Teardrops on my Guitar

Chapter 1:

Savannah sat in her desk, glancing up at the clock, her assignment left undone on the page in front of her. Ten minutes until the bell rang for fifth period. She agonized over the time. Ten minutes was an eternity when you were looking forward to something, especially if you were fifteen and female. Teenage girls always seem to have the least amount of patience and the greatest amount of anxiety. It was a bad combination.

Eight minutes now. It was only a painstaking eight minutes until she saw Drew. It was the only time of the day she got to see her best friend. In fact, he was her only real friend. She had another friend named Kayla, but she wasn’t as close with her. She and Drew had been friends as long as she could remember, and she had a special connection with him that couldn’t be shared with anyone else. It was like they had synchronized biorhythms and neither could be happy if the other was sad and vice versa. Savannah was very protective of that connection.

Five more minutes and she was home free. She tried to fake her way through one last problem before Mr. Falkner, the Algebra teacher, told the class to pack up. She closed her notebook and stuck it in her backpack, zipping it up so its contents wouldn’t go flying when she snatched it up in her rush to Biology. She tried to pull her fingers through her curly blond hair but ended up just yanking a ton of hair out of her head. She was never able to tame her hair, no matter how hard she tried. To her, it was the worst thing about her physical appearance next to her thick-rimmed black glasses.

Just two more minutes until the bell. Drew had said before school that morning that he had something important to tell her. She had been thinking since then on what it could possibly be. She could easily recall the look in his sapphire-blue eyes. Something was bothering him. He’d never been so serious. The ticking of the clock seemed to be going at half speed, as if mocking her in a deliberately torturous way. Savannah tapped her broken fingernails against the desk, much to the annoyance of the girl sitting next to her.

Finally, the bell rang. She snatched up her bag and made her way to the science hallway and tripped across the doorway of her Biology class. She slid clumsily into her near broken desk, getting out her Biology binder and pulling her hair back in case they had a lab today. She slammed her knee against the metal bar in the desk and hissed, cursing her clumsiness.

She looked up just in time to see him enter the room with his friend Tyler, ruffling his golden blond hair with those agile fingers. He was the most dexterous, coordinated person she knew, and she thought herself a stalker nerd for even noticing things like that. What other girl would notice things like dexterity in such a fine specimen of male hotness? Who else would notice his killer reflexes and hand-eye coordination, or the fact he has never tripped over anything, ever? She shook it off and came back down to earth.

He slid easily into the desk next to hers, still smelling of sawdust from the woodshop class his dad made him take. Drew’s dad had made quite a lot of money from a carpentry business, and wanted his son to take it over. Really, Drew just wanted to be a musician, but he figured he could do both if it made his parents happy. Savannah inhaled the scent of cedar wafting off of him as he moved. It was a comforting smell. The smell of cedar always reminded her of home. There were a ton of cedar trees around her house and her grandparents’ place, and she loved the smell during their sapping season. The tardy bell rang and the teacher gave them their assignment. They had to partner up and answer the questions on a worksheet. How serendipitous.

After about ten minutes they were done, so they were free to whisper for the next half hour. Drew looked at her and she internally shivered, faking a smile to cover up the nervous burning feelings that look produced in her stomach.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” She asked, biting her lip and half fearing, half hoping for what he had to say. “I figured you would want to be the first to know,” he whispered, “I’m in love.” Savannah ceased to breathe. “With who?” she asked, making sure her voice was steady, and seemingly curious. Drew smiled, making it that much harder for Savannah to keep her cool. “Brittany Hart,” he whispered after looking around to make sure no one was listening in.

Everyone knew Brittany Hart. She was a cheerleader, the daughter of a local preacher and a teacher at the school, and FCA leader and an all around sweetheart. However, she wasn’t allowed to date, making her the unattainable dream queen of every guy in school. Of course they would keep their relationship a secret if they had one, her dad would murder them both if he knew his daughter was “cavorting with those sinners” as he put it in his “abstinence” sermons to the teenagers. On top of that, Reverend Hart wasn’t the biggest fan of Drew’s parents, who had married while they were still in high school because Mamma Young was pregnant. No one else seemed to care, but preachers do tend to be sore on the subject of premarital sex. Savannah was a good Christian girl and planned on saving herself, but she wasn’t one to look down on anyone who didn’t make the same decision.

“That’s…nice. She’s a nice girl.” Savannah swallowed hard. Brittany was also incredibly beautiful. Savannah understood very well how two beautiful middle-class Christian kids could winds up together. It hurt her heart to be reminded once again that she wasn’t nearly good enough for him. Drew just put on that dreamy smile of his and looked back down, obviously not wanting to talk about it anymore since she hadn’t called her an outright skank and called him an idiot for trying to pursue a hopeless relationship with her.

