Final Destination

    It was very cold the night I crossed the Alabama state line back into Mississippi. I had dreaded this moment for so many years, yet here I was, finally, coming home. It was so dark and foggy that I almost missed the great big Mississippi welcome sign. Kinda funny, my heart was feeling the same exact way, dark and foggy.  Eight miles to Columbus and only thirty miles to my final destination.  Final destination, what simple words with such deep meaning.
    I had not always had such loathing feelings for the Magnolia State. I was born and raised here and had a childhood full of fun and joyous times. When we are young we never imagine living a life full of regrets and disappointments. Childhood memories were always full of family and friends.  My teenage years were very normal. In our town, teenage girls spent time on school activities, going to dances and of course hanging with friends and acting boy crazy. The older we grew the more we had to do, such as visiting the beautiful southern beaches.  As moronic as it sounds, I did see myself as growing up, getting married, having children and having the house with the white fence around. It is funny how being introduced to one person can change our lives forever.
    I’ll skip all the intros and the fairy tale beginnings. It is ironic how a person can be so alluring in the beginning and yet so disgusting in the end. If you really look closely the tell-tale signs are always there.  Some of us are blind, while others are in denial. It never begins with the first slap or ends with the last kick. The most beautiful people on the outside can be the ugliest monsters on the inside.
    The emotional pain is the hardest and stems from the loneliness, the loss of self worth and the sheer knowledge of being worth nothing to the person you love most.No one ever wants to hear the dirty secrets from behind closed doors or to acknowledge that someone they love is actually having the hell beat out of them. Even worse, the victim can’t stand to face her cloud of shame and those who may judge her.Time is considerably precious, extremely limited and something we all take for granted. One thing we all must remember is once you lose it, it is nothing. But remember an abuser never changes. After many promises of a new life, in a new location with so many hopes and dreams, I am coming home today to my final destination. In a wooden box.