The Ultimate Contest

      It was another ordinary day at Hogwarts. Wand-wielding first-years tried to best each other at simple spells, older students pulled pranks on various faculty members, and Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy set out to traumatize each other as much as possible.

      The two aforementioned wizards had just finished a duel, in which Malfoy cheated- again- and Harry showed off a talent he had never known he had- again. Both agreed it was getting old.

      “This is the last straw, Potter. I say we end it!”

         “I agree. We should have a contest. A battle of wits to end all battles of wits!”

         Malfoy leaned forward with interest. “I never thought I’d say this, but you’ve got the right idea, Potter.”

         “No wands,” Harry said indignantly. “You cheat every time.” Malfoy scowled. Harry continued, “Besides, this shouldn’t be a contest of skill; we’ve already established that we’re on equal footing with that.”

         Malfoy considered this. He hated to admit that Harry was right; every one of their matches ended in a stalemate. “So, we should have a challenge of mind, without weapons?”

         Harry nodded.

~*~

         “Of course, I was sure I could best him. After all, it’s Harry Potter we’re talking about. Lots of luck, and no brains. I mean, the guy’s barely smarter than Crabbe and Goyle. No offense,” he added.

         “None taken,” Crabbe and Goyle managed between mouthfuls of cupcakes.

         “So what did you do?” asked Pansy, who was absentmindedly stroking Draco’s hair.

         “Well, he would’ve expected me to challenge his magical know-how or something, but I wanted to shock him. Actually, I kind of shocked myself…”

~*~

         “I suggest a kissing contest,” said Malfoy.

         Harry managed to pass off his shocked cry for a cough. “What the hell are you-”

         “Just hear me out,” the Slytherin said quickly. “It doesn’t involve magic, and it’s a test of endurance. Kissing each other is a revolting idea to both of us, so it’s fair…” I can’t believe I’m actually justifying that ridiculous outburst, he thought bitterly.

         Harry was still skeptical, but he knew where his rival was going. “We’d both be breaking each other’s personal boundaries, so our only defense would be in our minds.”

         “Yeah,” Malfoy continued, “We would have to keep our wits about us to succeed.”

         “So really, it’s like a contest of who can survive torture the longest,” Harry smirked.

         Draco nodded earnestly. “And I’m a Death Eater, so I have to be able to withstand torture. Same with you being the Chosen One.”

         Both wizards froze. “You’re really serious, aren’t you?” asked Harry.

         “Yes.” There was a short pause. “Do you accept the challenge?”

         Harry summoned all the pride he could muster. “Yes.”

         Draco looked Harry in the eye. “Okay then. Tomorrow in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. Eight o’clock.”

         Harry nodded curtly, and they both walked away without uttering another word.

~*~

         Hermione rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what’s worse: that Draco Malfoy invited you to make out with him or that you said yes.”

         “Hey!” Harry said a little too forcefully. “He challenged me to a battle of wits. I couldn’t refuse!”

         “I know exactly what you mean, Harry,” Ron replied with a serious tone. “Rejecting a dare makes you a loser. And a loser you are not.”

         “Yeah. See?” Harry put an arm on Ron’s shoulder. “He gets me.”

         Hermione rolled her eyes again. “Boys,” she muttered.

         Ron turned to Harry. “So how was your date? And don’t leave out any details, you stud.”

         Harry shot Ron a dirty look before continuing.

~*~

         I can’t believe I agreed to this, thought Draco as he stood in the empty girls’ bathroom. Empty, that is, except for himself and Moaning Myrtle. Normally, when Myrtle saw a boy in the girls’ bathroom, she would’ve said something; but the look on Malfoy’s face told her to stay away. So she floated silently in the corner, watching him suspiciously.

         Draco was just standing there angsting. I should never have come here. This is so stupid. But I couldn’t just say no, especially since it was my brilliant idea. At this point, he rolled his eyes sarcastically, ignoring the raised eyebrow from Myrtle. And where the hell is Potter?

