Lux Eterna

A pulsating light was all that was visible in the darkness. This was a solitary twinkle in an eternal abyss.

What is this place?

Is this a dream?

Was this punishment?

It wasn’t supposed to be an affair. It wasn’t supposed to be anything.

Sandra hoped to avoid the rain when she ran out of the hospital. She had just finished her third round of chemotherapy. Her husband was unable to pick her up and she ran to catch the next bus. She wasn’t allowed to drive after treatments.

“This is ridiculous,” Sandra mumbled under her breath. She moved past her anger and rationalized that her husband was still coping with the fact that she had cancer.

Sandra kept her treatments and condition from her parents and friends. Her husband was the only person that knew. Her nine-year-old son was far too young to understand. It was a big burden for her husband to carry, she knew this. This is why she couldn’t blame him for making excuses as to why he couldn’t pick her up or drop her off for treatments.

It began to rain and Sandra tried to shield herself with her purse. The raindrops could be heard pelting her purse as she ran. Sandra cut through a park to catch the bus. The full smell of autumn leaves was all around her. She could hardly believe she was able to run. Just as that thought hit she felt weak and missed her step. Sandra landed in a puddle of mud. Mud back-splashed her face and she could taste the dirt. She chocked and spat.

“That’s terrific,” she said out loud. Sandra was completely soaked at this point and gave up on trying to protect herself from the cold rain.

“My God, miss,” said a man. “Are you alright?”

“Yes. I’m fine,” Sandra tried to dismiss the man without looking up.

“Let me help you-.”

“No. Really, I’m okay.” Her tone was firmer. She turned to face the man - perhaps give him a dirty look -but her anger melted away at the sight of the man’s blue eyes. “Oh, gosh. No. I’m fine, thank you.” She was now fumbling. “I was just coming out of the hospital and running-.”

“You work at the hospital?”

“No. I just-.” She stopped herself. Why was she explaining to this stranger? “I’m actually trying to catch the bus-.” Sandra looked over the man’s shoulder in time to see the bus leave.

The man turned around to witness the same. “I think you just missed it.” He helped Sandra up and placed his rain coat over her. The warm coat felt safe and secure to Sandra. Her nose brushed up against it as she put it on, catching the fresh but muscular scent of the man’s cologne.

“Lyle,” the man introduced himself. “I’ll get a cab for you, no worries. You don’t have to ride with the stranger.” He joked.

Lyle would pick her up from the hospital for months, being led to believe she worked there. Sandra didn’t see her situation as an affair. Her husband had checked out. Their days together were routine, mundane and loveless.

Lyle made Sandra feel different. She felt alive. Although Sandra had cancer, cancer did not have her.

The pulsating light became more violent, spewing multicolored flares. Sandra understood now. She was dying.



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