A tribute

A tribute to Elvis on the thirtieth Anniversary of his Death



When he died….straining.

I often visualise that he heard Screaming Jay Hawkins,

belting out his ‘Constipation blues’.

But maybe as he laid there

I prefer to think he heard in his dying brain ‘Blue suede shoes’.



No one told him: ‘Elvis’

“Jeez man- you are fat…

Stop eating those burgers with fried banana fillings

No one’s going to shag you

Because man you are the spitting image of a fridge.”



No one said: “Elvis:

Try some roughage.

Try a bit of shredded wheat”;

He just got in his plane when he wanted a treat

and flew two thousand miles for burgers to eat.



So is he a legend?

Yes!  And not just for his voice

Or his hip swivelling thrusting machinations

Or his churned out movies

Or his spangly outfits.



But he is also an Icon.

Due to his size.

Due to the fact that he ‘Ate all the pies’.

Due to the fact that he is the prototype

for all the slobs and gutbuckets of the world,

who eat lots of Cheeseburgers and fat

who sit on the toilet, frustrated

Constipated again………..



Who one day will meet Elvis,

lying convulsing on the floor,

When the fat has taken the heart too , too much.

And Elvis will stand proud

Saying ‘Return to sender’

Finishing with ‘Thank you very much’.