Natalie Miracle

“Natalie Miracle”
By
Amber Holt

January 5, 2007

ONE:

Terra stared at the blood on the tissue and felt anguish overtake her. She had been so certain this time, and had showed all the symptoms. She had even planned on taking The Test tomorrow. She felt a tear drop land on her thigh.

“Honey, I’ve got to leave for work now” Terra heard her husband, Hunter, call out. How will I tell him? He has been so excited and sure, right along with me.

“Honey, are you okay?” she heard him call out through the bathroom door.

Hunter came through the door, and she could see the look of worry and concern on his face. The only response she could make was to lift up the bloody tissue in her shaky hand.

“Oh God, Terra, I’m so sorry. Should I stay home today?”

That’s the last thing I need. I’m already a failure at giving him a child. Now, do I need to be coddled because of it? She stood up and flushed her red failure down the toilet after tending to herself.

Terra took a deep breath and sighed out, “No, you go. I’ll be fine. It’s not like this doesn’t keep happening. Maybe we should just listen to Dr. Benson and accept that I’m barren.”

She heard Hunter sigh and saw him slump his shoulders and wipe a tear from his eye. Guilt washed over her.

“Terra, you’re not barren. Dr. Benson said that it would be difficult for us. It will happen in its own good time, when it’s meant to be” he said as he held her close. Terra felt unworthy of this show of affection.

“I’ll be home as soon as I can” Hunter said soothingly, as he let her go and left.

Terra heard the door close, leaving her alone. She went to the home office to look at it. She had taped it to the top of her monitor several months ago, hoping it would give her strength. Sometimes it did, sometimes it didn’t.

“Said there ain’t no use in crying, ‘cause it will only, only drive you mad.”

This particular Led Zeppelin lyric had resonated with her, and every twenty-eight days, she would find herself sitting in the office chair, staring at it for the longest time.

Robert Plant didn’t help that day. Terra found herself curled up on the bed crying, as the cramps literally squeezed the promise from her body and the cotton greedily sapped it.

Terra felt as bitter as the snows that fell outside over the next couple of months. The months passed, and turned into the seasons. The trees budded and life sprang from every one of Mother Nature’s corners, but no life budded within her. The heat of the summer sun brought a delightful glow to everything, but still she did not possess “The Glow”. Autumn brought its end, causing everything to wither and fall. The dry, reddened leaves fell from the trees, much like the droplets that continued to fall from her. A year had finally come to pass.

TWO:

Damn winter flu, thought Terra, as she threw up again. She had felt so weak and run down, and just couldn’t shake it. She feared that she would dehydrate if she didn’t stop being sick every morning. Hunter insisted that she go to the doctor.

Dr. Benson gave Terra a thorough exam, asking her several questions.

“Tender breasts?”

“Yes.”

“Nausea?”

“Yes.”

“Vomiting?”

“Yes.”

“Fatigue?”

“Yes.”

“Frequent urination?”

“Yes.”

“This nausea and vomiting, what time of day is it the most pronounced?”

“The mornings.”

“When was your last menstrual period?”

“I don’t know.”

“Haven’t you been keeping up with your cycles, basal body temperatures, and fertility charts?”

“No, Dr. Benson. Hunter and I have given up hope of ever having a child. It’s been over a year of trying. We just couldn’t take the pain any longer.”

Dr. Benson gently manipulated Terra’s lower abdomen. “You have a slight weight gain. I’d like to do a quick lab test and a pelvic exam.”

“Lab test? For what?”

Dr. Benson smiled at her and said, “Pregnancy.”

THREE:

As soon as Terra left Dr. Benson’s office that morning, she went on several errands.

Everything had to be perfect for that night.

Terra had cleverly planned dinner. Cornish game hens, baby carrots, and petite peas with tiny pearl onions. She set the table in the formal dining room with the best china, silver, and crystal. She had bought a dozen long stemmed red roses, and put them in a vase on the table, along with her great grandmother’s sterling candlesticks.

Now, me, she thought. She took out her formal black dress, and was delightfully surprised when it felt snug. She finished dressing, pinning up her hair, and putting on her make-up. As she surveyed herself in front of the full length mirror, she noticed it. It was unmistakable. A tiny bulge. She lovingly rubbed it as she heard the front door open.

“Honey, I’m home” Hunter called out.

Terra took a deep breath and walked towards him. She saw him standing in the dining room with a puzzled look on his face. “Welcome home, Honey!”

