Rembering to Breathe, (Pt 1)

They say that time heals all wounds. For me, there’s only too much of it yet never quite enough at the same time. I don’t know who they are, but I wish desperately to believe them. Day after day, night after night, shadows of the past crawl over my skin, causing it to prickle from its intensity. Hour after hour and minute after minute I pray… no, I wish for it to end; for there to be an end for me to go to, but there never is.



The years pass and fade together like droplets of paint running down a still wet canvas. You don’t know where one brush-stroke starts and another finishes. That’s how life is to me. The world is full of people and always has been ever since time began. But people are born and when they die all that remains is I.



People at all times strive to stay young and beautiful, looking their best. If the Fountain of Youth actually existed people would be pushing and shoving each other to obtain a single drop. To be young and beautiful for all of eternity, most would call this a gift. I call it my curse.



Year after year, century after century I have lived on this earth. Ever since time began I have existed. While everyone around me grew old, cursed me for my youth, and died; I lived on. At times I felt almost one with them, the mortals, only I had to remind myself to breathe in order to blend in. I went through this endless charade of living until I finally couldn’t bring myself to endure it any longer. Watching people around me suffer and die for centuries, people I cared for, people I loved; it nearly killed me. Not in the literal sense of course, but you get the picture.



After so long of suffering alongside them for I don’t even know how long, I stopped. I never stopped caring about them, not completely anyway, but I stopped ‘living’ as one of them. For thousands of years I stopped ‘living’, always wishing I could stop the actual thing. For thousands of years I exiled myself from where the mortals lived their lives. I was never so far away that I couldn’t see them, just distant enough so they couldn’t see me. I was just far enough away as to keep me out of their lives but close enough to know it still existed.



One day however, that all changed. One day I began to live again. I don’t know why it was in that period of time for time is so diminutive to me. However I do know one thing, it was because of her: the radiant maiden who fell from the heavens and reminded me to breathe again, if only for a minute in time. If you ask me what made her so special that I gave up my ‘life’ to live hers, I can’t tell you because I myself do not know the answer to that question. Why was she so special, you ask? She just was.



____________________________________



Right now most stories would start out by describing the hot blistering sun or the gentle caress of the ocean breeze. My story has neither. It all started with rain.



The rain was coming down in blinding sheets of gray and white. Most people stayed sheltered in the privacy of their own homes and would recall the age old saying that it's raining cats and dogs, but not I. Then again I was walking this earth long before that saying ever came into existence and I longed for the freedom the rain brought. It has always been one of the few times I can venture where I please and not be burdened with the seductive thrall of living. The rain had always been my special time until the one night when everything changed. Then it became special for an entirely different reason.



I was about my usual walk, savoring how the chill of the rain made my skin dance, sending shivers down my spine. I always loved how it made me feel as if minuscule volts of electricity were dancing over my skin. It made me feel alive and that is a feeling I don't often come by. That night however the water droplets didn't hold their usual magic over me. Something wasn't quite right. A feeling inside of me buzzed causing the fine hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end. I couldn't get over the feeling that somehow someone, or something, was watching me.



I looked about me but all I saw dissolved into nothingness. There were trees and a few houses off in the distance, but it all faded into the black of night. Time seemed to still the longer I remained standing. Something, no, someone was there watching me. I just had yet to find out from where.



My eyes continued to search the night while my mind raced with thoughts and feelings I hadn't felt in years. It had been so long since I closed myself off from the world and everything associated with it. All the sensations I had long since abandoned bombarded me, drowning me in a sea of emotion. Struggling to keep my head above the rocky water weakened me more than I thought was possible. I knew it would not be long before my composure brought me down to my knees and that was when I saw her.



The moonlight radiated off her tresses spilling down her back, framing her with a halo of light. She sat on a rooftop of a nearby house some 200ft away, legs dangling over the edge of the stone shingles. I was sure with the darkness and the distance that she could not see me yet something lured me to her. Silently, as my years have taught me, I made my way through the foliage until I could observe her more clearly than before.



