Forever yours

It was always the same boring chit-chat. There was never any laughter, and it infuriated me. Why couldn’t old people laugh or have fun? I scanned the room, searching for someone, anyone, who was young and seemed as full of life as I was. After a thorough search of the room, I finally concluded that I was the youngest among all these half-dead people. I sighed and adjusted the mask on my face, it was really starting to get on my nerves, but I knew how Mother would react if I took it off. I looked up and noticed Mother heading in my direction with one of her shrivelled friends, I think her name was Anne but I can’t really recall. I tried to duck out the way, so that I wouldn’t have to put up with their boring gossip, but unfortunately Mother had already spotted me.
“Dane dear!” she called.
I sighed and forced a smile onto my face, “Yes Mother?” She stopped in front of me with Anne by her side, so I bowed, showing that all the lessens that Papa had paid for hadn’t gone to waste. Anne scanned me with her brilliant blue eyes and I fought the urge to do a little spin for her.

She turned to Mother after a short while and smiled at her.
“He’s very handsome, ain’t he?” Mother smiled, the pride showing on her face. She then turned to me.
“Dane dear, could you take your mask off so Anne can see you properly?”
I sighed and raised my hands to my face and slowly removed the mask. Anne gasped and I felt my face burn red.
“Why Eleanor…he’s perfect. He’s just the person I’ve been looking for for my Joanne,” I looked between Mother and Anne, both had a scary gleam in their eyes, it made me worry. Mother turned back to Anne and started discussing things, mainly me.
“We really need to set up a date when they can meet, I’m sure Dane’s just dying to meet your Joanne. He’s so lonely at the moment. He even…” I let her voice fade into the background and put my mask back on.

I had had enough, so I walked away from them, knowing that they wouldn’t notice that I was gone for a few hours at least. I pushed my way through the crowd, trying not to be too rough around the more senior dancers and finally reached the exit, once I was outside, I gulped in as much fresh air as my lungs would allow. Air contaminated with old person sweat is not very nice. I leant against the building and sighed. Mother was always going on about this Joanne, she always told me how much she had longed for a daughter like her. I’d seen many pictures of Joanne. She had flowing red hair and green eyes, she was pretty in her own way, but she didn’t interest me, but then again, no-one ever has …maybe I’m too fussy for my own good. Why can’t Mother just let me find the girl I want, in my own time?

“Excuse me mister?” I snapped open my eyes and turned my head to the place I had head the voice from. A man with almond-shaped blue eyes and wavy sandy hair was standing looking at me, obviously worried that there was something wrong. “Is there something wrong sir?” I shook my head, enticed by his voice. It poured out like a river and every time he spoke, his tongue glided beautifully over his perfect teeth. I gasped as I gathered my thoughts. I really shouldn’t be thinking things like this. It was…unnatural…but there was just something about him that intrigued me. He tilted his head, questioningly.
“No, everything’s fine thanks. Just needed a bit of fresh air.” He nodded, and then looked at the building.
“Is it much fun in there?” He asked.
“If you enjoy boring gossip, and watching or dancing with old people then yes, otherwise it’s a definite no.” I laughed. He smiled at me, and I lost my breath…he had a crooked smile and it was beautiful. I’d never seen anyone smile like that before and it just took my breath away. He held his hand out and I shook it.
“I’m Jacob, and you are?” The moment that I touched his skin, it felt like an electric current had ran through me.
“My name’s Dane.” I smiled at him, and thought I noticed him gasp, but I just put it down to my imagination.

We looked at each other for a few moments and then he broke the silence.
“What’s with the mask?”
“Oh snap.” I laughed, “It’s kinda a thing for the party in there. Have to wear masks or something.”
“Oh, right” he nodded. “How come your girlfriend or wife or whatever isn’t out here, trying to drag you back in to dance with her?” I bent my head in disgrace as I had done many a time when people asked about my relationship.
“I’m not married and I don’t have a girlfriend, although Mother is trying to set me up with this Joanne I don’t know.” I thought I saw him smile slightly, but once again, I blamed my imagination for my thoughts. “What about you Jacob? Got a good looking lass under your arm?” I saw him blush and he bent his head like I had done.
“No, I’m not with anyone at the moment. No-one...well there is one person but…I know it’s kinda impossible” he pulled a little smile and looked back up at me, “Are you going to take that mask off, or am I not allowed to see what you really look like” he joked. I laughed and slide the mask up and took it off, dropping it onto the ground. This time I actually saw him gasp. I raised an eyebrow questioningly and he smiled.
“Wow. I didn’t expect you to be that handsome.” And then he blushed, “sorry, don’t know what came over me…ermm, wanna go for a walk?”
“Sure, got nothing better to do.” I smiled at him and he smiled back.

We were walking along the harbour, listening to the crash of the waves on the harbour walls. We talked every few moments, asking questions about each others life styles. Jacob was a waiter, his parents had died when he was little and he was brought up by his aunt. Eventually, we sat down on a bench that overlooked the sea, it was quite warm seeing as we were sitting right next to the sea. I turned to Jacob and noticed him yawning. “I’m sorry if I’m boring you Jacob.” He looked at me.
“No not at all.” He smiled, “I just had a really long night last night.” I nodded and sat watching the sea beat the harbour wall and listening to Jacob breathing. I felt something land on my shoulder, and I turned my head slightly to see what it was. I was surprised to find that it was Jacobs head. I gulped, not sure what to do. I stayed as still as I could.

After a few minutes of his head there, I felt like this was what had been missing the whole time. I leant my head against his and relaxed a little. I glanced down when I saw movement, and I saw his hand move slightly. I figured ‘what the hell’ and I moved my hand gently so that it was just lying on top of his, and I smiled softly to myself. We sat like that for about ten minutes, and then he moved, his head lifted off my shoulder, but his hand stayed where it was, and he placed his other hand on top of mine.

