The Accident Instructor

Word Count: 434

“It’s called Murphy’s Curse,” Nora said, as she helped Calvin to his feet. “It happens all the time to new instructors at this university, especially those assigned to Accident Prevention 101.”

“You mean, I can expect to walk into this class room everyday trip over the door stop, in front of all fifty of my students.”

“This semester it’s seventy-five students, Calvin.” She smiled as she picked his books up and laid them on the instructor’s desk. “We have twenty-five retaking the class because they failed last semester.”

“Now that we have the students’ attention, perhaps you should introduce me and then find the observers seat.”

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” she addressed the class, “this is Mr. Calvin Hoffman and he will be the instructor for Accident Prevention 101.” She sat down in the chair on the left side of the desk.

“Students,” he picked up a book from the pile on his desk, “open your books to page…” Calvin stared at the mathematics book he was holding. “I seem to have brought the wrong book.”

“That’s all right, Mr. Hoffman,” said the red-haired student in the first row. “The principle keeps an extra book in the top right hand drawer of the desk because all of the accident instructors get confused on the first day of class. I’m Selma Norris and I’m retaking this class this semester.”

Nora smiled sweetly as she watched Calvin sweat. He’s doing better then the last instructor, she thought. At least, he didn’t leave after he fell into the classroom.

“Miss Norris, can you tell me what you learned from the last class.”

“Yes, Mr. Hoffman, I learned that everyone taking this class is accident prone and if we don’t observe the demonstrations and do the homework, we will fail the class, some of us for a second or third time.”

“Very good, Miss Norris,” an ill smile crossed his face as he realized he had brought neither lecture notes nor student assignment sheets. “As some of you already know, there are several theories about what causes people to be accident prone. Part of your final grade will be a paper on one of those theories; you may either prove or disprove one of those theories from both research and personal experience. Do you have any questions?”

“When is the thesis due?” Selma asked.

“In two weeks. If there are no more questions, the class is dismissed to the library to begin your research.”

“Very good, Calvin,” Nora smiled, “you seem to be able to land on your feet quite well. I hope you’re better prepared for Wednesday’s class.”