I had never seen her before, I was sure of that. Still she seemed almost too familiar, as if I were looking at my very soul. Never before had I felt this way about anyone, least of all a mortal. And never before had I been so right and not even known it.



I did not speak to her that night nor the night after. At first I just watched. For so long I had distanced myself from humanity, hiding behind veils of stone. I desperately wanted to reach out and brush her cheek with my hand. I wanted to feel her lips upon mine, passion dancing across our skin. I wanted to hold her close and protect her from the harsh world I have come to know, love, and despise. I wanted to see her happy and hear the sound of her laughter. Most of all I wanted to be the cause of that happiness. But I had no idea how to begin. I had no idea how to approach her.



For months this went on, my watching and yearning for what I could not attain. A time or two I made an attempt to approach my maiden but always stopped short before I got too close. One part of me was terrified out of my mind that if I met her she would think me beneath her. The other part was all too aware that if I never tried then I would forever wonder if it was me she would love. At times I didn't know which was worse, knowing that she would never love me or forever wondering if she would.



I had started to become more courageous in my courting efforts. Instead of watching from afar I would venture closer bit by bit. On one such morning I watched as she danced, her hair wild around her shoulders and her feet gliding soundlessly over the dew-covered grass. I could tell her skin was prickled by the morning breeze and I could smell the lavender of her hair that drifted upon the air. So soft were her steps that it almost seemed like her feet never touched the damp earth beneath her. In that moment she was perfect, a beautiful apparition of serenity I yearned to possess with all of my being. Twirling with arms outspread, the soft light of the dawn bestowed upon her a halo of light that added a glow to her flowing hair. Her tresses performed their own ballet of swirls while she danced. And in that moment I fell irrevocably and unconditionally in love.



Lost in the ecstasy from watching I barely noticed as she turned in my direction, a smile gracing her face. Realization dawning, I watched in disbelief as she slowly glided my way. I knew that I should make my leave, but I found myself frozen with indecision. My head was screaming at me to run, telling me that I had no right to pull her into my darkness. My heart on the other hand was pleading with me to join her in the warmth of the sun. A moment too long I paused, wondering if I could leave behind the shackles of apathy and make a life with her in the light.



In the moment I paused she had come to me, her hand outstretched, beckoning for me to grasp it with my own. Right then my head and heart became one and I could no longer resist. Gently I took her hand in mine and allowed her to lead me out onto the grass that was her stage. With her hand in mine and our bodies intertwined we danced to the lull of music only the two of us could hear. For what felt like a millenia we stayed like that. It was a glorious dream I wished would never end.



But like dreams, they all come to an end. Faintly in the distance I could hear the voices of people I would later come to know as her friends and who would even later become mine. They were nearing the clearing and I knew that I had to leave. Now was not the time for confrontation with more of her kind. Remorsefully I pulled myself from her inviting embrace. With a brush of my lips on her cheek I began to make my leave.



"Wait!" She called after me, the sound of her voice stilled me in my tracks but I dared not look back. "Will I ever see you again? I don't even know your name."



My name... such a simple yet complicated request. I have taken many names through the years but a part of me knew it was not a falsity that she sought. The name I had been given I have never known yet I knew it was imperative that I be as honest with her as I could be. Before I was out of sight I turned to her one last time, the words dieing on my lips.



"My name is Ancion."



____________________________________



Every story has a beginning, middle, and an end. Even though I had lived countless centuries before I first saw my maiden, it wasn't until I met her that my beginning began.



It might have been the way the pale light of the moon reflected off her hair, or maybe it was the way our arms wrapped around each other, seeking comfort and framilarity that no one else could give. But whatever force it was it had me pulling her closer to my chest and pushing her from me at the same time. That same force drew her to the balls of her slender feet and had me lowering my head to reach hers. It was an unstoppable force. That unstoppable force was also our first kiss.