I turned to him and looked into his questioning eyes. I smiled at him, unsure of what was going to happen, but also knowing what I wanted to happen. I’d never kissed anyone before but for some reason I wanted him to be my first kiss. I moved my head forward slightly, keeping my eyes open, waiting for a response from him. He seemed in the same frame as mind as I did and he had his head closer to me. Eventually our noses were touching and then the electric sparked and I pressed my lips against his, unsure where to go from here, but he seemed to know what to do, so I let him lead.

If I could have let it, I would have stayed like that forever, but unfortunately time got the better of us, and when we pulled away, we sat holding each others hands and looking into each others eyes. I glanced down at my watch and noticed that it was nearly midnight. I gasped and stood up quickly, accidentally snatching my hand out of Jacobs. He looked up at me, his eyes once again questioning my movement.
“I’ve got to get back to Mother, Jacob. I’m really sorry. Can I see you another time?” he nodded, speechless. “I’m really sorry Jacob.” I kissed him on the forehead and whispered to him, and then raced off leaving him sitting there on his own.

When I arrived back at home, Mother wasn’t back yet so I sneaked in and ran upstairs into my bed room. I ran over to my bedroom window, flung it open and peered out.
“Jacob?” I whispered.
“Down here.” came the voice of my saviour. I smiled to myself and helped him climb up. When he was in my room and my window was shut, we lay on my bed, arms wrapped around each other, whispering.
“Jacob.” I whispered first, “I have never felt like this before, you’re what I’ve been missing.”
“Dane,” he whispered back, “You have no idea, how long I have waited for this day.” We whispered all night, and eventually fell asleep in each others arms.

In the morning, Jacob left so that no-one would get suspicious of what I was doing. I headed downstairs just after Jacob had left and when Mother saw the look on my face, she misinterpreted it.
“Looking forward to seeing Joanne are we? You know. I’ve always wanted a daughter like her, and now, I’m getting her as a daughter-in-law instead.” That statement made me stop where I was.
“What was that?” Mother looked at me.
“Well we’ve started all the arrangements and it’s going to be a beautiful wedding.”
“Mother, you can’t just tell me that I’m going to get married, what if I don’t want to marry Joanne?” it was Mothers turn to freeze.
“Why wouldn’t you marry Joanne.”
“Maybe because she’s not my type?”
“Well maybe if I knew your type then I could set you up with someone.”
“Maybe you don’t want to know my type.”
“You’re not…” she gulped and whispered “You know…gay” she spat the last word as if it was a disgusting word. I looked at her, disgusted at the way she said it.
“What if I was Mother? What would you do about it?” She gulped.
“I don’t have time for this right now Dane. I’ve got things to arrange and I don’t need to worry about you on top of all my other problems.”

She started to walk away from me but I grabbed her arm and I spoke through my teeth.
“What would you do if I was gay Mother?” She gasped when I said that ‘dreaded’ word. “That’s right Mother. I said gay.”
“Let go of me” she pulled out of my grasp and stared at me. “If I hear that you’ve come within more than five feet of another man, you are going to regret it, I promise you that.” I sunk into a chair at the table and rested my head in my hands, admitting defeat. She left the room and ran up to my room and lay crying all day. Jacob climbed through my window again that night, and when he arrived, I cried into his shoulder all night, and he just sat with me and comforted me.

It continued like this for a few weeks, I’d act normal around my parents, but once I was alone or with Jacob, I’d let everything out. I felt really bad that I was unloading all my problems on him and that I didn’t give him a chance to tell me about his problems. But I couldn’t help it, I felt so safe around him. I loved him.

One morning I woke up and Jacob was already gone but there was a note on my pillow which read:

“Dane.
When you read this, I’ve already gone. You have been so upset lately, so I haven’t dared to ask you, but I think that if I ask you like this, it gives you a chance to think about it before you make a decision. I’ve seen the state that your mother has put you in and I don’t want to see you like this again. Will you come away with me tonight? I’ll be waiting at the bench by the harbour (you know the one) at eleven o’clock. If you’re not there by midnight I’ll know that you’ve made your decision. I love you. Always remember that.
Forever Yours
Jacob. xx”

I read the note over and over again, soaking up the three words that stood out from the rest. A knock on the door started me and brought my thoughts crashing back down to Earth. I stuffed the note under my pillow and curled up, pretending to be asleep. I heard the door open and then footsteps padding along my floor. They stopped and someone sat on the end of my bed. I opened my eyes and turned to see who was there and to my surprise, it was Papa. He looked at me and smiled softy.
“Good morning son.” I nodded.
“Morning Papa.” He sat twiddling his thumbs for a few moments and then stood up and started to leave.
“Papa?” I called. He turned to me.
“Yes my son?” I looked down at my duvet guiltily.
“Papa. I’m sorry.” He nodded and turned away again.
“I know son. I know.” He said as he walked out of my room, closing the door behind him.

I sighed as I thought about everything that had happened in the past few weeks. I had finally found the person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, I had almost told Mother about him, but she didn’t want to know. Nowadays it seemed like she didn’t want me as a son, all of this because of who I loved. It was stupid, why couldn’t society just accept that everyone was different? This infuriated me even more when I thought about it. Was this what my life was going to be like for the rest of my life? Was I going to be thrown out by my own parents? Would they abandon me when I truly needed them? I guess I already knew the answer. I sighed and then glanced at the time. I saw that it was only half eleven which meant that I had ages to wait, but from where I was, it seemed like forever that I had to wait till I could see him, touch him and even kiss him. I sighed and turned on my side, hoping sleep would take me again, relieving me of the pain for the moment and bring tonight closer. When sleep finally came, I dreamed of Jacob.