Dark Place

Full of anger and full of hurt
and full of resentment
over what I am,
what I can do and what I can't.
I am frustrated by my limitations
and why I can't get past them
to something better.

I want to rage, scream, kill
and cry.

I want to hurt as I hurt
to harm as I feel harmed
to kill as I slowly die inside
to peel away the flesh
and let the blackness that I am
that I lie in
that I breathe in
be what you all see.

I want to be in my dark place
and sing my dirge.

I want to reach up and see
light waiting
to see a hand reaching
to see my past melting
in foggy clouds of memory
obscured and hate fading.
I want to hear a kind voice
telling me I am special
telling me I am loved
telling me I can make it
telling me....

I want to weep and huddle,
cower in my safe place.

Can you see my pain,
my tremors of fear?
Can you see my rage, my claws
reaching to tear the kindness
you may offer?

Leave me be
I need to cry
I need to rage and scream
I need to hurt you
I need to be the monster
I want my dark place
I want..... help