Haven't decided

  I looked around the ship. My eyes were drawn to my reflection in the glass window. My cold blue eyes stared back at me; there was no vitality in them. If the eyes were truly a window into the heart and soul then my eyes were the exception. The only thing I could see in these eyes was hatred. My eyes once contained kindness within them. But that seemed to be a very long time ago. Now this kindness was as dead as my soul; that is if I still had one left. Every day I was alive was just like being dead. I put my hand up to my chest…it was still beating. I didn’t even feel my heart anymore; I believe it truly stopped beating that cold December day.

      I was surrounded, I checked the magazine I had one bullet left. The end was upon me, I closed my eyes. I knew my fate and I did not fight it, I knew deep down that I deserved it. Cold sweat ran down my face, I pulled out a cigerate and lit it. They slowly moved closer, I exhaled and a plume of smoke filled the corridor. I was finally at peace, seven long years I had been living with what I had done and finally it was all over.

Aboard the U.S. military space vessel Angel of Darkness 2100 hours

      Angel of Anguish “Sir Confirmation of target needed” I replied “Target confirmed, proceeded with docking” Angel of Anguish “Sir main thrusters at fifty percent, request to raise thrusters to one hundred percent” “Granted, ready charges” Angel of Anguish “Charges armed” “brace for impact” Angel of Anguish “Impact in five, four, three, two, one”. An explosion rips through the hull of the Russian military vessel the Atlantic, decompression doors began to close and vacuum alarms sound. In the mass confusion of the red light and blaring alarm we move down the aircraft corridor.

      “Crack that emergency lock” Angel of Anguish “Sir”.  Captain “All security personnel report to Sector G” Angel of Anguish “That can’t be good” “Finish that lock” Angel of Anguish “Sir”. A large clicking sound confirms to the soldiers that the door override is broken. We pry open the door and I give the command. “Go, Go, Go”. Gun fire erupts as we meet the security personnel. Lieutenant “Commander” Captain “Yes” Lieutenant “Sector C is reporting a disturbance” Captain “lock down the ship, all hands to sector C”.

      Bullets rip through flesh and bone as both sides exchange fire. Men lay drowning in pools of their own blood. Soldier “Man down” “Flank to the right” I brace myself against a group of boxes, my suit and helmet are black. My codename is Angel of Regret.     

      I reach into his pocket and fishes out a grenade. I toss it into a group of crates and hear along with an explosion a set of screams. Angel of Despair “Good kill”. He is the bomb expert.  Angel of Anguish “Sir, detecting emergency lock doors closing” She is the tech expert. Angel of Anguish “emergency doors closing!!!!”.  I pull a smoke grenade out of my pack and pull the pin. I roll it down floor towards the center grates. “Make sure your air line is secure”.

      The canister rolls down the corridor releasing plumes of gray smoke. In the confusion we make our way through the corridor. “Set the timer” “Yeah, yeah. I don’t want be here when this thing goes off” “You lock down all the life pods?” “All except one” “Good work, then our little operation should go off without a hitch” “Yeah, as long the bridge doesn’t suspect anything”. Two men then make their way to the last remaining life pod. Not a word is spoken between them as they leave.

      The timer reaches zero and an odor less gas exits the canister. Lieutenant “Sir Breach in Sector G” Captain “My God, ready the life pods, I want all hands off the ship” Lieutenant “Sir, life pods not responding” Captain “What, call all security personnel to Sector G” “Sir”. Captain “Ready self destruction protocol Alpha” Lieutenant “Sir?” Captain “We can’t risk spreading the infection”. Lieutenant “Sir, it may be to late already”.

    Angel of Anguish “I think we lost them” “Something is not right” Angel of Anguish “What?” “We should be up to our necks in security personnel.” “Angel of Anguish, break into the bridge com network I want to know what’s going on” Angel of Anguish “But what about our objective?” “The package can wait”. An alarm echoes though the ship. “All hands to sector G”. Angel of darkness “What’s going on?” “Let’s find out”. 

    Johnson “Sir the emergency door of Sector G is shut” Sergeant “Well crack it” Johnson “Yes Sir” Sergeant “Lieutenant you know anything about Sector G?” Lieutenant “Not much, I don’t think anyone really does” Sergeant “Do you think what they say is true?” Lieutenant “Well you can’t possibly believe that stuff can you sergeant?” Sergeant “Well, you never know” Johnson “Sir the doors are cracked” Sergeant “Good work Johnson” Johnson “Thank you Sir”.

      The iron doors slowly move apart revealing to the security personnel the entrance to Lab G. Sergeant “My god what the hell happened here” Johnson “Sir we have movement” Lieutenant “What the hell is that?” Sergeant “Open Fire”. Assault rifles roar and shell casings fall to the ground. Johnson “Sir there is too many” Sergeant “fall back, fall back” Lieutenant “No good were surrounded” Johnson “Sir, sir?” Lieutenant “Shit… you’re not taking me”. The sound of a single gun is heard and the room falls silent. The only sound left is the emergency alarm.

