The adventures of a brave tea pot

I was watching the green sky through the black window and I didn’t know if The Master will ever return to me. I promised I will wait for him, as long as it takes. Five years! Maybe less… one year! Who wouldn’t wait for his master one year? Nobody, that’s who. And I’m not the most loyal tea pot! I have my own life, too. I am more of the adventure loving tea pot. The kind women enjoy pouring tea from.
But no more talk, my friends, the time has come! I will dare what no other teacup dared before. I will venture in lands no one has ever heard of! I will fight beasts and monsters no living creature dreamed seeing. I will save the most pleasant tea and boil it in the clearest water and I shall pour the tea in the most exquisite tea cups held in the soft and most graceful hands of the most beautiful ladies who ever drank tea. That and more I shall do, in my adventure. The first thing I need to do before embarking on this dangerous mission is grow legs. A hard thing to do for an old rusty tea cup like me, but still strong, still strong, my friends. So I… I tried real hard and two pairs of legs started growing under me. But those were human legs! I could feel the blood going ten centimeters up and five down. So this is what it feels like to be one of them. Poor me… I wanted lizard legs: strong and cold blooded, not those pesky human legs. It hurts even if I stick a fork in one of them. How am I supposed to fight dragons with such “equipment”? This proves that if you want something badly you will get it, but your wish must be precise till the last detail, if not instead of cool lizard legs, you will get stupid weak human legs. Poor me, poor me…oh may Invane have mercy on the adventurers soul.
But there is no time for crying! The quest must be resumed. To arms, my brothers! Oh, how excited I am. As I said, arms are needed: sharp swords, big axes, long spears! I will use my metal skin to protect me in battle. But, for weapons, what is that thing you need. Ah! An arm, or even better two arms! So I wished, and tried real hard and pop! There I have it: two human hands, which weren’t the thing I wished for. But, life is life, and a tea pot can’t have it all. Complaining makes things worse, I thought, and because of the fear of having a human head also, I stopped crying for those beautiful lizard arms and legs, God how I wanted them…
Now, all I had to find were weapons. So like life taught me, instead of just go looking for them I started wishing for a double bladed sharp sword, an indestructible big, but in the same time light, shield with two lizard heads graved on it and a big ten meters long spear made out of the finest oak wood. And I did get them, only a slight different. The sword was not double bladed and neither sharp. It was more like a kitchen knife. The shield was round, I wanted a kite shaped one, and on it was graved a big green pickle and finally the spear was to big, way to big for me to held with such small human hands as I had, so I left it .It was indeed ten meters long. Why has Invane forsaken me? Why is he punishing me? Is not the tea pot entitled to everything he wants? Is not this the purpose of life? For what a God if he mistakes so awfully our prayers? I renounce it. I shall wish no more for things from Invane or any God.
The adventure starts. I find myself on the stove. Without further delay take my first step. A small step for me and the only one for tea pots everywhere. First I bended my left foot and put it down and then I took the other foot of the ground, bended it and put it in front of my left foot. I see a cupboard next to the cooker so I make it my first objective to get on it. This I do with no great difficulty, me being agile, beautiful, charming, strong, sensible and many more. I jumped to the cupboard and there I found the pickle jar.
“Good day, to you!” I said and he replied:
“By Gods, I can’t believe it! You walked all the way from the stove to here. You must have gone mad!”
“ I am not mad, my good pickle jar, I am in a quest to find my master, who has not drank tea for almost a day now. As a good servant as I am, I couldn’t stop worrying.”
“Oh, so you’re just a servant then…”
“ No I’m not! I’m an adventurer! I am the tea pot who walked all the way from The Stove to The Cupboard!”
“ I see that you have my picture on your shield, so as I see it, you surely must be my servant, and I your king.” Said the pickle jar confident in his words.
I didn’t know how to respond. He was right in a way, but after all I wanted a lizard on my shield, not a pickle. Oh, cruel faith!
“ I see… “ I said “Very well, my king, I shall fight and serve under your name! Long live the pickle jar!”
“Good….good! Now go, go, dear adventurer and bring honor to my name! God speed!”
