Built For Sin; Chapter 1

The air came from my lungs as cold little white clouds. I stood amongst the silence, no one else but me, at the nearest bus station. My mind raced. My palms were sweaty. My chest was throbbing. I forced myself to calm down, not allowing this to be a bad memory of leaving the town I'd grown up in. I closed my acid blue eyes, heavily lidded in black makeup, and remembered.

I remember the police coming to the door. Knocking, and myself awnsering. I looked at them, and from the expression in their eyes I knew something was terribly wrong. The police officer, my old youth pastor Ted, told me my parents had been killed in a car crash. They died on impact. They didn't suffer. And that my mom had wanted to give me something.

I was handed a small package. I read the tag "Happy 21st birthday, Rebecca.", inside was my cousin Shelly's ring and a necklace that had belonged to my grandmother. I felt the hot tears swim into my vision. But I would remain strong. I nodded to Ted, thanked him for coming by, and went back to my room. My knees gave way and I slumped to the ground. The tears came, along with howling sobs. I was truly alone now.

I hadn't made any new friends once Bree left. Bree was my best friend, and we adopted her for a little while before she made the decision to go to live with her best guy friend in Virginia. That was three years ago. And I hadn't seen her since except for one Christmas when she came down. I thought about calling her, and gathered enough strenght to dial her number.

"Hello? Becca?" Bree said, her usual chipper voice.
"Mom and dad are dead. Car wreck. No home. No one." I choked out between sobs.
"WHAT?! Oh Becca! Sweetie, take the next bus to Winchester. I'll be waiting at the station to meet you. Pack only what you need and make sure to lock the door and stuff, okay? When you get here we'll figure out what to do about the house and everything. Oh you poor baby.." Bree said, I could hear the tears in her voice.
I heard Alex ask what was wrong, and Bree explain the situation. I hear a shuffle and his flamboyant voice soothed my ear.
"Baby, you get your butt up here right now, okay? I will be there when you get here." I heard him order.
I said okay and that I'd be there soon.

Then I started packing. I packed a few weeks worth of clothes, my laptop, my X-Box, my cellphone and charger, and my purse. I grabbed my Monster boots and slipped them on, throwing a hoodie over me and headed out the door. I put my kittens in a carrier, locked the door, called the neighbors to feed my two Siberian Huskies, and headed for Virgina.

I stood silently on the platform of the bus station. All my dreams were coming true, one by one. But so were all my nightmares. I was leaving this town and all it's drama behind. It wasn't long since ago that my best friend had moved to Virginia. I looked at my wrists, the scabbing over slices that dotted them. My mind twitched back and forth between different thoughts. I still felt no emotions, just a deep emptiness.

And where was I? Standing here leaving everything I'd ever known behind to go far, far away from this place. I looked at my watch, the bus would be here any minute. I didn't know where I was going to go. I knew I'd be temporarily staying with my best friend in Virginia. I dug through my purse and pulled out a half-crumpled picture. I looked sadly at the boy and girl in the picture. The girl was me, and the boy was my ex-boyfriend Bryan. Tears filled my eyes for the first time in a long time. I could only hope he'd come back to me someday.

I quickly pulled the sleeves of my black hoodie down over my wrists and heard the bus pull up. I loaded my several bags onto the bus and found a window seat. I pressed my face against the cold window. I fell into a restless sleep, the first sleep I'd had in a week. Maybe longer. As I slept, I didn't dream. I just seemed to shift in total darkness. And it was such that way for several hours.

I awoke at roughly midnight, the bus still headed for Virginia. It was dark. So dark. I pulled out my cellphone and looked at it. He'd left me more than a year ago, but it still hurt. Suddenly the phone vibrated.

'Say so long to innocence, from beneath the evidence, you taste like Heaven, but God knows you're build for sin, you're built for sin, you're built for sin..'

I stared wide-eyed at the name flashing across the screen. "Bryan". I quickly shook myself out of my stupor and awnsered the phone.

"He-hello?" I awnsered.
"Becca?" Bryan asked.
"Yes...B-Bryan." I stumbled over my words.
"I can't do this anymore. I can't be without you. Can you meet me outside of Hamilton Place tonight?" He said, his voice pained.
"I am halfway to Virginia. We're going through Nashville right now." I said, wanting nothing more than to believe this was true.
"Get off and meet me at the mall. I'll be there in about two and a half hours." He ordered, but softly.
"Of course." I said, getting up and telling the driver to let me off.

I guess I was right. All my dreams were coming true. But maybe so were all my nightmares..