      Lieutenant “Sir all security personnel that have reported to sector G have not returned” Captain “Damn, start the timer” Lieutenant “Yes sir” The sounds of scraping nails can be heard against the emergency lock doors. Lieutenant “What the hell is that?” Captain “All hands get your weapons” Lieutenant “What about the timer?” Captain “I think we’ve run out of time”. The air duck crates fall to the ground clawed to pieces. The bridge officers move in slowly in the dark room. Lieutenant “Sir what was that?” Captain “I don’t know” Lieutenant “This isn’t good”.

Angel of Anguish “Angel of regret” “Yeah, Angel of Anguish?” Angel of Anguish “What happened here?” I don’t answer her.  Angel of despair “My God, they’ve been ripped to pieces”. “Let’s move” Angel of Anguish “Right”. We quickly make our way down the dark corridor. Blood coats the walls and floors like fresh paint. Angel of Anguish “Sir the package is gone”. Angel of despair “Let’s make our way to the bridge”.

      We make our way out of Lab G and their way towards the medic wing. Angel of Anguish “According to the schematics of the ship the quickest way to the bridge is through here” Angel of despair “You heard her, let’s move”.

      The medical wing as well was covered in blood. The lights were out and the room was full of shadows. The only light was the red alarm strobe light. Angel of Anguish “What is going on with this ship?” A figure comes into view, and then falls to the ground. “We have a survivor, Angel of Anguish check his vitals” “You have to get off this ship” Angel of Anguish “Sir, don’t speak your in no condition” “The virus is spreading you have to get out while you still can” Angel of Anguish “Virus?” Angel of Anguish “He’s dead”.

    “Get away from him” The man to convulse. Angel of Anguish “Sir?” he begins to transform. His muscles expand and his skin tears as his muscle mass increases. “Run”. The panic sets as the soldiers run down the corridor being chased by the infected ship mates. The adrenaline pumps through their veins as they sprint for their lives. I hit the emergency alarm and the emergency door begins to close. Angel of despair and I run under the door and make it to the other side. Angel of Anguish ducks under the door and make it to the other side.

      I took off my helmet and I took out a pack of cigarettes, drew one from the pack, put it to my lips and lit it. The smoke rose above my head, I exhaled, smoke exiting my mouth. I placed the photo back into my suit pocket. I sighed.

      Angel of Anguish “how can you just stand there” Angel of Anguish “How can you be so cold”. I didn’t answer her. I just let the smoke escape my lips. I knew what was going on. They had survived. The memories flooded my head like the merciless sea floods the lungs of her victims. Blood was smeared over the walls like fresh paint; Bodies lay on the floor like trash. 

      I dropped the cigarette to the floor and stomped it out with my foot. “We have to make it to the bridge and lock down this ship” Angel of Anguish “You heard him let’s move”. We quickly make our way to the bridge. I walked to door and notice that it is an emergency lock. “Angel of despair, use that C4 on this emergency lock” Angel of despair “one explosion coming right up”. I readied my gun; I didn’t have a good feeling about this. The explosion tore through the ship, the door was obliterated. I saw movement; I fired my gun and heard hellish screams of pain. The creature lunged out the door and on top of me. The creature was on all fours, had razor sharp claws and a long tongue.  Angel of despair fired his shotgun and blew the creature to pieces.

      We moved slowly into the dark room. We encountered three more of those creatures but finally cleared the room. I walked to the main computer and tried to turn it on. “The power is off, we have to go to the engine room” Angel of despair “I really hate this ship” Angel of Anguish “Let’s go”. We made our way out of the bridge and into the stair well.     

      Angel of despair “do you think were being punished” “No, we were following orders, we were just kids” Angel of Anguish “There isn’t a night I don’t dream about it” “We’ve all suffered but this is not our punishment, living with it is our punishment”. Angel of despair “We did very bad things, things you can never forget or forgive”

      Angel of Despair “they were civilians Angel of regret” “at the time we thought they were enemy troops” Angel of Despair “we could see that they were civilians”. “We were following orders damn it”. Angel of Anguish “just following orders like good little dogs of the military”. “Like puppets, just without the strings”.

      “In all likely hood the virus has been released on this ship” I reach into my pack and pull out a bottle of pills. I unscrew the bottle and chew a few. Angel of Anguish “What are those?” “There pills” Angel of despair “They keep the images away?” “No, they keep me stable or as stable as I’ll ever be”.

      I sighed after the events of that day, I had uncontrollable shakes, without the pills I would be a mess. The image of a mother transforming and then attacking her children never left my memory. When ever I closed my eyes, I relived the event. “We have been running from our past all this time but its finally time for us to face it” Angel of Anguish “Lets just hope this is not the last thing we ever face”. Angel of Despair “Amen to that”.