Review of TASHAN

One movie I remember the most purely because of the effect it had on me is Tashan. I have to thank the Chopra community for providing me with such an extensive repertoire. I owe them many film reviews.

So size zero Kareena manages to find time between doling out "power yoga" discourses and the benefits of the "aloo-paratha" breakfast to "dance mare" with much publicized and much tattooed boyfriend Saif and "chance mare" with Akshay Kumar in a highly unconvincing childhood sequence which which explains the rise of a small town belle ( named Gudiya) to the scheming seductress , a career move justified as the best course to avenging her father's murder.

She avenges him by running off with his killer's money to Mauritian islands where she dances and sings in tropical paradise " very happy in her heart", till the director remembers the reason for her stealing the money and sends her to "Benares", where she is discovered mermaid-like underwater by Saif and Akshay who are pretty aquatic themselves.

This amphibian trio then sets out to recover the stolen goods hidden wherever the unit got a chance to shoot or wanted to visit. Here "white white face" Kapoor sheds and cuts garments to reveal the sole reason for her agreeing to do the film, and discovers childhood flame in Chesire Cat Kumar. He is the "good bad-guy" (its a Chopra invented character trait) , and tries unsuccessfully to look coy in all romantic sequences as befits a small town "seedha-saadha" murderer, but probably too aware of boyfriend Saif lurking behind, just ends up looking harassed. Then enters "Tashan" laden Anil Kapoor (he he this has to be an oxymoron, for the uninitiated Tashan is equal to style), and seductress murders him in a Kill Bill (shocked emoticon) sequence.

Since the director thought the story would be too brutal to digest, he interspersed the film with well meaning light hearted sequences. So Anil Kapoor tries to be diverting as a novice to the English language, but speaking it nevertheless (aww so cute na?? ), Akshay is the village hottie (maidens swoon "dil ye beating fast") who works on his bad boy image by playing "Ravana" when not getting electrified by Kareena and poles in that order.

Don't risk watching it!