Comedy Sketch - corrupt police station

POLICE STATION


One police officer and a small boy in one room, talking through I molestation incident. In the other room three other police officers are watching through a double sided mirror, placing bets on where the boy was touched.

OFFICER 1; Dan
LITTLE BOY: Johnny

OFFICER 2: Neil
OFFICER 3: Jazz
OFFICER 4: Pete



D; Johnny, now I know this has been an extremely traumatic experience for you, and it is for anyone going through this, a very delicate matter. With the information you’ve given us we can start to look for suspects, and begin to follow up certain leads. But in order to build up some kind of a case we do need a few more details from you.

J; (head in hands) …ok.

D; (pulls out a small doll) now I’m just going to ask you a simple question about the incident. All I want you to do is point to the place on the doll where the man touched you.

J; (boy looks at the doll up and down)

D; in your own time Johnny. In your own time.

J; (Johnny slowly lifts his finger and points at the dolls crotch area)

(the room next door erupts with the officers joking and shouting)

N; I fucking knew it, who else had penis?

J; your kidding, Pete had a fiver on the penis.

P; what did I say jazz? What did I say? I knew it, textbook fiddling.

N; what did you bet Pete?

P; I went and put a fiver on the arse didn’t I.

(all of them are laughing at this stage)

N; What? You idiot who bets on the arse, wrong age bracket.
J; Mate you wait till Dan gets in here, he put fifteen quid down on him touching his elbow. (all of the officers laugh)

(back in the other room)

D; err never mind that Johnny, you’ve done very well. I wont be a moment im just going to file the report. Remember its all over now, If theres anything you need just call for me. (Johnny nods).

(Dan leaves the room and goes into the one next door)

N; here he is.

D; (already grinning) what was I thinking, I cant believe I went for the elbow, I thought he was bluffing. (pulls out fifteen quid and puts it on the table). So who bet penis?

N; Me and Jazz, textbook call.

D; Well Jazz cleans up again then. Nice one lads, and I suppose Pete went for the arse again?

P; alright Dan im not the one who put fifteen quid on the elbow. (laughs)

J; yeah whats all that about Dan, you’ve bet that like three times. Who abuses kids elbows? (chuckling)

D; People do this shit, trust me.

J; Yeah im sure (puts on scared kids voice) ‘o please mister rapist before you do this can I just nip home and get my elbow pads’ (all laugh apart from Dan)

P; Yeah best get the knee pads as well, just incase. (all laugh apart from Dan)

D; look, it happens.

(all are laughing)

J; Well you say that Dan but when was the last time someone molestered a kid via the elbow.

D; Can we please just leave it. (slightly angry tone)

P; ooo…(pause) think we hit a nerve boys.

D; You weren’t there Pete!...alright….You weren’t there.

(mood changes, others look down as Dan and Pete are locked in each others gaze.)