable.”

Her mouth drooped a little. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

I frowned at her change in expression. “Thanks for putting us up. I appreciate it.”

Katrina sighed. “No problem. We’re friends right?”

“Right. I’m gonna wake up Donohue and take her home. I’m sure you’ve got one hell of a hangover to deal with.”

“Something like that.” I woke up Donohue, who immediately groaned and asked for another beer. After shaking some sense into her, she stumbled to her feet and started walking out to my car on her own. “Hey More. I really appreciate the shoes. I know it must have been a sacrifice to get them for me.”

“Don’t sweat it, Trina. You deserve to get what you want.”

She gave me another hug. “I really love them.”

I squeezed her back. “I’m glad. I’ll see you later, alright? And take care of that hangover.” Her face brightened for the first time all morning. “ Oh, by the way, did you see someone dancing close to me last night? I thought it was one of your friends from the sorority, but they were booty dancing at the time, so it couldn’t have been one of them.”

Katrina shrugged and ran her fingers through her hair, biting her lip. “I don’t know. We were both pretty trashed last night. It could have been anyone.”

I nodded. I figured I must have imagined someone touching me in my sleep too. Everything was probably the result of too much alcohol and too many residual memories of Alice. “Alright. Later.”

Katrina opened her mouth to say something, but she just waved goodbye as I closed the door to her apartment. I walked out to my car, where Donohue was leaning over it, her head buried in her arms.

“God, I hope I can make it to class tomorrow morning.” She groaned as she buckled herself in. “Did Katrina ever talk to you? She kept on dancing close to you like she was trying to tell you something.”

I frowned at that, knowing that a hung over Donohue was always serious. “Katrina never said she was dancing with me.”

Donohue groaned again. “Well, I thought it was her. I don’t know. I was so fucked up.”

I didn’t ask Donohue anything else. I just remembered those long, soft fingers around my waist, and the same fingers brushing against my cheek in the middle of the night, like a caress. I drove Donohue to her dorm, and helped her inside. But as I went back out to my own car, I wondered.