After a moment he looked back up and whispered “We still on tonight?” Savannah just nodded, not able to speak without sobbing or screaming. They were supposed to help decorate the Fellowship hall at the church for the Valentine’s Day party that weekend and then go out to eat afterwards. Savannah knew Brittany was going to be at the church too, seeing as how she headed up every youth committee there was at the place. She wondered if she’d be able to get through the night without bursting into tears.

After class was over, she rushed out of the room, not going through the usual daily ritual of letting Drew walk her to her next class. She powered through the last two hours and sat in silence next to her other friend, Kayla. Kayla never minded if she was silent, or reading, or in a bad mood. Kayla was incredibly tolerant because she really didn’t care. She had more important things to think about, like who she was going to party with that weekend. Drew sat two seats away from them; too busy talking to Tyler to truly pay attention to her. Although it was obvious he was down, like he was feeling the negative vibe she was sending him in her sadness. She held one of her binders to her chest as if it were the only thing holding her together and her heart and lungs would fall out through a gaping hole in her chest should it be removed.

As soon as she reached her room she grabbed her guitar and started practicing by reflex, like she did every day. As she began to play, tears escaped from her eyes and splashed down on the glossy surface of her guitar. She laid her forehead against it and sobbed silently. Drew had given her the guitar for her fourteenth birthday and playing it had only reminded her of her pain. She stopped after a moment and cleared away the tears with her polishing cloth. That mahogany stained guitar was the most expensive thing she owned, and it made her feel bad every time she looked at it because Drew had bought it for her with his own money.

She never had understood why Drew was friends with her. They went to the same church, school and lived on the same road, but the same could be said for a dozen others. His parents had way more money than hers, and they had a much nicer house. They got invited to classy parties because Drew’s mother came from a family that was practically Southern royalty. They were born existing on totally different levels, but Drew just decided to approach her one day on the beach when they were two, and they’d been friends ever since. She started to question their relationship at about eight when she started to actually realize the vast differences between them. Whenever she brought it up Drew just said, “You think too much,” so she learned to just leave it alone. However, it never stopped her thinking of it.

She got up and started trying to brush her nappy hair. It was a futile effort, but she always tried. She looked at herself in the mirror and tried to tell herself she was beautiful, even though she thought it was a lie. She took off her thick black glasses and pulled back her hair, examining her face. There was no doubt to anyone who really looked at her that she was pretty, but from the way she carried herself and how she hid behind her hair no one ever really noticed.

She had skin the color of honey with cinnamon-colored freckles across her cheeks. Her eyes were Caribbean blue with flecks of green, but tended to change color with her mood. Today they seemed more gray than anything else. Her features were soft, giving her a look of perpetual innocence, with the full lips and straight nose of a Botticelli angel.

Her vision went fuzzy, so she put her glasses back on, once again hiding herself behind them. “Who am I kidding?” she thought to herself. In her mind, she’d never be pretty enough for anyone to love her, especially Drew. She changed her shirt into one she didn’t mind getting dirty and went outside to the broken down porch with her denim purse and the journal she always carried with her. While she waited for Drew to pick her up, she wrote about her day. Venting her feelings on paper made things a little easier to bear. She was ready to face him without breaking down.

He pulled up in his mom’s blue hybrid and she shoved her diary into her purse as she walked down the driveway. She got in and smiled at him like she always did and he smiled back. He pulled out of the driveway and headed for the church, turning down the radio so they could talk. Savannah hoped they wouldn’t fight; she was still in a rather iffy mood and would hate it if she said something to hurt him that she didn’t mean.

“So, what’s going on with you?” he asked. Savannah stopped smiling. “What do you mean?” She had tried hard not to be obvious about what she was feeling and thought she had failed. “Just…what’s up?” Savannah let out a sigh of relief. “Nothing much. I mean, there’s nothing I could tell you that you don’t already know.” Drew sighed. “You really need to have more friends besides me and Kayla. It’s really not healthy for you to isolate yourself like this.”

Savannah got defensive. “I have friends!” She exclaimed. “Oh, yeah? Who” Savannah counted off people. “Well, there’s Tyler, Stephen, Michael, Luke, Chad…”

“Those are all of my friends!” Drew interrupted. “You only hang out with them because you’re always with me! Try again.” Savannah glared at him and started listing off the names of some of the girls she knew and Drew stopped her again. “Those are the people Kayla parties with, those skanks are not your friends.”

“Fine!” she snapped. “I’ll try to get a more active social life, okay? Jeez, you’re worse than my mother.” She sighed, and after a moment of sitting with her arms crossed she said, “I’ve never needed any friend other than you, Andrew Young Junior. You’re ten times the best friend any one else could be.” That statement made him drop the subject. They talked about meaningless things for a few more minutes until they reached the church and pulled into the parking lot.

