Life Changes Exchanges

Life; Changes,Exchanges


I’m so sick of feeling unwanted from nearly everyone in my life.
Why can’t you people understand that the only thing in my life that is keeping me happy, keeping me breathing, keeping me alive, is not you.
I do not think that the people who are supposed to be the most influential in my life are the ones who influence negativity..
I do not want to be like you. That part of me is dead and gone and I can’t see it coming back to life.
I know you wish the old me was still around but I have moved on to bigger, better things. My life will hopefully never be the same.
I need you to understand that in order for a friendship to form, and as well, stay strong, there needs to be;
HAPPINESS,
FORGIVENESS,
SUPPORT,
LAUGHTER,
TEARS,
AGONY,
FRUSTRATION,
LOVE,
FIGHTS,
MAKE-UPS,
SORROW
All of which act like an industrial adhesive to keep the bond strong.
I wish you only knew the disappointment, anger, sadness, and agony I feel almost each and every day because of your words, your thoughts, your actions.
I do not understand how you can go from being together every day, attached at the hips, text-book teenagers at their highs, and lows.
Their very highs, and their very lows. Together, vowing, always to be friends.
It seems like only yesterday when we were that way. The exact way you would find the definition of  “teenage girls” in a copy of Webster’s, and now, it seems like it was just today, we acted as if the other had fallen off the planet, but not seeming to care that the other one is gone, only caring of ourselves and our new slew of friends. New men, new friends, new classes, new cars, new license, new jobs, new me, knew you…

Our worlds may never again collide once the awful years of high school retreat into the back files of our young, achieving, fresh-out-of-college brains.
Our paths may never again cross once we begin our journey down the long, winding road aptly called “Future and Success”.
Our wounds may never heal from the deep gashes of slander, rumors, and sometimes torture brought on by deceitful, hurt, distrusting young girls who will never again feel the friendship of someone they once helped through their worst of times, laughed with about the good times, and reminisced with about the old times.
Simply because they allowed their pain, misery and jealousy to get the best,
(maybe what was left?)
of them.
Your new friends,
cannot
won’t
I hope
ever
will they?
NEVER
replace me.
Things may never be the same.
Things may fall back into the puzzle we had once completed together.
Things may never get better.
Things may become better than they ever were.
Things may heal.
Your wounds may heal.
My wounds may heal.
Maybe they won’t?
But one thing is for certain:
My feelings will never be the same as they once were, because I was betrayed by those who, at a point in my life, were everything I had.
Now I feel I’m better off without you.
But, somehow I still need you.
But I don’t know if I can ever look at you the same.
I’m sorry it ever came this far,
maybe it was just meant to be this way?
How can anyone ever know?
No one is certain of anything, because
People change.
Things change,
Feelings change,
Days change,
The seasons change,
Everything changes.