Hunter looked around at her. “Wow! You, the table, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, can’t we have a special evening? Now, let me serve dinner.”

Terra carried out the tray of Cornish hens and set it on the table.

“Wow! Little baby chickens!” exclaimed Hunter.

Terra giggled and went back into the kitchen for the rest of dinner. She served Hunter some of the baby carrots and petite peas. She then served herself. As she sat down, she saw it…the realization spread across his face. She had wondered how long it would take.

He looked up at her with an expression of great surprise and wonder. “Terra? Baby chickens, baby carrots, baby peas, are you trying to tell me something?”

“Three months, Hunter! I’m three months pregnant!”

“Oh my God, Terra!” exclaimed Hunter, as he jumped up from the table and ran around to her. Terra met him halfway, noticing his overjoyed expression. He embraced her enthusiastically, and then took a step back and put his hand on her stomach. The warmth of his hand radiating to their child thriving within her was overwhelming. She was beaming.

“I can feel it, Terra, I can feel a tiny bump!” She was thrilled with his wonderment.

“I know Hunter, I know!”

FOUR:

Terra never liked the damned road that curved around the mountains, but it was the only route to the very rural area that Hunter’s parents lived in. Being very pregnant at this point, she stayed ill most of the time, and she was getting carsick. She fiddled with a packet of saltines, and when she had it opened and looked back up, she saw it…

“Oh my God, Hunter, look out!” she screamed, but it was too late.

The SUV met them in the curve, straddling the center line, going at breakneck speed. Their BMW was no match for it. They hit head-on. Even though they were wearing their seat belts, the force of the impact jerked them like rag dolls. Once the debris had settled, Hunter reached out to Terra, demanding, “Terra, Terra, are you okay?”

Terra winced in pain and grabbed her belly. She felt a sudden gush between her legs, and a sense of horror and dread spread over her. When she looked down, she saw bloody amniotic fluid. She flew into a mad panic.

“Oh my God, Hunter, my water broke! It’s still a couple of months before my due date! It’s too soon! “And God, Hunter, it’s bloody!” She began hyperventilating.

Terra could hear the ambulance’s siren approaching. Hunter managed to wrangle himself out of the crushed car and run towards the ambulance. She could tell that it was a great struggle with much pain for him to do so, but he was doing it for her and little Natalie.

Oh God, my little Natalie! I just had my sonogram and found out our child was a girl. We had already named her, after my great grandmother.

The EMTs got to Terra and finally pried open her door. When they lifted her out of the car to put her on a stretcher, the young EMTs saw the bloody fluid and cried out “Oh God!” Terra jerked her head around in their direction and saw the older EMT shoot the younger one a look, as if to say, “When will you ever learn?”

That’s the last thing Terra remembered before she blacked out.

FIVE:

Everything was a haze around Terra. She could hear the hum of voices and sense the movement of people and things around her, but couldn’t get a clear picture of anything. Her vision was blurry, but was beginning to sharpen some. Where was she?

Terra could then smell the disinfectant and hear the squealing of stretcher wheels, and realized that she must be in the hospital. Suddenly, she remembered the wreck. Horrified, Terra laid her hands on her flat stomach and winced in pain. She flew into a wild panic.

“Hunter, Hunter! Where are you! What has happened to Natalie?!”

Hunter struggled to pull himself from the chair in the corner of the room and hobble over to her. She could see the cast on his leg and the expression of pain on his face.

“Terra, it’s okay. You began premature labor, there was some fetal distress, and they had to perform a caesarean section. You and Natalie are going to be just fine. The neonatalogist that Dr. Benson has recommended will see us later.”

She could see fear and worry in his eyes betray his words.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. “Hello Mr. & Mrs. Allison, my name is Dr. Lee. I’m here to inform you of Natalie’s prognosis.”

“Is Natalie going to die!?” cried out Terra.

“Natalie was born at four pounds, one ounce. She suffered no injuries from the accident, but is very small and weak…”

“…But what’s going to happen to her!?...”

“Mrs. Allison, I know it’s hard. Please let me finish telling you everything I know. Natalie is going to have to stay with us for a while. She has been placed in an incubator, and her heartbeat and breathing are being monitored. She has to gain some weight, get stronger, and be able to eat well before she can be released.”

“Can I see her?”

Terra could see the look of dismay on Dr. Lee’s face. “Yes, but I must warn you, it will be a shock.”

“I don’t care. I need to be with my Natalie. She needs her mommy and daddy.”

