But she had a Mercedes

But She had a Mercedes

Many years ago when I was  22, I found myself broke , out of work and  on, Miami Beach.  When you’re 22 you don’t worry as much about security. You get up in the morning from the cabana that the cabana boys let you stay in as long as you’re out by 7a.m. And off you go to seek your fortune.
Cabana boys are very understanding. It helped  that I knew them as I lived  across the street in a neat apartment until I got kicked out two nights before.  But being young , you look at the bright side of everything. I wasn’t a traveling salesman anymore, no neckties, no schedules. I was in Miami. The sun was bright and off I went to seek employment. This was Collins Ave - A1A.  I stuck my thumb out and within a few  minutes a large white Cadillac with a long haired hippie slid up to the curb, rolled down the window and said: “hop in” . We were a generation of few words.
    I'll call this guy Michael as that was his name.  I told Michael where I was going, “I'm heading up to the hotel Castaways to see if I can get a job”. Michael was amused. He mused, “You know you should have faith in the universe and everything will come together and be provided through the right energy.”  “Well dude, that may be cool for you , but where I come from, Cincinnati, if you don’t work , you don’t eat.”.  I knew stuff. Then he asked me if I was in a hurry or would I like to hang out with him while he ran errands and then he would double back and let me off later.He looked and sounded interesting.  I too had been a hippie  except for the hair... I looked like Shirley Temple with long hair when I was first in the Navy, so except for the hair we had a lot in common. Girls and beaches and this nice air conditioned Caddy for examples. After an hour of running errands he pulled the car out to the 71rst St Beach and pulled over on the median.  He then asked me if I was handy, could I fix things?. I said yes, I grew up in a home improvement- family owned business.  He said, look, I work for a young but retired Builder from New York, he owns 11 major apartments all over Miami Beach. The fact is we are friends. we grew up together. We've known each other since we were kids. Here is his name and address of the office, just a 2 BR converted to an office.I think i can get you a job. “I will  set you up an interview for 3:00 today.” I had told him my hard luck story . He told me to go home, change clothes , relax, but be at the office promptly at 3. I was there promptly at 2:45. It was a pink building. I’m from Ohio. In the early 70’s pink was still gay. Miami Vice changed that in 1983. I knocked, some girl yelled ‘come in”, the door was unlocked and I went on in. This was Michael’s sister, it was  a family affair.As I entered  she said, oh, you’re Myles, go right on in to that room/office, they’re expecting you.
      There was Michael at one desk, long silver hair down to his seated butt.  And on the other end of the room, standing in a tennis outfit,  all of 5’2” was the boss, Stan.The antithesis of hippie, a straight business man to the bone, except for the white tennis shorts. I stood in front of his desk feeling like Id been called into the principal’s office. He asked me questions, like, do you steal?  No, not unless I really need it.(the answer to the do you steal question)  Can you mow lawns? Fix  windows? Do plumbing,  or electric ? And he had other questions until he decided that I had the job.

