A Little Fantasy: Prologue

Alex

         How did I let this happen? It was the first thing that popped in my mind as I regain consciousness. The mornings I have now are different unlike the ones I had before. I wake up in my bed and I am reminded again that I no longer share this bed with anyone. She’s gone now and I can only feel remorse for what I could’ve done and hatred towards myself for not doing them. As much as I wanted to feel happy for her that day, I just could not bring myself to erase the thoughts of how she’ll be going away from me forever. No longer will we see each other, smell each other’s scent, feel each other’s touch, those days are gone for good. It was inevitable, as I begin to play the memories we found for each other, memories that I’d gladly keep and throw away everything else for. It was Karen who went on her way, and I still can’t find myself to move an inch from the very spot where we both stopped being “us” and started being “You and Me”.

         Now I lie here in bed, in what used to be our apartment. I close my eyes and try to sleep again, to try and dream of the days where we were both happy, uncaring for what the world might do to us, what it might do to hinder us.

Karen

         “Oh Alex…” I realize that these are the first words that I've muttered this morning as  I lose touch with my dreams and open my eyes to reality. I no longer bear with me a smile every morning unlike back then, a smile which kept me looking forward to tomorrow. I look to my right and see before me the man I have to love, the man I'll have to force myself to be with, to try and live the rest of my life half-heartedly. It was still so fresh to me, as if everything just happened yesterday. Alex and I, it was fate that decided to join us and it was also fate that decided to separate us. I always wonder why fate played a cruel joke on us, ever since I found out that I’ll belong no longer to Alex. It was all so fast that I feel as if time has slipped away from my palms that I couldn’t keep up, I couldn’t bear in mind the fact that we were never meant to be. Time did not allow me to get used to this feeling yet.

         Now I find myself struggling to catch up on what has happened in my life. As the rest of the world moves on, I’m stuck in the past and still cannot accept what God has decided for me. I lie on my back on my new bed,  my eyes view the ceiling of my new home as a canvas to which I paint my memories with Alex every morning, every night; as I wake up and as I fall asleep. I want, rather, need to forget yet also dream of him at the same time every single day. I am confronted with a dilemma every moment, a dilemma in which I hurt no less than the day we both bid our last words to each other.

         Now I lie here in bed longing for his breath, his touch, his eyes, but most of all, his love. I’d give anything to relive the past once more. I’d do anything to be with him again.