Cookie Grandma

In my childhood lies a blur of memories and snap shots of the life that I have grown up in. A large part of the confusing blur derives from the moments that I have spent with my grandma. Although these memories are small significant strands in a tangled mess, I can sort through the images and memories to find the one truth: my grandma Diane is and has always been the most significant puzzle piece to my life. I simply know this because of all of the things we have both experienced together, whether they were bad or good. Although I have only lived a mere 17 years, the wisdom and knowledge I have gained has been collected through the harsh struggles of the reality of life. Although they may have weakened my heart, I know that they also toughened my skin. During my childhood, my grandma Diane knew the struggles that I faced and was always by my side to help fight them. As I close my eyes and remember all the little things that we learned from one another, I can picture the many reasons that my grandma is my hero.
         There are those who go through frequent rituals of some sort, whether they be a little bit strange or simply normal. Although my Grandma and I are strange, we still try to act some what normal. The tradition on my dad's side of the family for many generations of women is to pass down the secret recipe of the chocolate chip cookie. Although simple and not too complex, the chocolate chip cookie was and is everyone's favorite thing to snack on. In the event that my cousins and I would get together at grandma's for the weekend, the chaotic trip to the grocery store in my grandma's small Chevalier was not too much of a long haul for the desired taste of grandma's chocolate chip cookies. 
         The making of the chocolate chip cookies was also quite the event. Growing up with three other cousins, my grandma always made sure that everyone of us was treated fairly. When concocting a large batch of cookie doe, my grandma would make sure everyone got a turn to put in one ingredient in at a time. Once everyone has gotten a turn, my grandma would whip the ingredients together, in fear that us little one's would spill it all over the kitchen floor. Once she would be done, all four of my cousins and I would stick our fingers in the sugary cookie dough batch and eat what we could until grandma would pop them in the oven for baking. At the announcement by my grandma “cookies are done!”, my cousins and I would race to the kitchen like zombies who needed a sugar fix. Although there are misconceptions that most older people are cranky and too worrisome, my grandma is neither of those. Instead, while we screamed and ran through the house on the occasional sugar high, she would laugh at our foolish behavior, correcting us along the way if need be.
         The majority of my most cherished moments remains in memory of the times that I have spent with my grandma. Most of the time when I was with my grandma, my other cousins would also be apart of the fun; however, I also remember times when I felt closest to my grandma. Through becoming close to my grandma, I gave and received many tangible, but also mental gifts of wisdom. The gifts that I most cherish are those gifts of wisdom that I would have never learned, had it not been for my grandmas advice.
         My grandma and I both knew that when I was growing up that things were not always easy for me. Born into a world where your chances of failing are greater than succeeding, my grandma helped me to pull through the gap and encouraged me to reach for my goals. There are many specific times that I can remember my grandma coming to my rescue in times of need. For instance, whenever I needed something in particular, my grandma was there to make sure I had it. As a child, I can remember my grandma buying me clothes, glasses, and getting my picture taken. Without actually saying anything, my grandma's actions spoke louder than her words. Until I grew up, I would not know how much my grandma would care about me until then.
         As soon as I hit my pre-teen stage, I began to learn more about life from my grandma through many times of company and conversations. Many of these memories that I learned the most from come from when my grandma and I would travel up north. In order for me to see my dad who lives three hours away in Wausau, my grandma, who was also conveniently headed up north, would take me along to meet my dad in a small town called Wittenburg. On the road up north, my grandma and I would talk about our lives and confide in one another's ideas and thoughts. If I were ever having trouble with something, my grandma would always try to give the best advice that she knew. There was never anything that my grandma would not try to help me with if I came to her for advice.
         The most confusing part of growing up was simply learning to grow up. At a very young age, I learned to somehow cope with what negativity I had in my life while also learning that not everything falls into the right place. With the reality of life constantly poking at my back, I confided in my grandma for advice on various situations.  Although mostly kind and patient, my grandma would always tell me what she thought about the situation and what my next action should be. I can remember a time once when my grandma and I were headed out to eat at a restaurant.
         “How's everything going at home Sam?” asked my grandma.
         “It's alright,” I said with a sigh.
         “Now I know you better than that,” replied my grandma. “C'mon, spit it out.”
         “Things have been rough at home with my dad,” I whispered softly.
         “Have you talked to your mom or dad about it?” asked my grandma.