Just as Savannah thought, Brittany was already there. As soon as they entered the Fellowship Hall she waved at them, smiled brightly, yelled “Hey, Savannah!” and ran over to give her a hug. This surprised Savannah so much it took her a moment to recover. Brittany had never spoken much to her before. In fact, Savannah had always gotten the impression that Brittany hated her guts. Brittany was one of the main reasons savannah had such low self esteem, since she had never missed an opportunity growing up to tell her how ugly she was. Brittany had actually spread a rumor in fifth grade that she was biracial and that was why she had such nappy hair. Really it was just that she was jealous of her perpetual tan and the fact that she could never get one that even naturally. Savannah figured she wanted to get on her good side so that she wouldn’t get in her way with Drew. “Good luck on that one,” she thought.

Also, being friends with Savannah was a good cover story. It would keep her Dad from asking why she was around Drew so much. Wherever Savannah was, Drew was usually there too, so contact with him would be inevitable if one were to be friends with Savannah. It was reasonable that Brittany saw her as an asset rather than competition, since most assumed that Savannah was Drew’s sister or treated her like she was. No one could ever even fathom that something could possibly go on between them.

The truth was that Drew really did have a sister. She was twenty two and had a very successful modeling career. She ran away from home when she was sixteen and they didn’t see her again until Savannah brought over a copy of Seventeen magazine with a picture of her in it two years later. She was half-naked selling some new brand of designer jeans. Since then they’ve gotten a letter from her every Christmas, addressed to Drew with no return address. She tells him she’s alive, how well she’s doing and how much she misses him. There’s always two hundred dollars and a few magazine and newspaper clippings with her picture on them. She never says anything directed at her parents.

Very few people know that Randi Grace the model is really Miranda Grace Young, daughter of Andrew Young Senior and Grace Rikard. After all, she looks so different in the pictures that her own family can barely recognize her, why should anyone else?

Savannah greeted Brittany with equal sweetness and then asked what they needed to do. With that, they went to work. Some of the guys from the youth group and two more girls showed up to help. All of the boys were the ones who were friends with Drew. They started moving the tables around in the way Brittany directed them while the girls hung up lights and streamers in all shades of pink and red. They turned on one of Brittany’s CDs and got a good working rhythm going until they were nearly done.

At about eight o’clock Brittany and the two other girls were putting on the finishing touches to the tables while Savannah stapled the last of the streamers to the ceiling. The rest of them headed out until only Savannah, Drew, Brittany and Stephen was left there working. Stephen was going to crash at Drew’s house that night, so he decided to stick around. Brittany was carrying a box of leftover decorations and was going to put them up when she tripped and knocked into the ladder Savannah was on. The ladder didn’t get knocked over, so she could have caught herself, but being as uncoordinated as she was she fell completely off.

Luckily, Stephen was nearby and moved in time to catch her. It took Savannah a minute to figure out she hadn’t hit the ground, since she had braced herself for the fall. Finally she opened her eyes and looked up at Stephen’s face, panting. “Thanks,” she said, a relieved smile breaking out across her face. “No problem, honey.” Stephen said, returning the smile with an impressive genuine one that spread to his shining emerald green eyes as well. He looked at Brittany, who was on the floor trying to pick up the paper hearts and tissue paper that had fallen out of the box when she dropped it. “Try to be a little more careful next time, B. If I hadn’t been here you’dve had to call 911.” Savannah cleared her throat then, making him realize he was still holding her. “Oh! Sorry, honey.” He said as he put her down.

Drew broke the following silence with “Okay…so who’s hungry?” They all raised their hands and Brittany went to put up the box while the rest of them headed out to the hybrid. Savannah sat in the front seat next to Drew while Stephen and Brittany sat in the back and they all went to Haley’s the only place to eat in town. It was really more of a bar with food than a restaurant, but it was family-friendly. Stephen said he liked the place for it’s hot waitresses. Brittany spent the entire ride there apologizing for knocking Savannah off the ladder until Stephen told her to just shut up already. It took every shred of decency in Savannah to keep from smacking her across the face.

When they got there, the place was over half full. Friday night was a pretty big night for bar patrons. They sat down at the last available four-top and looked at the laminated menu on the table while they waited for their waitress. The menu was pretty limited, sandwiches, fried food, salad and dessert. The menu for drinks, however, was very long. Everyone except Brittany ordered cheeseburgers and fries, and Savannah ordered an extra side of onion rings, and they got their own pitcher of iced tea. Brittany, however, ordered a spinach salad and ice water.

