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Rated: 18+ · Prose · Experience · #1631296
Author speculating about the difficulties in life when one is disabled.
    Philosophers might say that every single day holds a purpose or a reason for our existence; however, for those not gifted with perfect health, every day might not be so rosy.

    Imagine for a moment of having to face a typical day, full of events, stressors - now
consider doing those same tasks, but your body is in constant agony:

Even with the pain killers, antidepressants, muscle relaxants, and anxiety medications can not take the edge off.

When you come home, playing with your kids, making supper, & helping with schoolwork may seem fun or even just a "mandatory" chore for others; 

I would take all of those "chores" again if I could.

I will never play games in the yard again with my boys, nor do I make many dinners any more....

Standing up for long periods of time is agony.

Even intimacy with my spouse becomes more and more difficult; my disabilities are so difficult

for him to comprehend, never mind asking him to empathize

My friends have drifted away - & I pushed them to do it......I promised I would never become

one of those individuals who can only inject their agony into a conversation.

So, as my work becomes more and more difficult to handle, and my family is burdened with both

feelings of sorrow & of bitterness.....it seems as if we must learn to be like a willow tree, bending to change, not breaking because of it.

Some days it seems hard to find reasons to go on......I guess I am still finding those reasons,

Hope is the necessity of Life.....

We must keep trying to find ways to make a difference, to have a reason to go onward for ourselves, and for those who care.

There are so many specialists who deserve more than our thanks; however, there are also social workers, physicians, therapists, government officials, bankers, lawyers, therapists….who don’t assist those of us who struggle so hard to make our houses our homes. To those of you that fall into this category, I can only say this:

“There but for the Grace of God Go I…” (Unknown Source)

Keeping hope within a crippled body is a struggle every minute of each and every day:
most days I will tell you there is always hope---

It's just a 'few' times that I run out of reasons for trying, but somehow life is just too precious to not struggle valiantly with these diseases and the pain every hour of every day.

Hope must be alive; we all must try to work together in finding ways to beat the Beast....you Can do this.
We just need to find our place in the scheme of the journey.....Be Kind to Yourself...Always
© Copyright 2009 Syrianna Constanople (syrianna at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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