Life as a can of Tuna

This took me an hour plus an empty stomach!. Here sits this freshly packed piece of nutritional substance, waiting to be opened so that it explodes the taste buds with a savory sense of satisfaction. The only down side to this man made creation is, someone has to choose whether or not to take the can off the self. The can of course is able to lure the shopper by wearing a certain brand of label, and adhering to the needs of a premescius strumpet. (taste). ; but mainly the can sits and waits; all the time dreaming of being chosen and used wisely. As the tuna can sits patiently, it notices some of the other cans are going before it, large white albacore the norm of social tuna, (just what every girl dreams of) plucked first, yellow fin( without dolphin) finds itself in the basket as well. Poor starkist!!! Picked up and fondled, it's nutrition value read aloud so that the others can laugh and judge. For best results, read back of package, and scamper away as fast as possible. May cause fear of own self. Impossible to keep in home. To much leakage of self pity. Poor starkist!!! What shall it do? Well for the can of unwanted tuna, it has a plan; one that includes self doubt with self sacrifice! Of course self gratification will also come along for the journey. The first change, it's label; great for kids, and goes great with any occasion!! The starkist thinks this might not work. Next to follow, but kills the tuna,, location! Were else would an unwanted tuna can want to establish residency? Why sitting next to the Kosher Dill pickle. Why of course! brilliant plan mr. tuna can man!!! What a great combination; pickle and tuna. Put those two together and you have yourself one lip smacking self indulging treat! This seemed to work for a short while, but the high seemed to wear off. There was something missing." Oh what could it be" the can asked, I have a pickle! With nothing to tickle! Hmmm thought the tuna! Then it struck the can like the label machine across the border in Mexico. White mayonnaise! When putting the two together, then adding mayonnaise to the product, the two has just created one miraculous dish. Which of course it took both! So know the tuna, added with the proper ingredients, can cause an overwhelming orgasm in the mouth!!!


Note from the author, I hope you stayed up all night reading this one!! I had tuna for diner tonight. Wish is would have had a pickle as well.