My Sister

The worst thing about living so far apart
Is that I can't be there when you need me
I can't whack your husband over the head
With an iron skillet when he's being a cad
When you need a ride to the store
I can't come over there
When men have gotten you down
We can't go out on a night on the town
If I lived near you
That would be a sight to see
Your old man would have been sick of seeing me
He would have groaned "Oh, not her again"
And wanted to hide or lock the door
And that pastor of yours
I would have a few words for him too
Then I would smile sweetly
And hand him a bible
Tilt my head, and suggest he read it again
Remind him to pay attention this time
The only comfort I can give you
Is these words I know to be true
Somewhere out there is a man for you
One who will not stray and means the words he says
And, remember, I am only a phone call away