Alley Cat

I met Nick during my first week at Richard Huish College, in Taunton, Somerset.  I had lived in Taunton maybe 9 years and knew the town well. Many of my friends from secondary school were also going to the same college. Many, but not all of them; my closest friends went to SCAT, an art based college next to the secondary school, which, for many of them meant not straying too far from familiarity (we had frequently  walked the halls of the college whilst bunking off P.E. or Drama).
         So, there I was in a new place with friends I didn’t fit in with. They were the clever ones; the ones that could name every element from the periodic table and do long, complicated sums in their heads. I felt out of place and was glad when they left for double physics. I didn’t have a lesson so instead opted for a ciggie. There was another guy sat on the wall trying to roll one. He didn’t particularly stand out, other than the fact he was the only one in the entire smoking area. He had black shoulder length hair and it looked as if he was trying to grow a beard on the underside of his chin. I didn’t want to seem like a loner smoking my life away so I asked the guy if he’d like a straight in exchange for some company.
         “Oh? Well, yea, sure, if that’s OK? I can’t roll this for shit. Take a seat,” he patted the wall beside him.
         “Us smokers,” I said, “we gotta stick together right? Anyways, I’m Felix. Who’re you? You kinda remind me of Kurt Cobain with your hair and stuff!”
         “Well, you know, he’s one of my idols so maybe that explains it! And you’re too right about us smokers, man! It’s nice to meet you though,” he outstretched a hand, “I’m Nick.”

*
We were both doing Archaeology at Huish, but since we had different timetables the only time we really saw each other was at lunch hour, when we’d congregate with Jen (a good friend from secondary school. She also lived near Nick and was a close friend of his too) and a few other mutual buddies in the smoking area and spend half the hour trying to roll a fag (I had switched from straights to rollies because they were cheaper). Nick, Jen and I always hung around with each other – we each shared the same tastes in music and never took anything too seriously – and from this a strong friendship grew.
         One lunch hour Jen, Nick and I began talking about what we were planning to do after college. I hadn’t thought about it much:
         ‘I’m not sure really. I’m just gonna see how it goes here first and then decided from there, I guess. I’m thinking uni but I’m not sure what I’m gonna wanna do yet. What about you, Nick?
         ‘Well, I’m not really too sure either but I’d quite like to work with animals – they absolutely fascinate me, you know. All of them are unique in their own special way. I could sit here and talk to you all day about the different species of hedgehog if you really wanted to know, ha ha.’
         ‘Aww, Nature Boy Nick!’ mocked Jen, ‘I think it’s sweet though, that you’re so passionate about wildlife and stuff.’
         ‘Yea, ha ha, you could say that!’ exclaimed Nick, ‘I’d like to work for the RSPCA or something. Even if it was just volunteer work. I could get a proper job and move to Hatch Beauchamp and do that on the side or something! Nature is my passion and I know I’d be happy doing that. First I gotta finish here though…which could be easier said than done, ha ha!’

                                                           *

         Nick was always happy, always smiling and always joking around. He was one of those few people that seemed to have a smile painted on their face no matter what was happening around them. Once, when he’d just learnt he’d failed a biology module he wasn’t worried or stressed about it; no, it was optimism that shone through – typical Nick:
         ‘It doesn’t matter,’ he mused, ‘it’s only a number on a piece of paper at the end of the day. And I can always re-take it. Even if I fail again it won’t matter because I’ll probably never have a use for ‘Biochemistry, enzymes and digestion’ anyways!’
         It was because of his love of life and easy going nature that many of his friends (including me) couldn’t see what was going on beneath the surface.

*

         When I didn’t see him in college for about a week I knew something was up. Jen filled me in:
         ‘Well, I went round to see Nick, ‘cos, y’know, he hasn’t been in college for a while. I’d tried ringin’ an’ stuff but there was no answer so I guessed something was up. Anyways, when he wasn’t at home I started to get worried. This was at about eleven at night. Then I remembered he’d mentioned this place he sometimes went when he needed to think. It was this big field on the side of a hill where you could see for miles. Anyways, by the time I remembered where it was, ‘cos, y’know, he’d taken me there once but it was a while back, it was getting on one in the morning. He was there, and he was talking to a cow. He wasn’t drunk or anything but I don’t think he wanted to be alone. Anyways, we stayed there for hours. He told me he was there because his girlfriend had admitted to cheating on him and so he was pretty cut up about it and didn’t know what to do. We stayed there till the sun came up and then went back home. But I’m really worried about him now, Fe. That bitch has fucked with his head and I don’t know what to do about it.’

*

         After that incident things went back to normal – Nick seemed happy again; he got back together with his girlfriend (after many failed attempts to convince him not too) and was taking anti-depressants. The second year of college was almost over and talk of UCAS and Uni was getting louder and louder by the day. But not for Nick; he’d failed one of his modules in Archaeology and so had to retake the year. He seemed optimistic enough though:
         “It’s OK! I’ll be fine! This time round I’ll actually know what the hell I’m talking about, ha ha. Passing will be easy!” he’d tell us.

*

When college was finally over the three of us each said our goodbyes and made promises to meet up over the holidays once more before we drifted our separate ways to the Universities across the country. I never met up with Nick and Jen that summer, at least not at the same time. It was difficult because we were all working full time and they lived about an hour and a half from Taunton. I was also spending a lot of time with other friends at their places getting pissed on cheap cider and vodka so didn’t think much about the people I hadn’t seen in a while. I was having a good time and so Nick and Jen drifted from my memory. But I’ll always regret not meeting up for one final time, just the three of us mulling over the college days.
*

When I was back home after breaking up early for the summer after my first year of Uni I met Nick by chance in The Perkin, Taunton’s main watering hole. He seemed to be much the same as the last time I’d seen him – same under-the-chin beard, same black shoulder-length hair, still having trouble with the art of rolling tobacco. We thought we’d have a smoke for old time’s sake and the conversation soon drifted to the usual fare of friends-who-haven’t-seen-each-other-in-a-while: how uni/work and life in general was going. I enjoyed our drunken chat and we resolved once again to meet up over the summer. But there were to be no more chance meetings and the next time we were together would be under tragic circumstances.

*

Nick Scorer died on the 2nd of June, 2008. When I first got the call from Jen I couldn’t believe it. It just didn’t seem real. The last time I had seen him seemed like the old Nick – he seemed happy. And because I had only seen him a few weeks before it made it seem all the more unreal, especially after all the talk of meeting up over the summer.
         Being his best friend, Jen was suffering the worst and I didn’t want to push her, but I needed to know how it had happened. Apparently it was some kind of brain trauma or haemorrhage that caused his death. He was taking anti-depressants at the time but it was unclear whether his death had been accidental or deliberate. Just days before he died his girlfriend confessed to cheating on him again.