      This is where it got cool, or stranger than fiction. He said , “look I know you’re down on your luck… Michael told me.” He threw $100 bill down on the desk. “Take it.” You’ll need some money to eat” Now go to your cabana and get your stuff and Ill let you live in one of our furnished 2 BR apartments, here’s the address and the keys. I take it you hiked here, no car? Can you drive? Yes? Good, here is my wife’s Cadillac, go get settled." I need the car back tonight, you can have it over the weekend.
      Nice day, huh? I started out with literally nothing….No money, job, home,  or bed, and by 3:00 I had $100, residence in a 2 BR fully furnished ,and I mean even dishes and linens ,and full use of a brand new Caddy .
      I stayed with Stan and his crew for nearly two years. During the week Id collect rent, re-do apartments, fix things, and whatever.  Stan took weekends off, you could do that when you were worth millions. That meant  I was expected to be in charge Friday-Monday morning. I was On call all weekend. That was no problem. These places were always maintained. On Friday about 3pm ,  Id go to the main office and get my instructions for the coming weekend.
      One particular Friday Stan was unusually serious and succinct. “I have a tenant that’s my friend and she’s been a client for- two month summer rentals for 11 years.” (I forgot to tell you he got $1000 a week to rent these places, but a mere $2000  per monthly renters… and that was 1973. )
Here is her apt. number and address , she’s expecting a delivery, a bed from Sears Roebuck tomorrow, Saturday. Be there exactly at noon and help her receive the delivery and set up the bed, understand? I said yes. He repeated it... understand? I replied, “hey Stan, have I ever let you down?”  I knew I hadn’t.
  The next day , Saturday, I knocked at her door at exactly 12noon.  And here was the Saturday chef ‘s gourmet surprise. She answered the door dressed only in a sheer negligee under which were the obligatory black bra and panties and a body I couldn’t even relate to at my age. I remember thinking to myself, you better not say anything. You best just do your set up and get the heck out of there. And that’s the thought I kept in my head while she bent over to pick up one end of the mattress on the floor. Did I mention she had on patent leather high heels? I’m just saying…
    Well I did my job, we set up the queen size bed. When I was finished she went over and sat on a love seat and patted the cushion , asked me to sit down.    I’m a good employee, I’m a good employee, Stan is my friend.I want to keep my job.  This is what went through my mind.
    I sat. She crossed one leg over the other leg and said,  what are you doing today? I said nothing! “I’ve got nothing doing today either.” She continued , “if you could do anything  you wanted to do,  what would you want to do, we’ll do it together.”
    I’m thinking I know what I want to do but I know I want to keep my job, my apartment, my ding dong. So I said,    “When I got here I saw a white new Mercedes Benz convertible in the driveway, is that yours?”.
  “Yes”. I said well ,  I’ve always wanted to drive one of those. Think I could drive it?. You could get changed , blue jeans and a Tee and Ill drive it up Collins Ave and around the beach and see how many people I know that I can honk at. And that is what we did. , Geez, She still looked hot, we went out, jumped in the car and I drove up  the beach and down Biscayne blvd and up again and around.
I honked at everyone I knew even if i dint know them well -even people I didn’t know and I know they were all thinking, wow, he must have money, how else could he get that girl and that car ?”
And that is all we did except for stopping for lunch.  At the end of one of my very best days,  5 o’clock, I pulled up to her apartment, got out  , kissed her on the cheek and thanked her profusely for a very good day.  I walked happily on home to my place.
         My Mondays usually started about 9 . Not this Monday, the phone rang at 7:20 a.m. and  Stan was mad , I could hear it in his voice. The neighbors could hear it in his voice. I had to come to the office immediately. The office was about ten blocks away. I ran  and as I ran I kept going over and over in my mind, I know I was a good guy, I didn’t say nothing did I.? No passes.What could have been misconstrued?  Could she have maybe misunderstood my humor ? Oh gawd.Maybe she told Stan i scratched her car. I cant afford Mercedes paint.
I ran up the few steps and into the office . Before i could begin  he, Stan,  started talking loud and fast. “What happened Saturday with my friend?”
    “Stan, I swear , nothing happened”.  “I’ve been with you for nearly 2 years and what happened is I saw her in that outfit and, and… and.”  “Stop. Now,  just tell me word for word what happened?”
    Look Stan, I swear… nothing…She answered the door in a see through negligee and I thought I better just set up the bed and get out and maybe she misunderstood something I said but I would never hit on one of your tenants, you’re like my family.” You don't do that to family. I set up her bed.  “And then she said what’re you doing today and I said nothing.  She said what do you want to do?- I said drive your Mercedes... so we did. And  then we returned and I kissed her on the cheek and I went home.”
“I swear, nothing happened.” What did she say???
And then came the rest of the story, the awful conclusion. The horror, the horror.
Stan began to relate, “That tenant,Tonya, has been coming here from Vegas every year for 11 years, she’s my friend, my very good friend. I help her, she helps me. Ya know what she does in Vegas??? “She’s a call girl.” “A very high priced call girl.”. She was your Xmas bonus. I gave her $500 to be good to you, do whatever you wanted with her and you, Scmuck,  wanted to drive her car. You cost me $500 to drive her car? “I hope you’re happy.” “Are you happy?” And it was all I could do to NOT say… well yeah... I got to drive her car. For Cri ‘sake, It was a Mercedes!