Now, Brittany never outright insulted anyone, but she made a lot of sideways degrading comments that seemed indirect but were usually meant to offend a particular person. She learned the skill from the way her father preached. She said that she always ate healthy so she could keep her light weight for cheerleading, and how unhealthy all that grease and salt was. It did not escape anyone’s attention that she directed this at Savannah, who was a very self-conscious size ten next to Brittany’s model-thin size 2.

Stephen noticed the hurt expression on Savannah’s face and figured out a way to make her feel better and get Brittany back for her outright hatefulness. “Hey, baby girl, you got a date for the party yet?” This surprised Savannah so much that it took her a moment to respond. In fact, she paused halfway through biting a French fry. “Uh…no.” She said, wondering why he would think she would have a date at all. She’d never been on one before, mostly because no one ever asked her. She made herself seem unapproachable by her attitude towards herself, so no one ever wanted to ask her out. “No, I don’t. What about you? I’m sure girls at school are falling all over themselves for you to ask them out.” Stephen, Drew, Tyler and Luke were their resident hotties. Girls counted themselves lucky if they even got their passing attention because not only were they gorgeous, they were the only guys in school who had enough money to buy them stuff and take them places.

“Nah, none of ‘em have caught my eye.” Savannah smiled at this, realizing he was being nice. Stephen brightened at the sight of her smile. When Savannah had a full, genuine smile on her face, it was the only time anyone could see through her camouflage and realize how beautiful she was underneath it all. Stephen knew life was easier when Savannah was happy, because if Savannah was happy, Drew was happy, and when Drew was down Stephen couldn’t have any fun. Plus, Stephen liked looking at a happy, pretty Savannah better than a sad, plain one.

“Hey,” he said after a few seconds of silence. “Since you don’t have a date, and I don’t have a date, maybe we could go together. As friends, of course. I wouldn’t want to keep you from going off with any other guys that got a hold of you.” Stephen winked at her with a knowing expression. He was the only one who knew how bad she really had it for Drew. He was the only one who ever noticed that hurt, pathetic injured puppy look Savannah got when she saw Drew with another girl.

“Uh…I guess that’d be okay,” she said, hesitant. She wasn’t used to being asked out in any capacity. Finally, she looked up and smiled saying “Yes, I’d love to.” Stephen stole one of her onion rings and said, “Good,” before returning to his food.

Brittany had stopped eating and just stared, as if flabbergasted that anyone, especially someone like Stephen, could possibly want to ask Savannah out on a date. She didn’t regain her faculties until Drew whispered to her, asking if he was her unofficial date. Brittany didn’t even stop to think over her statement before she said she was going with Tyler.

Brittany’s father was weird about his rules. She couldn’t date the way other girls her age did. She could only have a date for events that it would be embarrassing to be alone at. Even then, he would choose who she would go with. She wished that she could date who she wanted, when she wanted and go where she wanted like all the other girls at her school. Then she could go places with Drew openly, and alone, instead of chaperoned like she was whenever she went to school dances or parties at church.

She had to spend twenty minutes convincing Drew it was only for show and she rather dislike Tyler. She realized she should have broken it more gently, but the scene between Stephen and Savannah had caught her off guard.

When they were done eating and the waitress came around asking if they wanted dessert, Brittany convinced Drew to split a fruit plate with her and Stephen and Savannah split a slice of cherry pie. Brittany apparently regained her decency, because she didn’t make any of her usual comments about how sugar can make you break out.

They dropped Brittany off at her house first because it was closest. The parsonage was a two story house with three bedrooms, two bathrooms and about a hundred windows. Mrs. Hart had recently had the brick painted yellow. It looked scary at night for a reason no one could identify. Savannah noticed how quietly she approached the darkened house, as if hoping everyone was asleep.

When they got to Savannah’s house, Stephen walked her to the door. While he stood there, waiting for her to go inside before he left she said, “Thanks for earlier, but you don’t have to take me to the party if you don’t want to. I know a lot of girls who want to go with you and I really don’t want you to feel responsible for…” Stephen put a finger to her lips to shut her up. “It’s fine baby girl. I think it’d be fun. Plus, I’ve been through my share of those girls; I think I’m going to swear off dating for a while.” He lowered his hand and paused. They stood in silence for a moment and then he asked, “Pick you up at six?” Savannah nodded and then went inside, the screen door slamming shut behind her.

She made her way to her room and changed into her pajamas after saying goodnight to her mother and stepfather who were still awake watching TV. She turned her radio on to her favorite country station. She couldn’t sleep if there wasn’t some kind of noise, and she preferred that noise to be music. She sat on her bed and looked at her nightstand, feeling like she was going to cry. Next to her reading lamp there was a picture of her and Drew together at church camp the previous summer. She put it facedown so she wouldn’t have to look at it and turned off the lamp, climbing under the covers to try to get some sleep. It would prove to be an unreachable goal.