I bawled and started moving along the cupboard. But what do you thing I see in the distance? The dreadful pepper and salt were guarding the edge of The Cupboard. Oh, how my blood started to boil! First, I thought to rise my rusty sword and attack the two enemies, who never harmed me in any way. But, I thought that I should approach them and talk to them, this being an occasion to fill some more papers. There I was: face to face with my two dreadful enemies. I said:
“ Run for cover, my enemies, because your end is near!” But didn’t get any response. So I tried again: “Speak, you beasts! Speak now, when you have the time!” But once again the silence was all the response I received. I was loosing my temper. Talking as I could see was for the weaklings and actions are for the brave. So I grabbed my sword and attacked my enemies, running as fast as I could. But in my run I’ve seemed to forgot that the purpose of this rush was to increase the impact my sword will have when it will hit the salt and then the pepper. But I went running through my two enemies who didn’t move and I found myself falling over the cupboards edge. But luckily the table was close so I landed on it. I rolled several times and I stopped because I hit a bowl. When I was back on my feet I could see that the bowl was filed with a delicious smelling stew. The spoon saw me and begged for help:
“Please, please help me sir! I’m boiling!”
“What is wrong with boiling?” I replied.
“It burns, it burns!” the spoon said.
“ And? I for one think that boiling is a most important activity and a pleasant one too.”
“ I agree to everything you say, sir, but it burns. Help me! I’m melting here!”
“ From what to save you?”
“ From boiling!”
“ Negative! You must understand the beauty of boiling! Boil in peace my friend. Some day you will understand its wonders!” This being said I left the spoon yelling. What a fool I thought, thinking boiling is a torture. That’s heaven in my opinion: the place where everybody boils in a huge tea pot.
On the table I found a big red tomato talking to an onion and a slice of bread. I approached them and said with a warm voice:
“ Good day, my fellow travelers! I am an adventurous tea pot, serving and fighting under The Pickle Jar king and I’m in a mission to find my master. Who are you, my dear friends.”
The onion looked a bit funny at me and he replied:
“We don’t like your kind’ round here. With your fancy weapons and your fancy talking and all. Who do you think you are?”
I never heard such impudence! How dare he talk to me like I’m a ordinary tea pot? Then I noticed something strange. I had a nose. Not only a nose, but ears too and hey were human ! I never wished for something like this! I must have looked like a hideous beast! No wonder the onion talked to me like this. The tomato looked at me, and he frowned when he saw my nose and ears. He said:
“ Look! He thinks he’s too big to talk with us! Let me punch him in the nose!” I grabbed my sword and stayed on guard, hiding behind my shield, ready for an attack. The onion said:
“ Oh, you want to fight, ay?”
“ I will not let you insult my honor anymore!” I said and in an instant I hit the onion with my sword. But I hit it with the unsharpened side so no real harm was done. But instead the tomato started rolling fast in my direction bringing me down on the table. Then the onion pushed me and rolled me to the edge of the table. One last push and I would have been on the floor. At first I wanted to pray to Invane and wish for wings, but I remembered there was no Invane so I was pushed over the edge and I hit the floor . The pain quickly drowned me and I couldn’t move my arms or legs. My sword and shield were laying near me. The table was so different now. I always thought the legs were underneath but actually they were on top. The hole kitchen looked very strange. I could see the pickle jar and I started swearing him, because I blamed all this on him and his poor and clumsy reign allowing such dreadful thugs like the tomato, onion and the piece of bread roam free and attack brave adventurers like me.
As I laid there on the floor unable to move, desperation came over me, destroying all my hopes of ever finding my master. I though my quest was finished and no noble lady will ever drink tea from me. Sadness came over me and I saw only one way out of this misery: praying. I prayed to the skies and when I was close to finish my wish and prayer the door suddenly opened. A shadow came nearer and a hand grabbed me putting me back on the stove.
My wish was granted: The Master is back! Joy to the world! Oh, I longed for his warm eyes, for his soft skin, for every heavenly thing he possessed. There is a God! One that gives you exactly what you want! It has no name so I will call it simply God!
Then I became human: a woman to be precise.