         Harry walked purposefully towards the dreaded bathroom. I can’t believe I agreed to this, he thought coldly. This is so stupid. But I can’t back down from a challenge, especially one coming from Malfoy. He stopped in front of the bathroom door and sighed. Well, here I go. Harry pushed open the door dramatically and walked inside.

         Draco turned to face his adversary. “A bit of a dramatic entrance for a girls’ bathroom, don’t you think?”

         Harry scoffed. “You’re just jealous.”

         “Whatever.” Draco stood at arm’s length from Harry. They looked each other in the eye. Both wizards were determined to win at all costs.

         “Okay,” said Harry. “Neither of us may push the other away.”

         “And neither of us may pull away from the other, unless they’re doing so to allow breathing.”

         “The first to violate either of these conditions loses by forfeit.” Harry put his hands on Draco’s shoulders. “Are you ready?”

         Draco mimicked Harry’s action. “Ready.”

         So they pulled each other into a kiss.

         They both had their faces scrunched up into grimaces, tensing up every muscle in disgust. Malfoy’s lips were pursed very tightly, and so were Harry’s. It looked to Myrtle like they were in very real pain. Making those facial expressions proved to be physically taxing after several seconds, and little by little, they started to relax.

         Okay, you can do this, Draco told himself. Just focus. This is disgusting, but Potter isn’t budging. Maybe I should up the ante…

         Harry pulled away slightly to catch his breath.

         Perfect. Draco took the chance to shove his tongue into Harry’s mouth. Harry nearly gagged, and he had to wrestle the intruding tongue to keep it away from his throat.

         At this point, both of them were thinking the same thing: Ew, ew, ew, ew. Eeeeew!

~*~

         Draco paused and looked at his friends. Crabbe and Goyle were staring at him open-mouthed, and apparently hadn’t finished chewing their sweets. Draco scrunched up his face and demanded they swallow their food. Embarrassed, they did as told.

         Pansy wasn’t sure whether to slap Draco or praise him. She decided there was plenty of time for punishment when he was through telling the story. “That was brave of you. It certainly gave you the advantage,” she offered supportively.

         “But then he…” Draco’s face paled at the memory. “He…”

~*~

         Ron barely stifled a laugh. “You grabbed his ass!?”

         “Well, when you put it that way…”

         Hermione was stunned speechless, but glared at Ron for laughing. Ron tried to mask his grin with a look of disgust. “I mean, why would you do such a foul thing?” Now he was shaking with silent fits of giggles.

         Harry shrugged. “What can I say? I was caught up in the moment.”

         Ron burst into roaring laughter and Hermione shook her head, chuckling. Harry continued to recount the story.

~*~

         Once Harry copped a feel, Draco shrieked and shoved him back. Harry landed hard on his rump. Myrtle could be heard cackling nearby as Harry rubbed his mouth triumphantly. “Looks like I win, Malfoy,” he grinned.

         “You cheated!” Draco bellowed, clearly horrified. “That doesn’t count!”

         “Oh yeah?” Harry retorted mockingly. “Then I suppose you want a rematch?”

         Draco’s face turned reddish-purple and his eye twitched dangerously. “You win this time, Potter,” he growled before storming out of the bathroom.

         Just then, one of the stall doors opened, and Colin Creevey stepped out. Harry stood up, and Colin noticed him.

         “Oh. Hi, Harry,” said Colin. He smiled nervously.

         “Hey, Colin…” Harry noted his camera. “What are you doing here?”

         “Oh. Um… Uh, not taking pictures? Yeah, that’s what I’m doing.”

         Harry shrugged. “Okay. See you later.” He walked away without giving it a second thought.

~*~

         “That is, until this photo showed up in the school newspaper?” Hermione remarked before waving said newspaper in front of his face. Sure enough, Draco and Harry had made the front page.

         “Unfortunately,” mumbled Harry.

         “Hey, there’s a bright side to this,” said Ron. “Just imagine the look on Malfoy’s face when he sees the paper!”