the quest for a pearl

Patience dwindles between a place of
Success and complete abandonment,
One shall come but only painful painful time
Can reveal the conclusion to my insanity.
With each passing moment,
Patience slips further and further out of reach
And I am cast further into despair,
Blessed are those who wait,
I don't feel blessed,
And I fear my patience will exhaust prior to my blessing.
Who are they to decide my fate?
Those fallen angels of the night,
Their beautiful faces hide their empty eyes and hollow chests,
But their shame is my knowledge and resentfulness is my reward.
If I stay the course set before me,
Success surely will be attained,
But destruction lurks behind every twist of the road of fate,
For if I falter and lose patience
Sweet sweet patience,
All my efforts, all my struggles, all my pains
Will be silenced to a vain tomb of darkness and regret, and I too
Will have been seduced by the hollow harlots
That plague every young man's thoughts.
But she is out there, the one who has experienced my struggle,
The one that enters my most sacred and reserved thoughts,
Her voice calls to me ever so sweetly
And yet it is faint, but my feelings are strong.
So be tame my wondering eye, be quiet my stomach churning with lust,
For my innocence and my love shall forever remain hers.
How is it possible to give up so much, and reserve so much,
For a person I have yet to meet?
Where do I attain such strength and patience?
It is only from the distant feeling that if I hold fast to my faith,
And keep my head down that I can achieve
My goal in discovering my angel, my precious pearl,
So rare and beautiful, yet untouched and pure from any man.
This lovely thought keeps me from stumbling,
This idea of perfection defeats my lustful thoughts
And tames the longing of my hands and lips.
She is among us, I know it, her presence drawls near to me
And her voice grows stronger than ever.
One day I will seek her out,
But until that day I will remain a strong tower
And wear the key to my heart around my neck.
Guide me O Lord and ease my pain
As i press on ever-alert and ever searching.
I am righteous and will not settle for ordinary things