I would like to tell you that time stood still for me in that moment, but it didn't. That such moment came much later in my, our, life. Our first kiss was over more soon than I would have liked. The second her soft lips were upon mine and her delicate fingers tangled in my hair, I wished my life would still forever in that kiss. But no sooner had our lips touched than were we separated again.



Her eyes were closed, a ghost of a smile on her face. Her eyelashes danced over her skin, pale and shimmering in the moonlight. Her breath trickled across my skin causing goose flesh to prickle on my arms. What wonderful creature was this that could melt me with just one kiss? A goddess in human form, she must be. No other mortal had ever affected me this way. No other could make my breath go short or my knees grow week, and I still didn't know her name. I knew then no matter what her name may be she would always be meu amor, my love.



I could have stayed like that forever in her arms, watching the moonlight dance across her hair. I would have preferred it rather than the muffled sound of calling voices just over the hill. My time with my beloved this time was even shorter than the last. The voices were those of her friends and they were calling for her.



"Adriel!" The voices continued, becoming stronger, warranting her undivided attention. "Adriel," it called again. "Addy!"



So perfect a name for such a perfect goddess, or angel in this case. My fallen angel from the heavens above. I was not ready to let her go quite so soon but I feared I must. I feared she might not be ready for her two worlds to collide, her friends and I.



"I should go," the sound of my voice drew her back to me, my breath warm on her chilled skin. "But I don't wish to leave you so soon."



I don't know why I felt obligated to confide in her as I did but deep in me I knew I could never keep things from her.



"Then don't," she replied, gazing into my eyes. Those eyes told me more than I ever hoped for, more than I longed she could give. "I'm not ready to loose you yet. I just found you again."



I smiled at her. "I will never leave you."



"Promise me?"



"Till the last breath I breathe."



Instead of pushing away and disappearing in the night's shadows I stayed and held her in my arms while the voices steadily grew closer. I finally found her, meu amor, and I was never letting her go. I already knew I would find a way to kill myself before I ever willingly hurt her.



We stood there on the moonlit hilltop, Adriel and I, arms wrapped around each other and her head rested on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and savored this moment while it was still just the two of us. For a moment in time I could pretend Adriel and I were the only two people left on Earth. And for that moment in time only the two of us existed.



Once the voices were nearly upon us Adriel stepped out of my grasp and exchanged our embrace to hold my hand in hers. That alone left a small smile gracing my features as the faces of her friends appeared before us. The fact that she was not ashamed of us and wanted me in her life meant more to me than all the riches in the world.



There were four heads total, two male and two female. One auburn, one blond, one brunette, and one... multicolored? Was that really pink in that girl's hair? As the group grew closer still I realized it wasn't only pink in that black head of hair but red and blond streaks as well. I was so mesmerized by her hair that I almost didn't recognize the similarity to meu amor. I did notice once I looked away from the girl's hair. This mystery girl and Adriel shared the same complexion, nose, and chin. Sisters I thought. This girl must be Adriel's younger sister, but definitely not smaller. The mystery girl had at least five inches on her sister's petite frame.



"Addy," the multicolored girl spoke as they neared,"Where were you? We've been looking for you all over. Why didn't you answer you phone? And who's this?" The mystery sister eyed me, looking me up and down, neither pleasure nor distaste graced her features.



"Sorry," Adriel said, pulling out her cell phone. "The battery must have died again."



"That still doesn't explain who this is," the red-haired girl replied, her too looking me over. "So who is this who has taken our friend from us?"



Adriel turned and faced me, our hands no longer entwined. Nerves were coursing through me, putting me on edge. This is what it must be like when meeting the parents for the first time. At least those lucky bastards only have two to deal with, I thought. I have four.



"Guys, " Adriel said. "This is Ancion. Ancion, these are my friends. The red-head is Lysa, the blond dork is Matty, the brunette over there is Alex. We've been friends since we were kids. And the annoying one over there is my bratty sister, Callista."



