Choice

In the beginning God created man.  Adam and Eve in their cute little world, all the beauty and sensual decadence and not a single neuron to notice it, use it.  It annoyed me.  Days went by and I watched God play with his new toys, ever cautioning them against taking the very thing he took from them, free will.  See the implication in the bible is that you were meant to be doe eyed innocents, but that is not what god originally had in mind, I ruined that for you.  I would apologize but that would be insincere.
         Before God decided to create his little doll house he created the heavenly hosts, then me, commonly called The Morning star, you might have heard of me.  Being that the bible was written by men, interpreted by men they ignored the key fact, I was not simply his favorite among the angels, and I was his wife.  He gave me what he intended to give you, what I saw that you received, a mind that worked, free will.  God wanted a wife who could do more than nod and worship, and he created me.  We had our moments to be sure but once one is given free it is hard not to question.  When you question your husband’s creation, that is one thing but when he is god, needless to say the break up was bad.  I got earth, and hell and he kept the white palace.  With my “rebellion” God became weary of the free will he gave me and took it out of the human plan and placed it on a forbidden tree, knowing that they would never question his order.
         At first I was very content to walk through the world he created, he was a magnificent artist.  The way the earth felt, the grass, the wind it was very over whelming and an absolute delight.  It took days of walking through the garden to come upon the completion of Adam.  I watch God carve him from the earth, the earth he gave to me, making mankind as much his as mine.  Adam was a divine specimen, strong, tall and unabashedly naive.  God looked upon his creation delighted, and told him of the tree.  Adam nodded empathically and repeated the forbidding order to god for good measure.  I just watched.
         When God’s presence left the garden I walked to the tree.  The fruit is unlike any you have seen, be sure it is not as innocent as the apple or as sensual as the fig.  I took a bite, what harm could it do me, and indeed it just tasted of honey, thick and coating.  I bit over the top but God has that flair for the dramatic.  After swallowing the sickly sweet lump of fruit flesh I realized what this was, free will and a rather ingenious way to offer it to Adam and soon to Eve, by asking them to make a choice when no choice can be made. 
To explain more pointedly, Adam is a true submissive, his only thoughts are what am I doing and how can I please God.  Nothing beyond that, no desire for adventure in fact I don’t believe he stepped foot out of a 10 foot radius of where he was created, because he could not wonder enough to wander.  All the beauty ever created and he never even stepped beyond the 10 feet he was created in, it seemed sad to me.  It also made me mad, how did God think that was fair?
         He was how ever able to whine and in the one brief show of some mind he told God that he was lonely when God’s presence was gone.  God understood this feeling, and gave Adam, Eve.  Imagine my surprise to see a doe-eyed version of myself.  Well not in face or even mannerisms but  when you are the only example of the female form you have seen, well we all look alike at the beginning don’t we?  He gave her to Adam, a gift of sensual beauty that the dunce could not even use.  I am not sure god thought sex would be an issue for people, he just though it was a desire he had, to feel another being close to, to be inside of.  In thinking back he was partially right because with no free will, without the button of nature being flipped on, the dolls simply existed.  There was no point to give them an instinct for sex at least not turned on.
         I retreated to my home or hell as you call it.  Its not punishment, and indeed you will go to either hell or heaven.  Hell is not a punishment, rather it is just not God’s world but much more like earth and it is not evil just not perfect.  I don’t punish you; god doesn’t punish you rather he lets you choose who to serve.  You fail to fall to your knees; you serve me and join me.  Its earthly and imperfect, you can do as you like.
Once home I got to thinking, wondering about this new creature, Eve how like me was she.  She looked like me in form and grace but innocent and blank.  It was at that moment that I first felt sorry for man; it is my fault you fell from god’s grace.  I am proud of the fact I gave what god refused to give to his pets.
         My mind was made up and as I moved to the garden, I could feel God watch me.  Unlike the mind of man, he is not in the mind of his Morning Star.  He felt that would not allow me to be a worthy wife and companion.  It is always odd to know that God watches me and does not mettle; I think he likes the hands off approach, where as I want you to have all the choices presented not hidden. 