         “No!” I exclaimed. “They will just yell at me anyways, that's what they always do. I swear that they hate
         me sometimes.”
         “Now Sam,” replied my grandma. “You quit making assumptions. I know that things are hard at home,          but you have to work yourself through it the best that you can. The only way to fight your anger is to          fight fire with fire.  Talk to your dad in a calm manner and he might understand.”
         “Well...,” I replied.
         “Well what?” questioned my grandma.  “I mean really, you know what to do. Now that your getting          older, it's time to start making choices in life and this is one of them.”
         I thought long and hard about what my grandma had to say about the predicament I faced. She told me the way that it was and exactly what I should do. I always admired my grandma later for her ability to be firm and strong with her words of wisdom. Her advice helped me to see things clearer.
         As we continued to make our weekly drive, our two and a half hour trips would become something to look forward to. As the road became a blur of familiar stops and streets, we chatted away about our new excitements or conflicts in life while watching the road turn into a hazy gray blur. I did not mind sitting in her small black car for two hours because I enjoyed the ease of company from my grandma.  Every time, I would learn more about her and she would learn more about me. I soon found that I was more like my grandma than I ever imagined.
         Being like my grandma is something that I can say I am not ashamed about. We are not alike simply because of the looks or interests, but in the way that we both view the world around us. Despite the fact that my grandma has lived longer, we both understand one another's logic and understanding of what things we must face in life. Although we are much alike, there are many qualities that my grandma possesses that I aspire to someday hold. Such qualities might include caring, thoughtful, and joyful.
         The most special quality that my grandma has is her sense of life and the way that she always tries to make every moment count. Every time I see my grandma, who now lives three hours away, she acts as though she hasn't seen me in years, even though it may have only been a month or so. Her warm and embracing hugs give you a sense of the love and care that she has for you. Then, when you see her smile and laugh, she looks as though she hasn't aged a bit because the creases in her skin are overshadowed by the gleam of happiness in her bright blue eyes. Sometimes I will notice something new about her when I visit her again, for example, her hairstyle or choice of clothing; however, most of the time I recognize the grandma that I have always known and loved.
         My grandma is also notorious for her loud giggles and warm smiles. Although some might mistake her joyfulness as obnoxious, many perceive it as her way of showing love and happiness for her surroundings. There have been many instances that my grandma has shown her thoughtful side for myself and others. A series of memories that I have gathered from my grandma was from her willingness to include me in every family event. Although my father began to fade from my life in my later years of childhood, my grandma made sure that make me feel as though I was still one of the most important members of the family. If ever she was doing something that was important or she thought I would be interested in, she would make sure that I would be included. To this day my grandma still asks me if I would like to “tag along” or go just for fun. In any case, my grandma has always been thoughtful when it comes to others needs and wants.
         My grandma once told me a story about a women that changed her life when she was younger.  Married young, my grandma did not have very many options when it came to supporting her family. This left her with very little options for jobs and only one answer: factory work. For many years, my grandma worked in many factory settings. Although it was hard to believe, my grandma has not always been so joyful. One day, my grandma was working with a co-worker during a night shift. Obviously tired and cranky, my grandma was in no mood to be conversing with others. When the co-worker asked what her problem was, she gave her the nastiest, meanest look possible.
         “You know miss,” said her co-worker. “No ones ever going to appreciate or like a woman who can't put a smile on her face.”
         My crabby grandma had little to say in response. All that she could do was mumble under her breath at the woman who dared to judge her attitude. Years later, my grandma turned out to be the exact opposite of what her co-worker had claimed she would be. When my grandma had heard her say that, something inside her told herself to change for the better, and so she did.
         I'm glad that my grandma is who she is today, because without her, I don't know who else could be my hero. To this day, I look back on the memories we have collected together and realize that my grandma was more than just my hero, she was also my best friend. For many simplistic reasons, such as her warm smile and inviting eyes, she reminds me of what I used to call her when I was younger, cookie grandma. A chocolate chip has a plain brown exterior with small dots of chocolate. My grandma, rather far from plain, has many chocolate chip qualities that add to her sweetness. It may sound a bit corny, but I realized that what I called her as a child makes more sense now than it ever did before. In return for her greatness, I feel as though this is an ode to the impact she has made on so many people, including myself. As an ode to her greatness, I feel that she should know that with her change in character, she has taught me how to change myself as well. Had she not been such a major role in my life, who knows if I would have found any other grandma named cookie grandma.