"Don't you dare call me Callista," Adriel's sister interjected. "Call me Cali. Only my teachers call me Callista and only if I'm in trouble."



"It's nice to meet you, Cali," I held out my hand. "Although Callista is a beautiful name. I don't know why you don't like using it."



"How would like growing up with a name like Callista?" Cali said. "Kids are mean. Our parents must have been high on something when they named Addy and I. I mean come on, can you get more weird or old?"



"Our parents were archaeologists," Adriel added. "Cali was born in Greece and I was born in Israel, hence the names. Shortly after Cali was born our parents moved back to the states so we could have a normal life growing up."



"Yeah, like you get treated normal with a name like Callista," Cali told her sister.



"Well at least you don't have a boy's name," Adriel said back.



"Yeah," Cali replied with a smug smile on her face," At least I wasn't supposed to be a boy. You know, Addy, maybe Mom and Dad really did like me best."



With that Adriel let out a screech and went after her sister. "Take that back you brat!" Adriel yelled playfully.



"Not until you admit I'm the superior one!" The two sisters took off, one after the other.



"Alright you two, stop," the brunette man stepped in the vacated space the two sisters left. "You're really making an impression on Adriel's new 'friend'. I'm Alex by the way. It's nice to finally meet you."

We shook hands.



"It's nice to meet you, too." I told him. "So, are they always like this together?" I looked over where Adriel and her sister were chasing each other, as carefree as small children.



"Only on days ending in 'Y'." Alex and I both laughed while watching the two girls. "You get used to it."



"I'm Matteo, but everyone calls me Matty," the blond haired yound man interjected, making a "V" shape with his fingers before holding it out for me to shake. "Live long and prosper."



I shook his hand but I wasn't sure what to make of this specimen. When Adriel called him a dork I just assumed she meant he was smart. Now I wasn't so sure. Thankfully the red-head saved me from further conversation with this rare creature.



"I'm Lysa," the red-head said." "Ignore Matty, he's our guestage. So, you're the one keeping Adriel from us?" She winked at me, playfully.



I laughed. I liked her.



"Yes," I told her. "But I haven't known Adriel that long yet. I hope that will change though."



"As long as you make her happy I don't care. Adriel hasn't been really happy in a while," Lysa informed me before her face turned grave. "However if you hurt her there will be no place you can hide and I will find you."



"Understood." A small smile graced my face. It was nice to see how deeply this strange group of people cared for meu amor. Quite touching actually. Then a thought occurred to me, something Lysa had said.



"Guestage?" In all my years I had never come across such a... unique term. "Is he not your friend?"



"Unfortunately." Alex grimced as if trying to rid his mouth of a sour taste.



"Alexander Eugene Gibson!" Lysa yelled at her friend, smacking him upside his head. "Don't you dare talk about Matty like that. We've all been friends for years."



"But what is a 'guestage'?" I was more confused now than ever.



"You know how little kids usually play games like cops and robbers or cowboys and indians?" Lysa didn't wait for a reply. "Well, Alex, Adriel and I played hostile takeover. One day we all wanted to be the bad guys. The only problem was if we were all the bad guys then we didn't have anyone for us to kidnap for ransom in order to take over the world."



"And that's where Matty comes in," Alex took over. "He wondered into our section of the playground so I decided he would be our hostage. The only problem was he refused to leave when the game was over. Hence the term guestage. We just couldn't get rid of him."



"He grows on you after a while." Lysa gave Matty a one armed hug. The blond haired creature seemed thrilled at this comment.



"I'll have to take your word for it," I said. "And 'Eugene'?"



"Never mention that again and we'll be good." Alex seemed physically pained at hearing his middle name said aloud. "My parents had a sick sense of humor when they named me. I mean, who in their right mind gives their child a name like Eugene?"



I laughed. Alex was quite a character. They all were actually. For once, in all my years, I couldn't wait to get to know this strange group of people. I felt like I was finally coming home.