Dr. Lee sighed, and Terra could see a look of resignation on her face. “Well, in that case, I will take you.”

SIX:

Nurses had to get Terra into a wheelchair. She couldn’t walk due to her wide incision, hip bone to hip bone. Pain burned and stung her like a million bees, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was Natalie. Dr. Lee began pushing her out of the room.

When they reached the neonatal ward, Dr. Lee turned an uneasy face towards Terra. “I must warn you, she is very small and frail looking. She is in an incubator, and you won’t be able to hold her. She has wires attached to her that monitor her heartbeat and breathing. Are you sure about this?”

“I have to see our Natalie” demanded Terra.

Dr. Lee opened the door and led them to Natalie’s incubator.

Terra gazed through the plexiglass walls at her tiny daughter. Oh my God, she was so small and pale. Every breath that Natalie took seemed to come with such great effort, and she would let out a tiny sigh each times she exhaled. Terra could hear a steady “beep, beep” that must be the heart monitor. Dr. Lee was right: there were miles of wire running to Natalie’s chest, and a breathing tube taped to her nose.

Terra broke down into tears. Hunter hobbled around behind her and put his arms around her shoulders. The warmth and strength of him felt good, but didn’t take the pain away.

“I think it best that we go back to the room now. Mrs. Allison, you’ve been through major surgery and have to have your recovery time. You will be free to visit Natalie in the future” said Dr. Lee.

Terra touched her hand to the plexiglass wall and stared down at Natalie, as a tear coursed its way down her cheek.

Then, Dr. Lee turned Terra’s wheelchair around and began pushing her back to her room.



SEVEN:

Terra willed her body to heal as quickly as it could. She had to be with Natalie. Hunter came after work each day to visit her.

“Guess what? You’re being released tomorrow” he said. She could see the look of joy and relief on his face.

“What about Natalie? When does she get to come home?”

Terra could see Hunter’s smile drop and see him slump forward. “Terra”, he sighed, “She can’t come home with you, she’s not well enough yet.”

“I’m not leaving without her, Hunter.”

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to. The insurance won’t pay for you to stay any longer. Besides, I’ve already talked to Dr. Lee, and you can come and see her everyday if you want.”

And that is exactly what Terra did.

EIGHT:

Hunter took Terra home the next day. She could tell that something was wrong by the look on his face and the stiffness and uneasiness of his body. So she asked him about it.

“Terra, while you were in the hospital, I planned a surprise for you, but now I’m afraid that it will only upset you.”

“What is it?”

“You’ll just have to see when we get home.”

As they walked through the front door, Terra saw a teddy bear sitting in the front chair. She thought of Natalie, and went to it and hugged it to her chest.

“Do you want to see?” asked Hunter. Terra could see the uncertainty in his eyes.

“Of course.”

“Well, then follow me to the guest room.”

Terra thought that was an odd comment. Sure, they had an extra room in the house that they had always planned on making into a nursery, but after giving up, they turned it into a guest room. As soon as she stepped in the room, she was in awe. She drew in her breath in astoundment, asking “Hunter, did you do all of this?”

The bedroom furniture had been moved out and the baby furniture moved in. Creamy white dressers, dressing table, rocking chair, and crib, all against a pastel pink wall. He had placed a border of bunnies around the ceiling and floor, and had even found curtains and a mobile with a bunny motif. The crib was loaded down with stuffed bunnies.

“Well, me and a couple of buddies flew in on it that one weekend…”

Terra stood in disbelief, then began crying.

“What’s wrong, honey. Don’t you like it?”

“Oh Hunter, I just love it. It’s just that she’s not here…”

“I know, but she will be, and soon.”

NINE:

Each and every day, Terra spent in the neonatal ward right by Natalie’s side. Fearing the worst initially, she was greatly relieved to see small improvements in Natalie each day. Soon, the magical day came…they opened the incubator.

Terra got to hold Natalie for the first time. The feeling was indescribable – she never thought this day would come – a child of her and Hunter’s, lying in her arms.

Hunter came right after work when he hears the wonderful news – Natalie was out of the incubator, doing fine, could be held and fed, and was going home tomorrow morning.

Terra sat back and watched on as Hunter held Natalie and fed her. The look of total and utter love on his face was priceless.

Then, an oversight occurred to her.

“Honey, we never chose a middle name for Natalie.”

Hunter looked up at Terra, beaming, and said “How do you feel about ‘Miracle’?”