10 Ways to Eliminate Annoying People

No matter how disinterested you appear or the excessive number of times you need to "take care of something immediately," some people just don't get the hint that they are super annoying. So just remember a few of these tips and I doubt they'll ever want to speak to you again.

1. Defend Bernie Madoff. "Everyone deserves a second chance and I think Bernie has been through enough. Let's start an office donation for his poor wife and kids."

2. Argue that dinosaurs never existed. "Aliens put dinosaur bones on Earth years ago so that we would think they existed."

3. Describe the nutritional content of everything you see them eat. If this doesn't work, you can constantly talk about how they are negatively impacting the environment.

4. Stare at their forehead during the entire conversation.

5. Sketch them while they are talking to you. Be sure to exaggerate any noticeable imperfections before handing them the picture.

6. Pass gas while they are talking and say, "I refuse to apologize for my high fiber diet."

7. Ask them for $100 every time they start talking to you.

8. Wear a superhero costume under your clothes. Say, "Can you keep a secret?" and then lift up your shirt.

9. Play the role of stenographer if you are near a keyboard. It is crucial that you DO NOT speak while using this technique. Just keep documenting their conversation until they walk away.

10. Explain why Michael Vick is innocent. "Those dogs were born to fight; it's what they love. If anything, Michael Vick should be praised for letting those dogs express themselves naturally."