RIDING WITH A WILDLIFE ENTHUSIAST

RIDING WITH A WILDLIFE ENTHUSIAST

My head bumped against the side window of the car as it swerved and then the tires squealed in protest when my husband hit the brakes. I was thrown forward and my seat belt gave me a love hug. I dropped my book and it slid down my leg into the floor. The brakes lights on the car in front of us were sucking our car too close to its back bumper. The wildlife adventure had begun.

“What are you looking at?” I asked my husband.

“Not my fault if the car in front decided to turn off,” he grumbled.

“Do you want me to drive?”

“No, I got it,” he snapped.

He had his eyeballs on the country-side looking for wildlife and almost didn’t see the brake lights in front of us. Our relaxing drive had become an animal hunt. A half mile farther and the car in front of us turned off, leaving the road ahead clear of traffic. I watched his head swivel back and forth scanning the fields and forest for any sign of movement. He was like a hawk soaring over the landscape looking for prey. I knew what was coming next. I think I would be disappointed if he didn’t ask.

“Do you see any deer, dear?” His eyes came back to the highway but didn’t linger long.

“No. No deer, dear. Not even a turkey,” I replied and dug my book out of the floor and began reading again.

“Oh! Look! Do you see them?” I jerk my head up; my eyes cross when I try to focus on his hand that is less than an inch from my nose. Uncrossing my eyes I follow his crooked index finger, which is pointing out the front window, but I knew he wanted me to look out my side window. Straining to adjust my eyes, I’m not sure if I should look in the field or along the tree line.

“No I missed it,” I grunted. “What was it?” I rub my neck wondering if I had whiplash.

“Deer! Three of them.” He was proud of himself and he lifted his bushy, black eyebrows with excitement.

I gave up reading and started looking for wildlife. I scanned the countryside to find any kind of living animal before he did.  The only thing I saw was a couple of dead armadillos, belly up on the side of the road. Not good enough to brag about. A few more miles down the highway and I can’t spot anything, not even a dog, so out of desperation I said, “Wow! Did you see that buck? It had a really big rack.”

“Did he have some does with him?” The car wobbled with his enthusiasm.

“Yep, a few. Not sure how many.” I couldn’t believe I just lied to my husband. Was it my conscience prickling me or did he give me an ‘I doubt it look’? In shame I picked up my book and tried to read but my eyes would wander from the book to the beautiful countryside.

Minutes tick by and then the car weaves between the white lines on the highway. “Look up! Is that a bald eagle?

I look up and say, “No! It’s just the roof of the car.”

“That’s not funny,” he retorted. “Look out your window.”

Craning my head to the side I look up into the sky and there gliding on the air currents is a beautiful adult bald eagle.

“You’re right, it’s a bald eagle. I can see its white tail and head.”

“I knew it had to be a bald eagle because its wing span was too large to be a buzzard.” He settled back in his seat as a contented smile spread through his salt and pepper beard.

The miles slide by and the radio is playing the Golden Oldies and we sing along. The traffic is sparse and my husband’s head swivels from side to side looking for more wildlife. At times I think he looks out the driver’s window too long, so I start watching the traffic ahead.

“Brake lights ahead,” I said calmly and pushed on the non-existent brakes on the passenger’s side of the car.

“Where?” he asked.

“Where?” I push harder on the floor hoping to slow the car down. “Where do you think? Have you ever seen a deer with brake lights attached to their rumps? Dang! In front of you!” I panted. He stepped on the brakes bring the car to a hard stop a few short feet behind a beat-up truck that turned off the highway onto a gravel road.

“Just a truck turning off.” he smiled and patted my knee.

The hills are gentle and rolling and the curves are easy to manage putting me in a false sense of security. My eyes get heavy with sleep and I nod off.

“Wow! Look! Look! Did you get to see it?”

“No, I missed it,” I said groggily.

“That is the biggest long horn bull I have ever seen. His horns have to be three feet long or better.” He was still looking out his side window.

“RRRRRuuuummmmmmmm” the two right tires complained as they went over the rumble strip onto the shoulder of the highway.

“Where are we going?” My body tensed and leaned to the left because the side-ditch was coming up fast. The car jerked a little to the left and the right side of the car went down the shoulder of the road.

“I guess to take a look at the shoulder of the road. How is it?” he smirked with a twinkle in his dark brown eyes.

“I don’t like cleaning out the side-ditches with my side of the car.” I inhaled deeply and tried to relax. “I can’t read, or sleep, or even look for wildlife because you are all over the road. One of these days a Highway Patrolman will stop you, thinking you’re a drunk driver,” I rambled.

“Well, at least I stay on my half of the highway,” he said pointedly.

“You’re right. You use your entire half of the highway, from the center line to the edge of the shoulder. Do you want me to drive so you can look around?”

“No. I got it. I can look at wildlife and drive at the same time.” He barked angrily. We were both quiet for a while, then with a smile on his face he said, “We haven’t wrecked yet, have we?”

We looked at each other for a few seconds and then started laughing. “No we haven’t wrecked yet, but you need to be more careful,” I warned.