September Song

its strange when one wishes to die
is it poverty, suicidal,self apathy
or the lost of pride
as the beeline queue of people begging to have a sack of rice
from its sworn mortal enemy,uncle sam,
forlorn looks and deep eyes looking into emptiness
like the coming of autumn
those green fields will turn to brown
wilted and weary
as winter creeps slowly among the mountain top
these wiill be a painful routine for most of them

dr sharif was busy talking to his contact
he needs to get a permit for me to enter swat valley
as he continues negotiating on his nokia
i looked around the hospital\ther's calm and peace\green leaves and beautiful flowers

he came with despair face
'the army may or may not grant you the permit sab.they need few days to decide,'dr sharif said in weak voice
i paused from my sightseeing
i looked around and tried to find inspiration
i looked down on the ground, those barren ground
i have travelled many miles to be here
i faced him
'sir,if i want to go ..would you help me?,my voice whisper soft but loud enough for him to hear
'sab..this is for Allah..i will take you anywhere you want to go'.
chalo...we go to mingora
my face lighted up
i know the risks
yes i have family
these are just some of the hard decisions that i have made over the years
i have to go there and see for myself
it may seems like a piece from tom clancy
but these are realities that i usually face on the ground

as the corolla zoomed
we left the hot plains of peshawar and headed to malakand
dr sharif said to me in his normal mannered voice
sir..you must look forward
do not look at the guards
you dnt say a thing and u dont hear a thing
'i'm a deaf mute sir'..we broke into laughter
in that case, i will pretend sleeping
ok thats gd, i will say that you are a doctor from karachi..
i was already in my korthi
that traditional garb that pakistani men wears
huge pants and flimsy shirt
but i like its airyness
yes i will be a pakistani

k we r nearing the check point
before you reach it, the car moved zigzag slowly along the concrete barricade that were put on d road
constatntine wires guarding the perimeters
i looked around as stubborn as ever
guards piercing eyes behind sandbags
with rpg muzzles jutting out
ready to shoot if need be
sentries with AKs in on mode
armored jacket
then i slipped into my sleeping mood
i heard dr sharif and suhil, the driver went out the car
i could hear they are saying doctors doctors few times
then a salam
the door slammed
and we were on our way
a minute later i opened my eyes and asked dr sharif
what did u say
i told them that we are doctors and we are carrying laboratory chemicals and need to carry on moving
hehehehehe ..smart chap
he said again,
you come here with the blessing of Allah,i have no fear
now we can go in peace

but its difficult to take pics\
there are many sentries
police and army personnel moving around
my hand itchy to flip my camera
but that would compromise the safety of everyone
no foreigners have enter swat
90% of the refugees have gone home
but there are still army operations over the mountains
choppers and trucks
jeeps zoomed past the street with sirens blaring
no wonder there are more depression case
always in constant fear

green mountains guarding on all sides
it is far cry from the brown barren peshawar
it is still hot here
but i can imagine how serenity is the town when its winter

i found out later that there was a suicide bombing 2 blocks from my hotel
so theres curfew everyday
people hurriedly buys goods and items during the day
by 7 the streets are empty
like a street in one of those ghost movies
deserted not a soul
its shoot on sight
so quiet
the town becomes a lonely place to be
its just painful and sorrow lingers

as i looked at the mountain
twinkles lights beeping like morse code
you may be tricked to think those are stars
they are houses up in the mountain
so magical and beautiful
i stood at the balcony
enjoying the quietness

i just missed home very much
like a changing of the season
i hope spring will come earlier when im home
and my loved ones could read those morse code twinkling among the stars
that i miss them very much
ill be back home soon
good nite and sweet dreams