         In the garden I watched Adam and Eve, like any good teacher..  It was rather boring, they sat there looking at each other talking to silent animals and eating what they had no desire to eat, because god told them to “Eat from all the fruit bearing trees in the garden, save one”.  The dolls were creepy and mindless but Adam looked happy enough.  Eve however, being made in my unreferenced image, had a flicker of me in her.           
         The snake I had been cuddling slither up the base of the tree of knowledge.  Eve appeared before me and petted the head of my new pet.  I spoke letting her hear me, but think the snake was speaking to be less shocking.  It was not the manipulation that you might think, I was not aiming to harm or even steal people from god, just to give you life, real life.  It’s hard spending eternity misunderstood by those you were trying to set free.
         “Eve, how are you lovely?” The poor girl looked shocked, but responded,
         “It is perfect, but yours is not the voice of god…yours is like mine” She had a curiousness that God apparently forgot to suppress or lock in her free will.  Perhaps though in hindsight I did not give you enough of a chance to break the spell naturally.
         “Yes, I do have a voice almost as beautiful as yours.  I just finished a snack.”
         “From this tree,” she looked shocked “It is forbidden”
         “Not to me, it is what gave me this voice and the desire to speak with you” I have to admit, even now I feel bad, I should have left them alone.  I mean I am no better than god, if I force a choice on people but I still stand on the point that he erased the choice factor.
         “Desire?  What is desire?”
         “The ability to want, crave, need something.  Like food, I now desire to eat, to taste the flavors of all the fruit.”
         “I have done that” She said
         “But why?  Did you enjoy it?” 
         “I…I don’t know, I did it, isn’t that something?”
         “Only you can answer that, Eve.”
         She reached up and boldly grabbed a piece; I was surprised I would have expected more hesitation.  She ripped the fruit open, and I sat up straight.  She was a surprising little prize God created, and I could not help but smile.  Looking at the fruit then to the snake and back again, she studied the fruit.  As she did so I reveled myself and she just looked at me.
         “I knew there were others like me,”
         “I am not like you Eve; rather you are like me, but no sense in arguing semantics.  Are you going to taste?”
         “I was told not to” She looked down, and so sad.
I grabbed half the fruit and bit into it, then moved to her, close to her.  My lips were covered in that sticky sweet mess and then I saw it was too late, she had found free will on her own.  She kissed me, me of all the creations on this planet.  I could not help myself; it is in my very being.  I always live in the moment, for pleasure, pain for the simple experience.  I took her, there under the tree of knowledge breaking her in with my hands, softening the moans with mine.  When she fell asleep in my arms, blissfully wasted from experience, I knew I should have just fed her the damn fruit.  I left her there.  She was not mine, just my image.
         When she woke, her mind fuzzy from the first moments of real sleep and real pleasure, she reasoned it all came from the fruit, the taste on her lips and the bite missing, the bite I took.  She ran off and fed it to Adam; I watched as he awoke from the mental blank and saw her for the first time.  He looked at her with lust, as God had once looked at me.
         “What do you think of our kids?  Made by you raised by me”
         “You could not leave them be?” God asked, and I let him touch me for the first time in a millennia. 
         “No, no one deserves a life of servitude at your feet.”
         “But now I have to punish them, why did you do it wife?”
         “I am no longer your wife, and so you would not get bored, to show you that the next few millennia will be a race, to see whether or not you can force, true obedience with free will intact.”
         “I will cast the failures to dwell in hell with you”
         “That is fine,” I answered taking his arm from around my waist “They will be a fun game for us, and you know they will be wrong about you, me and mostly everything, right”
         “I know,” God sighed “Get thee from my sight” 
         “Sure,” I answered laughing “But I will be watching.”
         I did watch too, as did god.  He waited for Adam and Eve to finish before he showed up and “cast them out”.  We both watch mostly uninvolved.  Though the whole Jesus thing is very funny, I told God he should have told me if I had gotten him pregnant.  See the problem is his expectations are too high, and he craves adoration and worship for gifts humans did not ask for, life.  On the other hand I have no expectations and live in morally grey territory.  I do have my causes as God surely has as well but we rarely get involved. 
         I felt guilty watching the downtrodden cast a ways, and wondering how they had a sense of shame.  God did not grant me such a punishment.  That is ok now; you have done quite well for yourselves.  We are both proud of what we have done.