Love, lies and lust

I was running down the street, matching the pound of my feet on the pavement, with the beat of the music drumming through my ears. Trying to drown out the world, I pushed myself forward, ignoring the darkness consuming me. I could hear the howl of the wolves; feel the eyes watching me from the trees. I sprinted on, leaving a world of hate, and bitterness behind me. I wanted real answers, to find out what was really going on. I was tired of being left out in the dust.

Chapter 1

The same images played behind my eyelids, the pictures scarred along the surfaces. The stranger of my dreams, the face I’ve never been able to feel, see, or judge. The darkness threatened to slither its long tendrils into the safe light of the street. A dream I’ve seen more than once. Knowing what’s going to happen next, I prepare myself for a mental state of mind. Nothing was ever clear, like looking through a fogged up window. I could never make sense of anything, and as I turned around, my mysterious stranger met me, face to face. His body was outlined with a dark shadow, his shiny black hair hung over his long, sad face. Before I could run, I found myself reaching out to touch him, to unmask his hidden beauty. To my surprise, he tried reaching back. But I was being pulled away, by everything and nothing. Being pulled back to reality, I tried with all my strength to return to him, to turn is sad face, to the bright, content face I know it used to be.

I jolted upright, soaked in my own sweat. My white tank top soaked right through. The light still shined through the bottom of my bedroom door, so I went to crawl onto the couch with my mom. The one person that always seemed to have that amazing way of making me feel better. I wiped my sleepy eyes, and padded down the stairs in my bare feet. I sprawled across the couch, leaving my legs lying across her Sudoku page.

“Come on Anastasia, I’m trying to do my Sudoku. Aren’t you supposed to be in bed, you have an early day tomorrow.” As she started lecturing me about how I never get enough sleep, I let out a long heavy sigh. And showed her my gums that were once again pulsating. Causing me enough pain to cry out whenever she laid her finger upon them.

“I had that dream again mom, it’s nothing.” As per usual, she went into super mom mode and woke up my step dad. My biological father lived in Moncton, and I lived in Springhill. Dan shuffled his way into the living room, clearly still groggy from his sleep. Trying to tell my mom to just ignore it and let me go back to sleep, she waved my idea aside and once again, made Dan look at my gums. Neither of them had any idea of what was going on and figured my teeth were still shifting, since I didn’t wear my retainer. I returned to my bedroom, excited to fall back to my sleep, knowing that my dream wouldn’t come back to me again tonight. I laid on my bed, staring at the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling that have been there since I was four. I stuffed my headphones back into my ears and let myself drift to sleep to the soothing words and sound of Owl City. I slept a dreamless sleep, and morning came faster than it should. I rolled over and threw my Hello Kitty pillow across my room at my alarm clock, checking my phone in the process. I always wondered why I got up so early, it only took me half an hour to get ready. I stripped off my clothes and stood in front of the mirror in my bra and underwear. Assessing myself and looking at my long torso and long legs in the mirror. My skin was somewhat pale, but I had a tinge of olive tone. My Acadian side shining through. I pulled my long curly hair from the messy sleep bun I had it in. My locks tangled within each other from my rough night’s sleep. I turned the shower on, and as the bathroom filled with hot steam, I rubbed the mirror to return to my reflection. But this time I saw myself completely different. I wasn’t who I really was, I was pure, beautiful, unmarked. As I glimpsed away, my reflection turned to normal. And my heart rate sped up. I was sure my mom could hear my heart stammering. I got my act together and stepped into the shower. Watching all of the water run over my skin, slip away into the deep dark drain. I drenched myself in my body wash, inhaling the sweet scent of honey and lemon. As I was shaving my legs, I slid over an old cut, reopening my skin, letting a thin line of blood trickle down my shin.

“Shit.” I complained, trying to rinse off the blood. Wincing at the pain, that wasn’t as bad as I thought it, was going to be.

I was about to get out of the shower when my nose caught a scent drifting through the air. Making me turn my head and catching my attention right away. I figured it was my mom making her special chocolate chip muffins and a strawberry milkshake, because that was what she always did when I had one of my dreams. An ‘episode’ she would call them. Making my way out of the shower, I dried myself off and applied the slick white lotion to my legs. Tracing my previous footsteps back into my blue bedroom, I opened my closet doors. My clothes easy to pick, I grabbed my royal blue American apparel sweater and my jeans. My brother Jacob was sitting at the table eating lucky charms, while I made my way to the fridge to grab an apple.

“Freak!” Jacob yelled, and was told to shut up by Dan smacking him across the head with a rolled up newspaper.

“Ow that hurt, you almost made me spill my lucky charms” He complained, sticking his pierced tongue out at Dan.

“Oh shut up Snot Face. It’d probably be good if you spilt you’re lucky charms, maybe you wouldn’t be so god damned fat.” My typical morning consisted of constant bickering with my brother, and the laughs, love and hugs from my parents. I watched as my mom and Dan cuddled by the kitchen sink, slowly sipping their third cups of morning coffee to get them ready for the long day ahead. Debating on whether or not I should pour myself a cup, I decided not to. I wasn’t exactly a big fan of stinky coffee breath. And neither were my friends.