Self Destruct

How many times can I break till I shatter?
So many pieces to pick up, but I'll bleed.
Watching transfixed the blood runs down my arm,
So very much a dark portrait of me.
Wishing away this terror so beautiful,
Hard to escape but I know that I must.
Wishing I was not so damn self-destructive,
Reveling in red blades,white smoke and lust.
Pointing myself in each wrong direction,
Slowly but surely becoming undone.