wonder poem

I lay awake because I cannot sleep
and I wonder
about so many different things
because I am not like most people
I live a hidden life
a life full of ups and downs
a life full of challenges
sometimes I wonder how I conquer these challenges
as well as I do
I lay awake wondering
when will I be able to love myself and be able to accept me for who I am
when am I ever going to meet the special someone
when I do find that special someone are they going to be able to love and accept me for me
knowing that I am different and not like other people?
It is hard because I feel like I am alone
I feel like I am the only one who is going through this
Sometimes I feel like I'm not appealing
I feel like I am ugly on the outside and the inside.
I lay awake
wondering if I am ever going to find true love
another sleepless night
with no one to cuddle with and whisper in my ear that everything will be ok
when sometimes I question if it truly will be.
Sometimes I feel like no one notices me as if I'm invisible.
I wonder if anyone thinks about me but it too afraid to tell me
I wonder if any young lady will ever like me as more than a friend.

I wish someone is thinking about right at this very moment in time and sometimes I wish they would tell me.
So, that I do not have to ask and look like a fool.
I wonder if the next time I tell someone that I am attracted to them that I will not get rejected
and end up looking like an idiot for one last time.
I have had my heart broken and have broken some hearts.
I have endured so much emotional and physical pain that sometimes I wonder and wish if anything good will ever happen to me?
I wonder what my purpose in life is?
I wonder if I will ever get married, start a family and have a successful career?
I wonder as I lay awake when something good will finally happen to me because I feel like I have waited long enough.
I will keep waiting but not sure how much more patience I will have.
Another sleepless night I lay awake and wonder
what does “true love” look and feel like?
Because I have never been in “true love” before.
Another sleepless night full of waiting and wonder
Another sleepless night I pray and say, “ when will something good ever happen to me?
I have wondered and waited long enough.
It is about time for my wait and wonder to be over a done with
a moment of wonder is wandering way too long.