Not like myself

Today i woke up with this pain in me that was so strong that it took over my body. It was so painful, very hollow, empty, such an blank feeling. But painful none the less. My heart was beating so fast it felt as if it would jump straight out of my chest. I felt my pillow become wet and in search of what the cause of this was. I realize that it was coming from my eyes. I had tears coming from my eyes and didn't notice.(i guess my soul was crying). I began to try and control this feeling but the more i tried, the more tears poured out of my face. My breath became shorter as i fought to hold on to just one. So I close my eyes in an attempt to hod in the flulid that continue to rush from them. Nothing was working. I started to hear my heart thump in my ear durms. My head banging, banging,banging, and i couldn't control it.Then right in the mist of this all i realize something, to stop fighting, let go, release it and maybe it would subside on its own. So i laid on my back, and let it out. I looked to the ceiling and prayed.(my heart was broken) I didn't even know it. How could this be, how could i not know that my heart was broken . i guess because i didn't know i was in love with him.